nicole's 5 things

Five things you will find if you open my bag:

• chapstick/lipgloss
• writing utensils
• book
• tampon
• water bottle

• Five things in my bedroom (dorm room):

• planner
• bible
• yarn
• pictures
• violin

• Five things I’ve always wanted to do in my life:

• teleportation
• be really talented in something that only I can offer
• make beautiful music with whatever instrument I pick up
• ballroom dance with a best friend
• prepare a variety of ethnic foods really well

Five things that make me very happy:

• friends
• conversations about God and or spirituality
• cuddling with significant other
• bunnies
• dogs

Five things I’m currently into:

• clothes/shopping
• crafts/ceramics
• gaming
• classical music
• fitness

Five things on my To-Do list:

• Clean my room
• wrap presents
• get my license
• study for finals
• work

Five things some people may or may not know about you:

• I almost loathed practicing violin
• Shopping for those unmentionables make me warm inside
• I don't like most all perfumes or wearing scents
• I like to write in script
• I like good happy photography

I...

Play tennis

swim

shop

ride

sing

study

read

listen

work

I feel versatile :-)

What I like about Me Moment

What I like about me

#1: I don't need a boyfriend in order to be complete.

#2: I enjoy the comfort of my bible next to me and it gives me a good nights sleep when I'm restless.

#3: I am intentional about being intentional

#4: Even when I have doubt I still come back around and re-realize that God is bigger than anything and can handle it.

#5: I have confidence in myself to succeed and am realistic about the things I can and cannot do.

#6: That I know the difference from what is good for me and what is not so good. Even though sometimes I still follow the things that aren't the greatest for me, I also trust that in my stupidity, that God will turn it to be good and that i'll learn something valuable.

I hate that you are so emotional.
that you can't make up your mind.

and when I sit with my bible I remember the love that should be there for you.... because He loves you.

I hate that you can't get over yourself or the two lovers you have.


I hate that when my friends are sad I feel sad too.
and I hate that when the sun is not shining, I am not shining.

The good thing is that I know what is good and what is right.

Try not to be alarmed by one of my most recent goals

Goal #1: to start kayaking/ buy a kayak ( which is foreseeable.)

Goal #2: Learn about handguns, including shooting, cleaning, anatomy, and be able to shoot a target.

New Productions

and drama free.

Thankful for Marykate this week and always.

JENNA makes me smile and I'm proud of her graduating BMA

With summer, also comes new adventures. Meeting new people is part of life.

...because forward progress is important.

• caught a snake
• started a new book
• spent family time
• helped my aunt clean up her house in secret
• befriended the sun
• Met a lady down the street and helped her conduct a class and chilled with the ponies and horses. pulled my brain to remember how to tack and all the basic equipment. These horses were so incredibly tolerant of EVERYTHING. She has 36 all together (of course not all of them are so tolerant..it's cute)

The importance of helping others teaches me to give my time up for something productive. Helping someone else can teach or re-teach me something important.

Although frightening sometimes to step out of my comfort zone, it makes me a more well rounded person. Typically, controlled situations don't scare me. something as simple as catching a snake, isn't something I normally do. Because the snake wasnt in a controlled environment I cannot control it as easily either. Doing little things can teach me to let go, because I cannot control everything.

Spending time with most any of my family, and communicating with them in a mature way. I am setting my boundries with them and how I am treated. How refreshing!

I think it is important to keep past learned skills in practice too- like diving into the barn and helping out there. For the first visit, we felt out what I do and do not know, and I was not afraid to say, I am uncomfortable doing this because I do know how exactly how it should be done, but I'm willing to be taught!

okay.. tired. breakfast date with my auntie in the morning.

Cool People

Cool People I know:

Piotr from Poland is an Editor

Kris is a model (in secret)

Aaron plays soccer and is the football player I know

Dolly has vocal powers

Mrs. L. is like superwoman (admirable really)

Katie C. Makes knits and makes her own yarn and sells it on etsy

Peter who went to Americore who also plays Guitar with

Dan who is all over the place is loves everyone

David who dreams up crazy awesome house plans

Kelsey who aspires to be a great Denstist

P. Sergio- the most influencial person I know

N. Manente- similar to Mother Teresea

Gina- who went to college at 16

Abby who is pretty much launched into her career at 19

Jen who fights Crohn's Disease

Jeremy S. has single handedly became one of the first guys I ever met who knows what a gentleman is.

MaryKate- The most original, authentic person my age and is class of 09

Justin M. has been the most intentional person in person and spiritual growth

Last week I learned about Gandhi and Buddha

Went for a walk on Sabbath
Daisies are up =)

and with more time on my hands, blogging has become more frequent.

