Just sitting around today...I slept most of the morning... its 3:35 and I'm waiting on my angel and if she doesnt show I want to call her but I think she's fine... One more day is passing by and I am still waiting on my pictures to be picked up... :( I want to get them scanned so i can send them to Dolly and put them up on the web..
I woke up once around 2:30 this morning to find my camera on the table but other than that I went looking to see if I had any luck at finding someone.. I'm dying to ask her if she got the card I sent out during camp.. and I know she wont get her package until maybe this thursday...
I really wanna give my friend a call but then again I don't... lol
Nothing else new here... Loaded up some more pictures late last night if anyone cares to look! Gina sent them to me yesterday.
Sunday, July 31, 2005
Saturday, July 30, 2005
ehheheehe soo great!
Thanks to the Wonderful Gina B. I have more pictures!! All pictures are posted up on webshots with the exception of my own and the wonderful brad's!! When mine come home and when he gets his computer unpacked and when he's settled the rest of the photos should be online!! Great lenghts for Dolly and Em man!!! hehehehe
loves! xoxoxoxo
nikki
loves! xoxoxoxo
nikki
Friday, July 29, 2005
Spiderman!!
Spiderman and Gina sent me some awesome pictures today and yesterday! They will or should be up online by this evening or tomorrow!
Do you remember what I said about me doing anything for DOlly?? I hope so!!
WEll anyway, on friday afternoon, after the advanced ride (i think i was..) and I was teasing sophie and Ryan. They must have decided to throw me in the trough.. I don't remember exactly how it went down but the first time I went in I ran away, screaming you didn't get me wet!!! oh! I remember!!! I got sophie wet with a cup of water and all week long i was spraying Ryan with my water bottle!! Chasing him doing this! So they threw me in, but didn't get me wet so decided to throw me in again but i refused to get in to bucket of water.. But then.. this is where Dolly came in.. ryan says, For Dolly will you?? Gotta live up to my word you know? So they ganged up on me and threw me in and shuved me in!!!!! Gina got a picture just so i could prove i WOULD do anything! AFter Whisper was drowning in it, after all the horses snot was in it and I think sophie was in it earlier in the week. :))
This afternoon I went out to the post office and sent a VERY IMPORTANT package out and hoping it will be there by next week.. I thought i should send it by boat just because it sounded cool but it would have taken much, much longer... 4-6 days it should be.. And I'm hoping the other mail reached its destination this week since it seems like I didn't 'contact' this person all week long.. :'(
This evening I had the wondeful oppurtunity to chat for a short time with Jenny.
And I've been waiting patiently to find an email from Brad but still have found nothing.. :(
Do you remember what I said about me doing anything for DOlly?? I hope so!!
WEll anyway, on friday afternoon, after the advanced ride (i think i was..) and I was teasing sophie and Ryan. They must have decided to throw me in the trough.. I don't remember exactly how it went down but the first time I went in I ran away, screaming you didn't get me wet!!! oh! I remember!!! I got sophie wet with a cup of water and all week long i was spraying Ryan with my water bottle!! Chasing him doing this! So they threw me in, but didn't get me wet so decided to throw me in again but i refused to get in to bucket of water.. But then.. this is where Dolly came in.. ryan says, For Dolly will you?? Gotta live up to my word you know? So they ganged up on me and threw me in and shuved me in!!!!! Gina got a picture just so i could prove i WOULD do anything! AFter Whisper was drowning in it, after all the horses snot was in it and I think sophie was in it earlier in the week. :))
This afternoon I went out to the post office and sent a VERY IMPORTANT package out and hoping it will be there by next week.. I thought i should send it by boat just because it sounded cool but it would have taken much, much longer... 4-6 days it should be.. And I'm hoping the other mail reached its destination this week since it seems like I didn't 'contact' this person all week long.. :'(
This evening I had the wondeful oppurtunity to chat for a short time with Jenny.
