Good Morning...

"Good Morning, its God's morning, whether the skies are sunny or grayyyyy. Good morning its God's morning, hope u have a wonderful day. HEY!!!"
These have been the words sung all week long at school in the cafe in the morning when I see Abby. But today, We sang REALLY loud and Got some people's attention while Abby tried to get me to walk down the aisle! (NO WAY, man!) I dont need help on making a scepctacle of myself, thanks!

Camp is coming around the corner and there is always the question, can I afford it(or moreless, can my grandmother afford it) and how many weeks would I LIKE to go. ANd of course the answer is always all of them but thats not possible for me. I'm also always asking the question, who am i going to get something this year and WHAT do i want to get them. The other is, who do i WANT to stay with(knowing my options). Some of the other questions are getting summer clothes and when i can get them, classes i wanna take because of seeing ppl(staff) and to share the same classes w/ someone else, the cabin i want to stay in that will be debated between all my girls and myself so we can be fairly close to eachother if not in the same cabin.

I'm patiently waiting for summer to arrive so I can get moving on all the preperations! I think getting ready is one of the 2 best parts of summer! (the other is seeing all my dear peeps!)
So in the spirit of camp's coming i've been continuously trying to get ppl from school to join me in camp and taking some of the camp traditions and bringing them into camp. (the cup game, the break it down thing, and the clapping, the 500 miles, GOOD MORNING!!!, and the good times between Abby and me!!!)

Missing my dear peeps and i know it wont be the same without Wendy there. I never realized how much fun she had made camp until she had left.. I'm gonna miss you Wendy!

THANK YOU!!

I want to thank a VERY GREAT person today (and u know who u are, I read YOUR blog daily!) Thank you for the AMAZING camp pictures!!!!! THE ARE TRULY AMAZING!! They have My Katie and Jeremy and Tara and Melanie and Gina and Emily!!! They have everyone!! you ARE GREAT!!!! I shall love you forever!!! ;) :* I WILL INDEED!!! You need to check your mail and get online too!! I wanna thank you in person(well as much as i poss. can do) My day was at a low today and you sky rocketed it by 100%!!!! So THANK YOU AGAIN FOR MY AMAZING PICTURES!! 341 of them!!! well round about..

AND NOW some not soo good news.. I am pondering about this blog and its further existance. AND the only reason i AM saying this is because I have had a dear friend of mine (actually a few of them...but this one has actually changed my thinking)for security reasons. My friend is very much concerned for my own safety and I am sure it would save him from worrying about me. He is worried about how openly i share my life with everyone. When really its for only the people who care to look for me. You would really have to know me and know my blog's existance in order to contact this blog and I could ALSO make this blog private. We SHALL see. If i DO i may change to a emails of my whereabouts. I will first,however, try to make this a little more less personal(getting rid of anything that would give away my identity and specific whereabouts and such..) For some of you this may be a good thing, to get rid of my blog because it is ONE LESS blog to read and 5 extra minutes to your schedule for the day etc. Others may just be happy that it would no longer exist! He is mainly concerned about all the phsycos out there. So I'm going to think long about this one. Writing here gives me a lot of relaxation of a long stressful day sometimes and it is my 'expressing myself' and this blog is good for honing my writing skills. Its good to vent, good to really thank and appreciate people in my life, good to share thoughts and share God. This blog is of good use when it comes to keeping in contact with long distant friends (such as my one and only doll and my ever so cute Emily and my loving and beautiful Katie!!). ONce again.. we shall see. tis not a definite.. But it may be good in the long wrong.. i will seee what i can do to tweek the settings to make it so only the ppl i allow see it.
g'night ya'll!! much love to my dears!

This on is for YOU

My dearest dolly! (who else!?!? ;))

I wanted to tell you that I love you very much!! YOu are so amazing, more amazing than anyone i know ON THIS PLANET. God loves you VERY,VERY much and is using you in spectacular ways. i can't thank you enough for everything you do. Life is hard sometiems, which means drama, but I know you can get through it because it is temporary and you have the strength and the will in you to do so. When I look at you, i see something that isn't in anyone else. It's a sincereness and a unconditional loving heart and patience you have. It's the 'i'm doing what's best for u' type of thing too. It's HIS fingerprints in you and it reflects so brightly on you.
NOT A LOT of people see what's so special about you and such, and other people are intimidated by you thinking they aren't able to live up to your greatness in my heart. But for all the other readers out there, don't be. Yes, all of the readers here i love and DO HAVE a special place in my heart and SHOULD know it.