I'd like some work to do so I have money in my wallet =)

and this week i'm writing responses to a workshop for my portfolio.

yesterday I talked to Mrs. M who always makes me feel better. She said I was the most intentional person (in self improvement) she's ever met. I consider that a wonderful thing =] Perhaps, though, I should start taking notes on our conversations.

Dreams

Last night I dreamed I had a fever and I was terribly ill. I was trying to hide it until i started feeling really hot. The setting was Allen Middle School. I can no longer remember anything else other than wondering into the hall filled with 7th grade classrooms. I went looking for one particular teacher, who happened to be talking with another teacher. I did not want to interrupt her or her classroom but she saw me in the window and motioned to come in. After apologizing for interrupting, I sheepishly asked her to check my temp, as she was known to be very much like the school mom. As any mother, she first did the forehead check. .....

I actually don't remember anything else other than that.

On the news update:

I am officially alive in PA. I am officially over my last boyfriend, even though he upsets me time to time. I have visited Dolly, which was very refreshing. Today, my aunt from MD came up to have breakfast with me and we did just a few of our favorite things. One of which was going to the book store :-) Of course we couldn't leave without first buying at least one book. :-)

I've been looking for a car for when I go back to college. That is more work than I had bargained for. I have had a few nice friends to help me look and an uncle who is taking me to look some more.

Facebook has reunited me with some elementary/high school school friends. We've been trying to meet up and hang out for an afternoon. which is very good because it keeps me social, happy, and hopeful for the future.

Although I am not studying to be an accomplished Doctor or anything that many of the US population see as a successful career, I am studying to change lives. Yes, I do believe, in my naive self, that they can be taught and they can be reached. With these thoughts in mind, I am educating myself on some literature and studying one way in how to connect literature with the classroom. I have a ways to go in the papers to write though..

No I'm not perfect. Yes, I fail. No, I don't know everything, but I do like to learn. and Yes, I am competitive. So far, I consider myself blessed and accomplished, so yea.

I believe so because progress has been made over the last few years of my life. I make goals, and strive to meet them. I try not to compare myself to others so much either.- that is good.

Do not tell me I cannot do something, because I will go out of my way to prove you wrong. Obviously though, i take into consideration what I value and its purpose other than to prove another wrong. ;-)

Along the line of dreams:

• I dream to cook well including authentic thai food
• to bake well (which is easy) plus master the art of decorating
• to major in Education k-12
• background in business admin
• touch a little in the nursing field
• give something to the people I admire in my life as a personal thank you for being a guide
• I dream to be stable enough to own a fairly nice house and a decent SUV
• be an efficient swimmer by my own standards
• to regularly go to the gym when I have access to one
• I dream to also not dwell on the past but learn from it and move on (that one can be darn hard)
• teach in a christian atmosphere ie church
• learn enough hebrew to get me through the bible
• and over all, I dream to meet the goals that are most reasonable and accomplishable by me.

Dear Jesus,

I have a friend who's acting like a jerk right now. please help them stop acting like a jerk for a friend. Please help me love...

ps. Thanks for the good lunch. I had a really good (explosion in your mouth good) sandwich, and a donut and hot chocolate for desert.

Amen.

"love is a verb"

Today I realized I like being me. Just me; no one else. There are plenty of things I admire about other people, but I thought what I would be like if I were like them. I wouldn't be me.

It would be fun to pretend I was a pirate, or to always go to Neverland. Sometimes I do. Most of the time though, that's not me.

Parts of me wish I was carefree and crazy spontaneous. Sometimes I am. That's alright.

And sometimes I wish I had that flawless, airbrushed skin... The kind you see on some girls naturally and others, only after they have spent 30 minutes in the mirror applying foundation and other products.

If my skin were flawless/airbrushed perfectly, I wouldn't be reminded of the skin my daddy and my nana gave me. I wouldn't have to learn to accept myself and love myself for whatever odd textures or shades my face may have from one day to the next. Or, If i applied make-up every day, I'd be lying to the world..Lying to myself... and also not accepting me. I have make-up yes; it's me on my rebellious days. >-<>

Lets pretend I were one of the many naturally gifted people in academics, arts, music etc. If I were, I wouldn't appreciate my Bs as much or my As as much. I can still appreciate those who have that talent of getting the straight As without much to any effort at all. It's beautiful for the GPA! Without that talent though, I can appreciate the hard work, studying or practice, and that self-discipline that makes me a better person and that pays off in the end.