And I've been waiting patiently to find an email from Brad but still have found nothing.. :(
Thursday, July 28, 2005
Ditto that!
| How You Life Your Life |
 You seem to be straight forward, but you keep a lot inside. You're laid back and chill, but sometimes you care too much about what others think. You prefer a variety of friends and tend to change friends quickly. Some of your past dreams have disappointed you, but you don't let it get you down. |
| You Are 40% Weird |
 Normal enough to know that you're weird... But too damn weird to do anything about it! |
| Your Power Color Is Gold |
 At Your Highest: You are engrossed in passions that mentally stimulate you. At Your Lowest: You seek thrills and neglect what's important in your life. In Love: You see dating as adventure and approach it with an open attitude. How You're Attractive: You passion for life makes others passionate about you. Your Eternal Question: "Am I Having Fun?" |
is this really me??
The Keys to Your Heart |
You are attracted to those who are unbridled, untrammeled, and free. |
In love, you feel the most alive when your lover is creative and never lets you feel bored. |
You'd like to your lover to think you are optimistic and happy. |
You would be forced to break up with someone who was ruthless, cold-blooded, and sarcastic. |
Your ideal relationship is open. Both of you can talk about everything... no secrets. |
Your risk of cheating is 100%. You are not suited for a monogamous relationship. |
You think of marriage as something precious. You'll treasure marriage and treat it as sacred. |
In this moment, you think of love as commitment. Love only works when both people are totally devoted. |
| Your Hidden Talent |
 You're the type of person who can turn a whole room around. The potential for great leadership is there, as long as you don't abuse it. Always remember, you have a lot more power over people than you might think! |
| You Should Learn Chinese |
 Surprised? You shouldn't be - Chinese is perfect for an ambitious person like you. You're a natural entrepreneur, and a billion people are waiting to do business with you! |
| Your Blogging Type is Unique and Avant Garde |
 You're impulsive, and you'll often post the first thing that pops in your head. Completely uncensored, you blog tends to shock... even though that's not your intent. You tend to change your blog often, experimenting with new designs and content. |
| Your Career Type: Social |
 You are helpful, friendly, and trustworthy. Your talents lie in teaching, nursing, giving information, and solving social problems. You would make an excellent: Counselor - Dental Hygienist - Librarian Nurse - Parole Officer - Personal Trainer Physical Therapist - Social Worker - Teacher The worst career options for your are realistic careers, like truck driver or farmer. |
| You Are a Frappacino |
 At your best, you are: fun loving, sweet, and modern At your worst, you are: childish and over indulgent You drink coffee when: you're craving something sweet Your caffeine addiction level: low |
Passing By
The day quickly slipped past me as i sat at my desk and lyed on my bed talking with my beloved Emily Y. As the day advanced we started to bond even more than before, in a way starting from scratch.- Sharing some thoughts and sorting some mishaps out. The Emily I wanted to know was starting to form before my eyes. Shaping the sensitivity and getting to know her reactions to certain cituations. I spent my day laughing at comments she typed into the window and then close to crying at others.-not in a hurtful way but the depth it took me to. I am glad I had the oppurtunity to meet her. Emily G. said it must have been destined for Dolly not to come and that is what God wanted. She and I agreed if Dolly would have come the chances of us actually getting into her cabin might be slim and the chances of us both knowing Emily would be even slimmer. I shared several things and to each one she was in no way hurt, as far as I could tell. I can go to a greater length with her and say things that I would never had thought would actually leave my mouth and she seems to be totally fine with it. I am glad to know that much! I'm thinking if it were not for sunday morning we wouldn't have grown soo much today. Once again I am at loss for words to describe how I feel in the right context. From around 8 this morning going on 4:30 this afternoon we have been talking and getting to know eachother, but no in the sense, for example, our favorite color, or best friend or relatives. deeper than that. (I suppose)I do not care what her favorite color is or for her past or any of that. Thanking God once again!! A lot lately he has brought me to new people to share my love with and my care for them. I don't know how he plans to use me and I do not know if he is now but I do know he must have given me friends or soon to be friends like these ones for some reason.
Yes, Emily where Ever you are out there I do love you!!! I'm getting to know you more and more as the day progresses! I don't know why I miss you but I do.. I guess I miss being able to torment you with love and being able to cling to you (every now and again...No matter how much u torture me or what you say I'll love you!! the past weeks are over and even though we bring them up it doesn't matter to me too much what was done.. I'm just glad to talk to you!