A lot of people love you, and also see the uniqueness you hold, The individuality you possess. I and others see much deeper than that head of curls and beautiful face. I see you. I see your personality and your laughs and tears, i see your the trouble and drama life brings and the effect it has on your heart. I see the ache in your eyes for something more... I see the love in them as well though. I see the happiness and the fire in them. I see the joy you bring and the love you so freely give. There is soo much I see in you that NOT everyone gets a glimpse of. I see your passion for things and your persistance and perfectionist side of you. yea, I see it! :P and all these things are very beautiful and very YOU. It's what makes me love you soo much as a loyal and loving friend and a 'adopted sister' who cares soo much through your busy days. You are AMAZING and I LOVE YA GIRL!!
sweet dreams!

What makes me smile

Knowing “this too shall pass…”
A beautiful voice of a friend singing.
Remembering special moments at camp
Remembering times of ‘bonding’
Remembering things friends have said
Hearing from missed and loved friends
The smells of the country air, barn and vanilla
My scrapbook and pictures of people I hold dear to my heart
Getting long-distant phone calls sometimes late at night
Dirty Feet!!!!
Pizza Hut(two straws)
“the dead fish” story
Seeing my lil bro being thoughtful and loving
Seing one beautiful thing in a world of despair
*anything memorable*
a silver Toyota Rx4 (I think that’s the kind)
My auntie (and time with her)
The innocence of a child
Comfortable silence
Mr. Little
“Fire Breather”
“Brad Pitt”
Knowing that each day we get one step closer to His coming
Knowing that I have friends who care about me and love me and knowing how much I love them.
ALSO knowing that someday all of my beloved friends will all be together with me in heaven someday. :))
AND hugs from ppl i love very much!! :))Hugs are great things!!
AFter a friend's blog entry, i too had decided to make an entry of all the things that bring a smile to my face.

Whole Day

Early this morning Rick had saved a life, literally. On the way to church there was a huge car accident of which he had been the first to witness the after affects of. He had found the car in a ditch at a corner, bent in every which direction. Rick had heard a moaning voice, and thinking it was coming from the car he went there to look for him. He discovered the voice wasn’t coming from there and so he continued to follow the cry which ended up being a little way down the street and across it. He had found the poor man helplessly also bent in every direction his body would let him and in very horrible condition. Which I will NOT describe to you! Rick called 911 and they arrived while Rick continued on as if nothing happened. After the nursing home, the two of us took the drive there so he could give me a better detailed image of the occurrence before heading back to the church.
After church today, and after going to the nursing home to sing, we all came back to the church to spend a great afternoon together! 

Before we left for the home, Rick and I, while listening to an Iworship Cd (because we couldn’t listen to David Crowder in the church) sat in the mother’s room and ate Tostitos and salsa while having a polite, and friendly conversation, while the rest of the people rested in the sanctuary.
After coming back, we all layed down for a little while with the exception of Gloria and me to rest a little while. She and I set some water on to get hot to make some tea. When she was done she wanted to hear a song I was talking about at the nursing home and so we decided to go upstairs so I could play(attempting to) the piano without disrupting everyone else. Rick appeared to be interested as well and so after I went back downstairs to get myself some tea, the two of us went upstairs so he too could listen to this song. We talked for a few moments before deciding to be socialable and went back downstairs to have tea with everyone else who had gotten up.
OH, I have seemed to forget to mention that ever since Friday afternoon, and a pleasant talk with a friend, I have NOT stopped eating!! One, for fear I may be dangerously close to causing someone else to stop eating because of her concern for my health, but THAT is a different story. Two, I have not eaten very much all week long because I just simply wasn’t hungry and now I am. So, three cups of tea and 7 cups/bowls (yes seven!) of soup later I was up for that walk that Rick and I were talking about earlier in the car while on the way back to the church from the nursing home. (I felt tremendously fat/bloated after the 5th cup of soup…)
The two of us went for a walk, which turned into a run and then a race. (Which I must say, I DID win although he is quite the runner) The two of us went to the school which was a little over a mile away. I felt so much like dolly on her Sabbath walks I HAD to smile at the very thought of her and her friends being like Rick and I. We walked the entire campus, including 2 football fields, 2 soccer fields, lost of bball courts, two playgrounds(which we had fun going through!!) the back yard, through a field and the woods(sorta) and ended back at the church ankle high in mud that I stepped in! 

