An Emotional Wreck?

so maybe, i, myself have become an emotional wreck. I started to tear up over a comment. I dont think THAT is normal. I miss Katie rediculously much and the first thing i say in the morning while walking out of my room is "i miss katie carlson" which isn't cool all in itself. This place gets me emotional, i think and makes me miss some people more than i thought i ever would miss them. And the boys, what can i say about the boys... I stay away from them (with the exception of chuck,Dan,Cody and Peter) as much as possible and even give some the cold shoulder. And then there is Drake. I dont even know what to say about Drake. He makes me fustrated because he won't talk to me and he gives me one word answers and wont open up anymore to me. My class is nice but some of them are just gossipy more so than public school and i hate that. Others think they're too good for you. I don't know. I miss being able to sit down and talk to my close friends either online or on the phone and listening and comforting. I want to be able to be there for LBG and others like i said i would. I would drop everything if i could do it that easily here and spend the rest of the afternoon talking to one single person and helping them do whatever. I miss that tramendously. I miss having the time to journal and have alone time and be able to sit and talk with God at any moment of the day. I miss having the friends around who say "hey!!!" when they walk by you in the hall or something and are excited to see you. I could have and probably eventually will just sit and cry for no reason at all today/tonight. I feel emotionally unstable yet as strong as the incredible hulk in the same sense. I am strong enough for two but when alone i can't hold myself up. thats kinda how i feel... And i'm also kinda torn in whether or not i should move out of rm. 12 and leave the roomie i have now or not. I feel a pull that i should stay but i'm afraid if i stay i will be very unhappy. I don't want to argue with my roomate every morning and during work and not have some alone time. And if i move out thers that question of will she absolutely hate me if i do it (which is likely) and then that will make me feel horrible.
I miss hanging out with Emily (cousin) and just talking about life and camp and influences and getting through it and supporting eachother and borrowing clothes and just going over to hang out and get away and have fun. I miss having adam around trying to prove some kind of point and debate everything that is said in his presence. I miss remembering our inside jokes and talking about how great the people in our lives are and how they have effected me/us. I miss being able to be hugged and just held or just hug emily and comfort her and not have a second thought about it. You can't just go up to people who are having a rough time and hug them and tell them its gonna be alright and listen to their problems- it just doesnt work like that here. They'd think i'm some sick person who needs to be put in a straight jacket. I miss that one on one connection with people and just talk. I miss a lot of things i guess... And i wanna cry but that'd be pointless. There isn't privacy where i can just crash and think things through and talk to God about it all and work it all out and in the end just say thank you God and i love God. Its not like that. I am starting to get this feeling where.. nevermind lights out is now.. more later maybe..