Oh, and I enjoy the outdoors and wearing regular t-shirts, with my good ol' sneakers. Climbing trees, sitting on the ground in random places, laying in the middle of the street with my auntie. I like horses and I don't mind mucking, I'll jump in a creek or a pond and i'm not scared of seaweed... I also like nice blouses,pencil skirts, fun dresses and modest clothes, and a cute pair of heels. I like scarves, books, reading, and taking notes.

yup.

I like me.

Today is not sunny.

Today is hard.

It is raining outside.

The pool was not open this morning.

Profanity came from my lips several times already this morning. What's worse is I feel a tremendous guilt for the lack of thankfulness and the lack of lady-like behaviors.

I most definitely am not that sunshine today. Last night I read Haggai- that was good; refreshing really. And yesterday was icky too.

But tomorrow... and Tomorrow? Tomorrow is storms and rain. Given, I enjoy sitting on the porch during thunderstorms at home or next to the fireplace in my chair at my grandma's. I suppose i'll picture myself there with a blanket my book. Nothing Else.

For Those Who Asked

In nut shell, I'll lay out the facts:

• Went to the Lake and was 'refreshed' by the water. I was semi-forced to get in the icy water in shorts and a tank. BRR
• Trip to Orlando resulted in ice skating (FUN), Dinner at Kobe's (yum) and getting lost
• Went to Sebastian: saw the sun rise over the horizon, fished and took pictures
• Sat in the Sun
• Made dinner for Sager Family
• Practiced Chess
• Explored the outdoors

Florida Break cont

Coming out of my comfort zone is rewarding. Lesson Learned.

(While in Florida)

Fish

I may not have caught any fish that morning, but i captures some beautiful pictures!

Sometimes I wish I could take away all your pain and troubles; so that you may see all joy

...But then if i really could, I probably wouldn't. Jesus has the power to and he doesn't. He surely knows what is best. If i had to guess, I would have to say, he lets us with our troubles and sorrows so that we may learn and grow from them. He doesn't leave us out there all alone though either- he definitely is there beside you and I the entire time (even if we don't feel him)

Florida So far

So Sorry

Today, I had to explain my situation and my life pretty much to some random guy in the business department today and i felt like what I was doing was something similar to complaining. It put me in an extremely uncomfortable position to say the least. I don't feel as if, in order for people to understand that Scholarships are what is going to keep me at Southern, they need to know my life for the passed three or four years. So What I am going to to about this is..... change my attitude. Yes, seeing that this is an option that i see, I will try and change my attitude about it and see what I can to do explain myself differently next time.

So on the walk back to the dorm with the girl who told me to go to this guy in Brock, I picked up and elaborated a little more on what happened last semester that actually almost required me to have a lawyer. I was telling her something that happened last semester. With that, maybe one day i'll learn to be a fun story-teller. :-) It might make me a better teacher. hmm. Glad I can see multiple sides of life. :P

Prayers Please and Thanks

Jesus' got me. So just trust in Him, self.

What is good:

I want to act as if you are there with me at every moment of the day.

I spent the last two days extremely happy and hyper.

I studied yesterday, swam today, and enjoyed the sun and God's Earth all day today.

I realized that my close-friendships should not be dictated by those who are mostly acquaintances.

and speaking of swimming, we started the butterfly. -Intense

The opposite:

I have a D- in World Geo

I need to study and work hard because I have been slacking the last two weeks- due to not wanting to get out of bed, wanting to sleep all the time and not seeing light at the other end.

I've been reminded of the things I should not do and I am sliding back into old unwanted habits.

I don't care about school work- I care about people. (which would be an awesome thing if school didn't dictate whether i can graduate and launch my career)

Thanks for a fun evening reading children's books for class.

Today my boss noticed a difference in me. He said that we need to talk about life. First thing that comes to mind, I would like to say one thing but I don't know how true it is and the second thing i think of is, what do I say because that's kind of an intimidating conversation.

I am excited about the future and where I am now. I am thankful to God and I am glad I have learned as much as I have in the last year. Now I need to learn why it is okay to lose friends and let them go. I am tormented because I know there are people who are not good for my personal growth but I also know that that didn't stop Jesus from hanging out with people.

I think it is completely possible to talk about things other than other people and boys. I am going to be one of those people who can and hopefully, I will rub off on others. Please, just please stop talking about other people and talking about the opposite sex so often.

The end- Good Night

while reflecting on the paper I must write, I realized that being a teacher is, in some ways, more important than any other profession. One reason is because we have to BE the example of what we wish to see our students become. As this role model, young minds are a vacuum to our actions and our words. We are unlike many other professions because, other professions, such as doctors, are not in contact with any one child for as long as a time period as an educator. ..... Lost my thought.. man...