It did not end there! At 7pm we had a seminar with Shawn Boonstra (whose bday is today), Unlocking the Signs. And that is where the night ended, next to Rick at the sound table, operating it!  and looking for something in the bible and listening to the sermon.

Deep Thought indeed

To bounce off of what a friend said, "If God gave you all the knowledge about this life and what it holds, what would you do with it?...
You would be the ultimate psychologist. YOU would know how the human mind works, how everyone will react to any situation, YOU alone could essentially tell the future!

Would you want that? "
There are both advantages and disadvantages to knowing all, just as God does. Yes, it's true, u would know the success or failure of both yourself and everyone else around you, you would know your mate for life, you would know the challeges you would have to face too. Think about that. could you handle it if u knew the challenges you were going to face in life? in my friend's blog he said he would have said no way he didnt think he'd be able to. I'm not sure, myself, whether i'd run away from it or try to conquer it. Try to beat the odds just to prove everyone wrong and to prove to myself i could beat the odds. What would I do if God gave me all the knowledge about this life and what it holds?

I know that if i was given the intellegance, I would try to take all of the burdens of my friends hearts and cast them into a sea. I would be there for them before they knew they needed a friend's shoulder. I would let people make mistakes but also make sure that they learned from them. But then again, that would involve more than just knowledge, all of this, it would also involve all the power that ONLY God posesses.
On the other hand, however, I would be very troubled to know all of the things that people would go through, all the twists and turns and flipflops they would have to face, knowing it would be hard for them. It would be overwhelming to know that people would be lost(although we already know because the bible tells us so), But to know that you can't do anything to stop it, it's their choice to choose which path they want to take.
The only thing to do, is to tell everyone about it, and yet, we can do that know, even without all the knowledge! We know, as christians, that the world is coming to an end and there are poeple to be saved. There have troubled and lost hearts that need a father to rely on; and not just an earthly father. With all the knowledge, what else could we do, that can't be done now? Think about it. God has given us the prophecy and so we really do know whats going to happen although it may not include each individual and who they're soul mate is, or their perfect job, or for school students, their grades, how their going to do on their tests and so on.
As to knowing how the mind workds, and how other people think or what their thinking, that would be kinda of scary. Knowing all their lies or manipulations, not being able to put your trust in them mainly because u know everything, period. Isn't friendship about trust, at least partially? You would know how they would react if u said something, thus leading to you not saying anything in the end sometimes. You would know all the love or hate they have. All the tears they have cried, all the joys they have experienced, you wouldnt even have to ask them, you would just know, just like God DOES.
With all that Knowledge about life and what it holds, what would YOU do with it if God gave it to you? God has a lot to deal with, knowing all about the world, and about us. He knows every tear, and records it, as said in the bible, He knows our troubles, He knows our secrets, our pasts, our hearts, our minds, our thoughts, our sins too. But in the end, he also knows that he will be wiping all those tears away, giving hope. AND HE died on the cross taking all our sins and whatnot with him on it. Such power!!! Such a loving Father. And because he Loves you he had done it. I'm glad he HASN'T given me all the knowledge, that he hasn't burdened me with all the sorrows of this world.
Thought for the night. G'night!

This summer

I just did most of my figures and this summer i'll be spending over 500 dollars at camp if i stay for CIT, Junior 2, AND teen! for them alone its $555 bucks not including horsemanship which is another fifteeen.