Yes, Emily where Ever you are out there I do love you!!! I'm getting to know you more and more as the day progresses! I don't know why I miss you but I do.. I guess I miss being able to torment you with love and being able to cling to you (every now and again...No matter how much u torture me or what you say I'll love you!! the past weeks are over and even though we bring them up it doesn't matter to me too much what was done.. I'm just glad to talk to you!
Wednesday, July 27, 2005
Three Days
Three days have passed and I am still waiting here at my desk for Thursday to come so I can develop my film and send out a very imporant package.
I received an email shortly after I got home from Giant and the UPS store today and found that it was from my dearest Emily. For three days I have been thinking of her and not much of anything else. In her letter she told me about the days she spent cleaning up around the camp and the activities planned for staff appreciation day. I was very happy to come home and find an email from her, and a long one at that! :D:D I don't ever find long personalized emails in my inbox. :))
I miss so many things at camp but mostly some staff.- Including, Emily, Katie, Tara, and Shelley. Its amazing what two weeks with these people can do to you!
These Last three days have beeen the longest three days in a while.
I received an email shortly after I got home from Giant and the UPS store today and found that it was from my dearest Emily. For three days I have been thinking of her and not much of anything else. In her letter she told me about the days she spent cleaning up around the camp and the activities planned for staff appreciation day. I was very happy to come home and find an email from her, and a long one at that! :D:D I don't ever find long personalized emails in my inbox. :))
I miss so many things at camp but mostly some staff.- Including, Emily, Katie, Tara, and Shelley. Its amazing what two weeks with these people can do to you!
These Last three days have beeen the longest three days in a while.
Tuesday, July 26, 2005
How I miss it
The sudden rush, the burst of energy and the feeling of flying free! At first at a slow walk but then up ahead is a small stream, what to do? Afraid of water, taking a leap over it coming right back into a steady walk, but then a hill with many rocks. I feel her beating faster for her urge to go, to let the reigns loose from her. And off she goes! First in a cantar but moving quickly into a gallop. The steep incline is over now but not too long to go before I am free once again. galloping beneath the over hanging trees, dodging low branches and moving swiftly around sharp turns, leaping over puddles, feeling free to gallop away from all the horrors of life. My heals are down and my back is straight, telling my horse to go! Go as fast as you can! But nothing ever lasts and soon after I am back on the road again, back in a straight line walking toward the camp where the stable is. I am late for Dinner, but I don't care. I would have missed it altogether if it weren't for such a term as Code Red. I ride her into the arena then taking a nice trot around the ring to settle her down, then going into a steady walk back to a post to tie her up. I slide off the left side, my legs not quite steady. Knowing it is over I unleash her from the rope and walk her into the third stall on the upper level of the barn. I am far too late now.. I want to untack, brush and congradulate her, then setting her free once again into the pasture. But only I will be going through that pasture right now.-heading up a large incline to the Lodge where food awaits me. The freeness has disappeared and the speed will not return until the following year, maybe.... I long for a horse such as herself. Trained inside and out. My friend has done well with her spending days and nights working her to perfection, and perfection has been met.- to my standards. She can run, but knows when to and when not to, she can feel the rush in me wanting to let go for her and going as fast as we can, her technique in running is wonderful, perfect bounce, steady beat, and doesn't walk like a girl showing off her butt (majorly). She does not stand one 3 feet instead of four and she can keep her attention off of flies and such while she has a passenger aboard. The horse I long to have! I wish to be up in Corry, PA where all the horses are.
Everything else is quite a blur, except Emily and the love I gave to many of my friends. The package I recieved at line call on a tuesday, the excitement and joy that entered my day immediantly. The concerned staff member who thought I went insane, the camper who thought I should get a paper bag and the friends who were sitting beside me laughing! Laughing because they have never seen someone so happy to revieve mail and the fact that I was about to fall out of my chair. I miss my Emily and Katie very much. I miss my Amy, Gina, and Jen R. also very much. I wish I could spend more time with all of them getting to know each one better as well as growing in my relationship with God. Being amongst people who share the same belief. Being around people who love you for who you are and aren't afraid to show affection. Aren't afraid to say the wrong thing and are quite happy to be with you.