I am SOO happy-

THE END

ps on the phone :-))))

Thereafter Education Retreat

Blood Assurance

No words can express my happiness at that moment :-)

The Message bible does not speak to me anymore so I am putting it back on its shelf and pulling out the clear word for a little while and putting that next to the NIV to read. Going to get open minded about clear word because i saw a few verses in it i really liked and am liking the way it was translated.

ive made a compilation of verses i received and highlighting them. :-) Then off to reading more Old Testament. probably not today though....

Good Night

A moment

Today I took one of my moments and Toria captured it for me.

So thanks Toria :-)

I am not afraid

Kyle Nase, I miss you. So if anyone sees him give him a big hug for me, thanks :-) For the whole world to know, he is awesome. Don't doubt his superhero powers!

-The End

Weekend Via Photos

One More

A lot must be learned while at college. These are a few.

An Ounce of Leadership

^"1If you have any encouragement from being united with Christ, if any comfort from his love, if any fellowship with the Spirit, if any tenderness and compassion, ²then make my joy complete by being like-minded, having the same love, being one in spirit and purpose." - Phillipians 2: 1-2

As author John Maxwell has noted, there is a difference between being a leader and being a manager. He often points out that management focuses on maintaining systems and processes, while leadership is about “influencing people to follow.” One way to cultivate such influence is breathtaking in its simplicity: Influence involves caring sincerely about others.

This article continued on about how one day during a student's senior year, he had been going through his day and he had been having a particularly rough afternoon. Going to check his mailbox, he found a card with a note written in blue ink. There was not any signature to identify the person. The note had done its job and a signature was not necessary.

A few words of encouragement or an act of service can go a long way for the unsuspecting person. What is even better is that prayer can give an additional lifting. James 5:16 also says, “the earnest prayer of a righteous person has great power and produces wonderful results."

Thinking about prayer, lately i've been reminded of prayer circle at BMA and how refreshing it was to watch from afar or (sometimes) participate in it. A few moments to bring together different friends and pray for each other. Seeing those moments on a campus like SAU would be awesome too. So next plan, grab BMA people and start! Our schedules are a bit different i would guess so it'd be a matter of working around that.

Yay for ambitious self. }l{

Holy War?

(From Deepen your Faith Devotional)

The involvement of our country in the war in Iraq inspired many polls for or against the war on the Internet. While many people are quick to point out the need for the war (to gain justice for the human rights violations and acts of terrorism suffered by many; to punish the terrorists), others seem doubtful. Some Christians have asked themselves, Should a Christian ever go to war? Or should Christians be pacifists, refusing to take up arms no matter what the cause? Have you asked yourself those questions as well?

Let’s examine God’s orders for his chosen nation of Israel in the Old Testament. In Numbers 31, God tells his people to go to war with the Midianites and to utterly destroy them. Why did God require such terrible punishment for Israel’s enemies? Aren’t Christians supposed to be loving and kind peacemakers?

To answer this, we have to understand some basic differences between the Old Testament nation of Israel and God’s people today. In the Old Testament, God led his nation to their new home--Canaan. Along the way, they were opposed by numerous other nations, like the Midianites. (After all, who would voluntarily give up his or her home?)

The problem wasn’t simply that these other people were in the way. They also worshiped idols and routinely sacrificed children to these idols.

For Christians today, however, our war is a spiritual one. 'For we are not fighting against flesh-and-blood enemies, but against evil rulers and authorities of the unseen world, against mighty powers in this dark world, and against evil spirits in the heavenly places' (Eph 6:12). God’s people today are not determined bynationality, but by spirituality. Whereas God’s blessings and promises before belonged to Abraham’s physical descendants, they now belong to those who are spiritually 'grafted' into Abraham’s line (Rom 11:17). Therefore, when any nation goes to war today, its cause may be just, but it cannot be considered holy in the way Israel’s wars were. Israel had God himself fighting battles for them, and he often gave Israel miraculous assistance and assurance of victory. No modern nation can make that claim.

So, should a Christian go to war? Unfortunately, you won’t find the final answer here. We see in God’s Word that God has, at times, told his people to go to war with other people; therefore, those who believe war is never right should reconsider.

No Music on the Promenade

The cold, breezy weather reminded me of times I would walk along outside looking up towards the sky, imagining what it is like for God to be looking down. I suppose, I will begin to run instead though. This feeling of resentment towards cold, breezy weather will never last more than a few more minutes. In a few minutes, I'll be back to my normal self. Like right now: I understand the sentimental value behind the music department on a cold night. I understand what it means when asked, "do you want to go for a walk?" Going for a walk means one of two things, something will be begin or something will end.