Just for ya'll's on reference if you too are planning on attending Laurel Lake this year, the prices have been raised but there have been activities added as well. The ones in caps are the ones i'm prob. gonna take.
Archery, bball, ceramics, DIGITAL/VIDEO PHOTOGRAPHY,HORSES, Model Rocketry, Nature Discovery, Sports Activites(adventure campers only), Arts and crafts, canoeing, CHRISTIAN DRAMA, gymnastics, leather craft, mountain biking, swimming, water skiiing(teen only), Jet ski/aquajump, and wilderness survival.


Adventure(ages 7-19), Junior 1 and 2(ages 10-12?) are all $220 a week. Teen is $235(13-17) and CIT is $100. Adventure camp runs from 6/25/06-7/2/06; Junior 1 from 7/2-7/9; junior 2 from 7/9-7/16 and Teen is from the 16th to the 23 of July.

I know that there are 2 new ppl interested in going that are from my school(not including Abby and I) and they are pretty likely to look at my blog since i just gave it to them today and I told them i'd let them know when it was.

I think, if i even did get the chance to actually work at camp or be CIT i'd prob. be losing more money than gaining. :S
Ok, i have math homework to finish.. Much love to my most ever so lovely Katie and my dearest and loved Doll and my spectacularly, loving and silly Emily! xoxoxo

Lots of great events!

For all of you who HAVEN'T discovered miss Yancer as of yet she HAS blogged and she IS pretty ok other than her being extremely busy! Check out her blog for yourself, i have a link to the right.. or at least I should. But anyway, yes, if u wish to know more check out her entry and comment! Let her know u love her!! ;) :)) I'm so glad Katie had dedicated an entire blog to Emily's disappearance because apparently just my blog wasn't getting through! ;)

Mr. Little is home for two weeks my dear AMS and former AMS students!! Shoot him some mail and if ya dont have his email i'm sure i can dig it up! :D if not, ask Fodness or any other AMS staff and they'll have it! Students, do hurry! He's ONLY Here for TWO weeks then he has to go back to Iraq until almost Aug.

As of Today I SHOULD be getting home earlier, more like around 3pm instead of 3:30pm because i can get off the bus somewhere else and just walk home from there! I will have an extra half hour to do what i feel like. With the exception of tomorrow because i have a stupid eye appointment and I am gonna tell my doc that I think i'll be going back to glasses because the contacts are just not staying in my eyes and it irritates them way too much.. Not to mention that it screws up my vision even more.. yea.. i dont need to be walking into things!;)

As for school, I'm very disappointed with myself.. I somehow managed to really mess up on my last math test which was a major one which will be bringing my grade down dramatically giving me a VERY low C if not a high D.. I'll be suprised if i get otherwise.. :(( I was doing soo well i dont know what happened.. I did fine on the short answer but something happened with my mult. choice.. I have next MP to change my overall.. I think this is the worst i've done on my any of my tests ever! But anyway, the rest of my grades are great! i have a 97 in Child development and a 95 in science and a.. 93 or something in English now! :D So.. that gives me like a 91 GPA from what my councelor said! :D:D

But anyway! Back to my dear Yancer girl! I'm very glad, whereever u are and what ever your doing, that you are alive and can finally breathe (at least for a little while) love ya girl! miss you soo much!!! xoxoxo

I think I have changed my mind about that perfume btw. It DOES smell good but not enough so to be ranked next to the barn and the country!! That is for sure! but it is a nice perfume.. it reminds me of something but i can't put my finger on it.. maybe Umphrey's room? that would be a horrid thing! ;) j/k

So, Dolly, what DID u buy me?!?! and must i wait until u come home to get it?!?! What ever it is though, i'm sure its not as great as it would be to see you!!!! :D:D:D love you my dear!!! MORE!

Depression (maybe not quite a state of depression) takes a lot out of someone, I have most recently discovered. I have also discovered that I can turn off all emotion when needed, but unintentionally. And one other thing, the people we love and care about the most we tend to try to protect from danger and protect their innocence (but in other cases, we don’t for one reason or another). All of these things I have discovered in the last 24hrs. There are effects to staying up late, I suppose. No more to say I guess…. There are other things to think about that are so much more pleasing and optimistic. Such as the possibility of hearing from Emily?!?! Tis a happy thought indeed!

WE miss you Emily Y..!!!!! I hope u will be at camp...