Everything else is quite a blur, except Emily and the love I gave to many of my friends. The package I recieved at line call on a tuesday, the excitement and joy that entered my day immediantly. The concerned staff member who thought I went insane, the camper who thought I should get a paper bag and the friends who were sitting beside me laughing! Laughing because they have never seen someone so happy to revieve mail and the fact that I was about to fall out of my chair. I miss my Emily and Katie very much. I miss my Amy, Gina, and Jen R. also very much. I wish I could spend more time with all of them getting to know each one better as well as growing in my relationship with God. Being amongst people who share the same belief. Being around people who love you for who you are and aren't afraid to show affection. Aren't afraid to say the wrong thing and are quite happy to be with you.
Monday, July 25, 2005
Sunday, July 24, 2005
Struggling to keep my eyes open...
It's Just not the same...
This year at camp was extremely boring to me... And every time I turned around I would think of my one and only, Dolly. Everything I did a memory would from behind my eyes. And because I thought of her soo often I think my councelor started to feel unworthy of her position and felt as if she would never be able to live up to Dolly. I assured her that I loved them both the same and that even though Dolly couldn't be replaced nor could anyone be as great as she is to me I still loved the councelor I had.
I don't want to be harsh but most of the week I felt as if Emily, my councelor, wanted to do with me. She wanted me in her cabin even though we "faught". She faught with katie C. to get me too... When She would "torment" me it seemed cool to her i guess but when I did the same to her she made me feel horrible by saying things to make me feel guilty or something. Then When I go to make up for it she pushed me away. a couple of days ago was the first day she actually was nice but I think it was because she was soo exausted from the night before. ( she had spent all night long preparing for the dinner the next evening. But I must say by the end of the week we became much, much closer.
As for camp itself I had to change my classes several times. from bball to nature and from horses and... something else to scrapbooking.- that was for teen. For JRII I had gym, scrap and horses but we didn't really get to go on a real ride.. :'( But i did get to take a short ride on friday! :D:D
On friday of last/this week it was a pretty emotional night for me. After the skit we went to our little camp fire circle and we sat around there with eachother and support staff as the smoke smothered us. We shared some troublesome times and stuggles we had through out this year. But as I listened with my eyes closed each person grew more and more on me and my part became even larger. The girls had discussed their parents' affair's impact on them, self imamge and other family and school related issues. One of the support staff said that when she had something she wanted to get out she would go to her brother even though he had something to say for everything and wasn't all that comforting. Then she went on about how people say that they understand or they know what you mean but then they really don't. That's when I started to really think... Not just letting words from in my head but putting a little bit more meaning to them.
So I'm lying there thinking, trying to put my feelings into the right words without bursting into tears or sounding cheesy or making everything focused around myself. But when it came around to me to speak I still didn't know what to say so I took a deep breath closed my eyes and said the first things that came to me. After I was done speaking I couldn't keep the tears from sliding off the surface of my cheeks. So I broke... Like a vase filled with water. I thought about how every single time I need someone, Dolly and/or Laura would be right there by my side. I know they didn't always understand everything but they were always with me comforting me and when I was away from either one of them I couldn't and wouldn't be able to keep my mind off of them, especially Dolly. I thought about everything Dolly has done for me and how she could very well be a real angel and that God sent her to me to have someone to love and cling on to. I once again realized I REALLY WOULD do anything for her whether it be being dunked in the water troft or dying for her I would happily do it. I felt, even though so very far away, that I was loved at that very moment and I could freely return that love without any regret. She has definitley done more for me in this past year than any other person/human being has done for me in my entire life. She has helped me become closer with God, with my friends, family and people i care about. And everytime I would talk to her or share something that meant the world to me she would be right there listening to every word I had to say, picking up every little detail no matter how small and showered and showers me with love and is caring to my sensitivity at times.
I just went on and on going in circles thanking God for the great friend and angel he has sent me and longing for the day where we all can be togher in heaven with my dearest and closest friend I have.
This year at camp was extremely boring to me... And every time I turned around I would think of my one and only, Dolly. Everything I did a memory would from behind my eyes. And because I thought of her soo often I think my councelor started to feel unworthy of her position and felt as if she would never be able to live up to Dolly. I assured her that I loved them both the same and that even though Dolly couldn't be replaced nor could anyone be as great as she is to me I still loved the councelor I had.