I have found one of my new favorite smells! I dont' know exactly what it smells like but i like it! I think i'll put it up there next to the smell of country air and the barn. <3 I think i might just go buy this...  

A day to think about (yes, a long post.)

My day was maybe not emotional… but it made me think more. Starting last evening around 7ivsh I made my first phone call for the day. (Lately I’ve been calling people more than usual...) The first person I called was out for dinner or something like that... A few hours later during a commercial I tried to call another one of my friends whom I’ve been trying to reach for the past 3 or 4 days and I got a hold of her the second time I rang yesterday evening. My phone call to her was an important one because there was something I really needed to tell her, feeling guilty as I was, she deserved to know. (Do not worry my readers, if u wish to really know, email.)
The first phone call wasn’t as important but it was someone I did wish to talk to. And that person, I WILL talk to. You know who u are!

This morning, when I woke up, maybe 10 minutes later my dad woke up ( I was with him for the weekend.)
The evening before, my uncle and his girlfriend from Maryland, my aunt and cousin from Florida, all came up to visit with my dad and I and to go through some of my grandma Ampon’s papers that were in Thai along with pictures. (Grams and I have been through her pictures several times before she died) After my aunts and cousin’s department, my uncle left with his g/f again to go pick something up that they were looking for, which turned out to be a laptop for my dad. You will see how this ties in.

So this morning, my dad wakes up and asks why I love him. In reply, I said, because you are my father.
“But I am a bad father. I am an alcoholic…” and such he replied.
“That doesn’t mean I don’t love you”
…..”Tim bought me a laptop. Why do you all love me??”
“I don’t know. Because we do”
“Think about why you love me. Unlock the keys to life.”
I don’t want to know why I love you, nor do I care, I thought.
A few moments later he was in tears, probably because he was baffled by the fact that we love him??
“Dad, go to bed. It’s too early for u to be up. You are very emotional”
I am not one that my family should go to for emotional support. I am not very great at it for some reason. Well, with my immediate family, I should say. I seem to be pretty cold and unemotional… (But its quite the contrary with my friends. I am very supportive of them and am always open for them if they need a shoulder.) He not going back to bed, I resumed my TV. watching as he layed on the bed to watch me.
“Give me something.” I threw him my blanket. “No part of you”
????? went across my mind. WHAT?? I gave him my arm and he was happy. (I suppose)
Once again, I’m not a big person on cuddling and such with my mom and dad... it just doesn’t feel natural between us, if the truth must be told.

Moments later he said something and in reply I think I said, or maybe I thought, I try not to get attached to my family because I don’t want to end up losing them and becoming extremely depressed.
And now, as I think about it, why do I allow myself to become close to my friends. What would happen if one of them passed? I am sure my world would come to an end... at least emotionally. I would be torn and by the end I would be completely drained. They are such a big part of my life, and such a large influence on me, why do I allow them to effect me unlike my family. I do care for them both, but not in the same way. I would not want to lose either of them. Maybe it is because my family is so much closer to me just because they are family. I do not know.
So the question now is why am I more affectionate to my friends more than my family. And the thing to think about is my dad and all that is happening with him. OH! Btw new test results are in and he is expected to live another year and maybe the year after that. (Earlier, we didn’t know if he was expected to live through this bday which I sin may. He’s gotten a few tests done in the last couple months and not many of them were turning out for the better. I was not going to worry about it however because if he was going to pass then that was His will and there is nothing that I can do to stop it and I don’t want to stop it. He has lived and seen and suffered, why go through more?

And so the second thought of the day was between my auntie and me. The two of us had a heart to heart email conversation over the past, at least, three hours. And this I don’t want to go into any detail in. AND I know I just said that I am not affectionate with my family but I think my auntie is an exception because she is more than family. Her and I are great friends and we have shared many things that my mother and I haven’t even though it would be more like a mother daughter conversation. My auntie’s and my conversations are as if she was MY mother, like many people’s aunts are. We have heart to hearts frequently, I think but some of them affect me more deeply than others and this past one was one. So my auntie, if u ARE indeed reading, I LOVE YOU!!!

On another subject, theres some things that have been in question for me lately since I have entered some ‘new territory’ and have become a little I don’t know what yet… And then there is what I talked to my friend about last night around 9pm. Am I a person to be trusted and AM I responsible? The question now arises how ‘good’ am I, really? Am I as good as everyone makes me out to be or am I otherwise… I need to make a decision as to who/what I am because camp IS coming up and I need to be ready to serve God to the truest.

one of my new favs.

Incident in a Rose Garden: Donald Justice


Gardener
Sir, I encountered Death
Just now among our roses
Thin as a scythe he stood there.

I knew him by his pictures
He had on his black coat
Black gloves, and broad black hat.

I think he would have spoken,
Seeing his mouth stood open.
Big it was, with white teeth.

As soon as he beckoned, I ran.
I ran untill I found you.
Sir, I'm quitting my job.

I want to see my sons
Once more before I die.
I want to see California.

Master
Sir, you must be that stranger
Who threatened my gardener.
This is my property, sir.

I welcome only friends here.

Death
Sir, I knew your father.
And we were friends at the end.

As for your gardener,
I did not threaten him.
Old men mistake my gestures.

I only ment to ask him
To show me to his master.
I take it you are he?

My dearest KATIE!! i think i did this while at camp.. dunno.. 

Sunrise: One of my personal favorites.. but i'm not quite sure why..  

And My virtuoso! Tis great isn't it?!?! 

after ALMOST losing this book at school because of the starting of the poetry unit (a lot of doll's poems are in here) i brought it to my mom's to scan it! well some of it..  

Do I miss YOU? YOu bet!

Ok, so i admit, I got a LITTLE bored.. Or at least i was avoiding the fact that i needed to read as well as get down to grandma's.. When I'm not busy with school work my mind always, and it never fails, to think of my dear camp people, whom I love soo much.. and miss for that matter! but anyway... I'm bored and I miss my peeps... I wish they were just a walk away.. but no.. ya'll gotta be in different states and countries! Bah!!!
ok.. I found a friend to talk to and i havent talked to him for a while so i'm gonna go.
loves

my new church outfit/ camp rodeo thing! i Went to wally world yesterday! great pose right?!? ;)  

This is where I tell you how the speech went!!!

Hehehe! This is where I tell you how the speech went!!! :)) :))
This morning when I walked into the church and after I greeted Rick, he started asking me what it was I was doing. No one knew what I was doing with the exception of Jeff, the elder. All I told Rick was that I wanted him to be at church this weekend. So After I called him he emailed me the rest of the week asking what it was I was doing. So this morning it continued on from the previous nights. He bugged and bugged for a whole hour almost!! Does it have to do with this?? Give me a hint! So to that I told him what books he could find what I was talking about it in. In response he looked up the first but then shut his book because when he asked if it was this or that I replied that he’ll just have to wait.

When church began, Kimberly, on of my very dear friends, we had opening service before we had the sermon. During the sermon, which actually sorta pertained to what I was going to make a speech on, I spilled and gave Kimberly what I was going to say to get some more advice on it. My elder told me it was fine and I just wasn’t happy with that I wanted criticism and I wanted to hear a trusted and wise person’s thoughts on it. So in my Kimberly and Nikki notebook we discussed what and whys and with that I was satisfied. She was very impressed that I had the motive to do this and asked what inspired me to do so. I told her and in reply she said that I was very much like her at when she was my age (she’s not old, not old at all really, actually quite young. She’s maybe.. 33- she just started to come back to church after a dispute a while back). She said that I was very opinionated, which is a good thing, she said.

My speech was soon too come! And with it coming I started to feel the nervousness/ excitement hit. I was fine up until maybe 5 minutes before I went up to the pulpit to speak.

I added a few things to it so its not as short as it was when I presented it to ya’ll.  When I was up there we had prayer before we began and I asked them to please open their bibles to read some text before we really began. For the first, maybe paragraph, I was really shaky. I took a breath..2 breaths… ok…3 breaths and went into my second and 3rd paragraph. I was completely relaxed by that 3rd paragraph, although I was still quite conscious of my reading, knowing how fast I can read and speak. I received a couple ‘amens’ here and there several pleased looks with the people I did look at that wouldn’t make me nervous again.
In the end I gave them a challenge. This week I’m going to try to work on making some ribbins for something then I found in my lesson for next week. It was something a teacher used on her kids and I thought the challenge in itself was pretty good. So that will be added onto the list of school projects I’m currently working on.