I don't want to be harsh but most of the week I felt as if Emily, my councelor, wanted to do with me. She wanted me in her cabin even though we "faught". She faught with katie C. to get me too... When She would "torment" me it seemed cool to her i guess but when I did the same to her she made me feel horrible by saying things to make me feel guilty or something. Then When I go to make up for it she pushed me away. a couple of days ago was the first day she actually was nice but I think it was because she was soo exausted from the night before. ( she had spent all night long preparing for the dinner the next evening. But I must say by the end of the week we became much, much closer.
As for camp itself I had to change my classes several times. from bball to nature and from horses and... something else to scrapbooking.- that was for teen. For JRII I had gym, scrap and horses but we didn't really get to go on a real ride.. :'( But i did get to take a short ride on friday! :D:D
On friday of last/this week it was a pretty emotional night for me. After the skit we went to our little camp fire circle and we sat around there with eachother and support staff as the smoke smothered us. We shared some troublesome times and stuggles we had through out this year. But as I listened with my eyes closed each person grew more and more on me and my part became even larger. The girls had discussed their parents' affair's impact on them, self imamge and other family and school related issues. One of the support staff said that when she had something she wanted to get out she would go to her brother even though he had something to say for everything and wasn't all that comforting. Then she went on about how people say that they understand or they know what you mean but then they really don't. That's when I started to really think... Not just letting words from in my head but putting a little bit more meaning to them.
So I'm lying there thinking, trying to put my feelings into the right words without bursting into tears or sounding cheesy or making everything focused around myself. But when it came around to me to speak I still didn't know what to say so I took a deep breath closed my eyes and said the first things that came to me. After I was done speaking I couldn't keep the tears from sliding off the surface of my cheeks. So I broke... Like a vase filled with water. I thought about how every single time I need someone, Dolly and/or Laura would be right there by my side. I know they didn't always understand everything but they were always with me comforting me and when I was away from either one of them I couldn't and wouldn't be able to keep my mind off of them, especially Dolly. I thought about everything Dolly has done for me and how she could very well be a real angel and that God sent her to me to have someone to love and cling on to. I once again realized I REALLY WOULD do anything for her whether it be being dunked in the water troft or dying for her I would happily do it. I felt, even though so very far away, that I was loved at that very moment and I could freely return that love without any regret. She has definitley done more for me in this past year than any other person/human being has done for me in my entire life. She has helped me become closer with God, with my friends, family and people i care about. And everytime I would talk to her or share something that meant the world to me she would be right there listening to every word I had to say, picking up every little detail no matter how small and showered and showers me with love and is caring to my sensitivity at times.
I just went on and on going in circles thanking God for the great friend and angel he has sent me and longing for the day where we all can be togher in heaven with my dearest and closest friend I have.
Saturday, July 09, 2005
Going to camp!! I'll be sure to get in contact with one of the most important people on earth while I'm there!!! I promised i would try not to talk about my dearest dolly for a WHOLE WEEK!!! Of course unless someone asks, which is more than likely! ;) :P Anyway, I'm glowing!!! :P ;)
Sending my farewells out to yas! my new jersey!!! I gotta make a few phone calls and I'll be back at my grandmothers! :D:D:D :(((((( I'll miss you dolly!!!
Sending my farewells out to yas! my new jersey!!! I gotta make a few phone calls and I'll be back at my grandmothers! :D:D:D :(((((( I'll miss you dolly!!!
Friday, July 08, 2005
This is a picture of Emma and I tickling adam to death!
We got a little worn out so took a break...
I think this was yesterday that Emily and I were going through our stuff that we got at walmart and repacking my stuff while she put her first picture into her bible!! And of course it had to be dolly!!! Same bible and soon the same picture of her will be in my bible..That's as soon as I either get more ink for my printer or I go back to walmart or Giant and get it copied...
Such a mother! :( :P ;)
This is all my clothes!!! All of them for camp!! It was spread all about my bed!