When I was done, I was shaky once again going down the four steps I had. I seem quite vulnerable after I stepped away from the protection of the pulpit and thus felt like people could see right through me and I was layed out for them so they could eat me alive. I am personally not real fond of public speaking but only because I get really nervous in the beginning although I enjoy speaking very much for large groups. I love to feel in charge in a way. :P Anyway, I went back to my seat getting ready for Sabbath school to begin and got some more reassurance from my oh so dear Kimberly just filled with love filled hugs today. :D:D:D (Very good bonding time today between the two of us)

The rest of the day, many people seemed to avoid me, esp. the females. The guys didn’t have as much of a problem speaking to me and it made me feel more comfortable. I really think I got a mix of feelings. Most of the congregation avoided me, but then again, I was expecting to get bombarded with I don’t know what. My grandma really tried to avoid me, both of them at that! But hey, I guess it’s better than being scolded for doing that and not telling her or something like that!  One of the people who missed it due to a project she was setting up for upstairs asked to read it so I handed her that along with my notebook filled with the other half of my ‘speech’. Nobody really said anything about it besides Kimberly, Deb and Pat. With pat it was more like lots of hugs and kisses and she said that we really needed that.

On the way home, however, the conversation that I was trying to keep tabs on while listening to my Christian music mix that I was missing soo much since I left it at church the week before, Grandma talked nothing of anyone else and no gossiping of any kind. So I’m glad it really had an effect in that aspect so far. :)

God keeps Blessing!

Last night I recieved the call i've been waiting for anxiously all week! The call was from Denise, the oh so sweet, new director at the very Laurel Lake camp, the worlds greatest camp on the face of this earth!! We chatted for a few minutes just exchanging information to get a sense of eachother. :)) So, when i DID get off the phone with her, I got up, walked/skipped out to the living room where the fire place is and sang and danced and figured out what I wanted to do next and so decided on going in my room and putting in my camp cd and singing w/ it. :)) jumped in bed, gazed at my pictures on my dresser, got up, and went through my album under my night stand until i was satisfied with a load of memories. :) ;) By then it was almost 9pm and so i made a quick phone call to my one teacher, whose line was busy, and then said my prayers for the night and hopped back in bed saying goodnight to my pictures..:) :P I went to bed with all smiles with the exception of my dear sis/ best friend and her troubles..

before all that, however, i got new highlights, aburn ones, and I had dinner at my aunts and got a chance to have a short chat with my dear Nedda..:)
and at this moment, this very moment, i'm thinking about Miss Carlson and her job at camp and wondering if miss Yancer will actualy be at camp this summer.. I really hope she will...I really want to start new from last year and maybe allow our frienship to grow. :))
This weekend is my speach at Church!!! I'm ready for it. the excitement is over but i still wanna do it to hopefully get some positive reactions out of it. Pray for me and wish me good luck!

Just to make u feel good Post

I wanna let ya'll know i love ya very much!!! Esp. Nedda! ;) Tonight I got my hair done. It has aburn highlights and i will hopefully post a picture sooner or later. my cam isnt working at the moment..:( sigh..

Katie: i am sorry bout your loss... ::HUGS::

Ummn.. oh yes!! SOME VERY EXCITING NEWS!! I've been expecting a call from miss Denise, the new camp director, and i'm hoping to get a job this year!! I don't care what it is!!! I'm excited to just work there!! it'll be great!! :))

oh yes, there is a very dear friend of mine who is having some struggles at school and her religion, so i ask u to pray for her. She is jewish and the kids at my school are not being really all that pleasant to her.. Word's getting around and soon its going to take affect. The last jewish kid we had, who was really nice and cool, left for private school cause ppl were doing really mean things to him..:(( They're ppl too you know!!
anyway, i'm gonna go..
loves to Jeremy, Frank, miss Katie, Doll and Emily S.Y.!! xoxoxoxo miss u all!