Sunday at 9am I will be leaving for Blue mountain Academy and will be catching my bus at 11am. This leaves me only 2 days to send my fairwells once again and calculate what can be spent where and how much. It leaves me 2 days to clean my room, possibly Chat with Jen and possibly go to church(I am still debating whether or not i want to..). As of thus far i have a list of....5 to do things while I am at camp. These 5 things are very, very important and I will make it a point to have them done before I leave. Today my plans are to stay close by my computer and clean my room, possibly give my dog a nice grooming and get my money sorted out before sabbath. While the thought of cleaning my room is on mind I ought to leave a list of thing of dos and don't on my computer desk so my mom clearly understand if she is to sleep in my bed while I am away She is to make my bed while I am gone as well as to clean up after herself and there will be no eating in my room at all unless it is at my computer desk. And anything she leaves out she will be recieving some complaing when I return. My carpet is not to be dirty and if she wishes I would very much appreciate her turning off my computer, dusting around my desk and keeping all her paperwork in a file or back in its proper home. She is not to run any updates of any kind either. Also I am in hope to find all my writing untensils back in its home when I leave and I hope they will stay there until I return. No one else is permitted in my room unless it is Dolly, kaylee or Emily. Anyone else will have to ask Emily for permission, that is when she returns. She is, as usual, someone who i allow to have any belonging of mine as long as she lets me know she has it or has had it. She is the only person welcome in my room and on my settings and she may do as she pleases. Trust me she knows all of this!!! :D:D:D
as for my dogs they will be taken care of by either my brother or my mom and Tiger, my cat, will not be allowed in my room at all and she will know that she is not permitted! :P she obeys most of the time! She even used to protect my food from the other animals! it was quite cute! :))
Wednesday, July 06, 2005
Well I'm back in Pa for those people who didn't figure it out yet. I miss my auntie already it's kinda funny!
I've started to work on my pictures and i've transfered about 29 pictures to a CD just a few moments ago so i can take them in to be developed tomorrow. I'm hoping to be able to put some pictures up on my wall too while i'm there at camp. :)) U don't even have to guess who of!! :P And until we get the AC fixed i'm pretty sure I'll be down at my grandma's every night because its soo hot in here its unbearable. I'm sweating just sitting here.. I am sweating more now than i do in gym!!!!! :O :P
Tonight i'm going to try to do some reading, organize my pictures and find out how much I can spend and what on. :D I will need to send out that one rose thing then but i dont know if i can right now. I mean i could but it can wait! :( :)
So I'm going to go in a few minutes!! I have an icepack on my computer so it doesnt over heat too! :D:D 4 days until camp.... I'm not too excited though.. It's just not going to be the same when dolly isn't going to be tehre and I know it.. :(( I wish she could come visit LLC for a few days. That would be the best! and then go home with me! :D:D:D:D that'd be even better! I know when I get back home I need to go see miss Jen before school starts and the whole rush starts with ppl wanting me to do thing with them. Jen and Dolly and then everyone else. (that's if Dolly can come home and C me..) such a dream! a wonderful one at that!!!
Speaking of my angel i FINALLY got two short songs from her!! thank you Dolly!!! ::HUGS::
I've started to work on my pictures and i've transfered about 29 pictures to a CD just a few moments ago so i can take them in to be developed tomorrow. I'm hoping to be able to put some pictures up on my wall too while i'm there at camp. :)) U don't even have to guess who of!! :P And until we get the AC fixed i'm pretty sure I'll be down at my grandma's every night because its soo hot in here its unbearable. I'm sweating just sitting here.. I am sweating more now than i do in gym!!!!! :O :P
Tonight i'm going to try to do some reading, organize my pictures and find out how much I can spend and what on. :D I will need to send out that one rose thing then but i dont know if i can right now. I mean i could but it can wait! :( :)
So I'm going to go in a few minutes!! I have an icepack on my computer so it doesnt over heat too! :D:D 4 days until camp.... I'm not too excited though.. It's just not going to be the same when dolly isn't going to be tehre and I know it.. :(( I wish she could come visit LLC for a few days. That would be the best! and then go home with me! :D:D:D:D that'd be even better! I know when I get back home I need to go see miss Jen before school starts and the whole rush starts with ppl wanting me to do thing with them. Jen and Dolly and then everyone else. (that's if Dolly can come home and C me..) such a dream! a wonderful one at that!!!
Speaking of my angel i FINALLY got two short songs from her!! thank you Dolly!!! ::HUGS::
Monday, July 04, 2005
Suprise, Suprise
My two weeks here In Maryland are over and I barely took any pictures. Mostly of the horses and my aunt but that's about it. I should have taken pictures of Jimmy's icecream but I don't think I had my camera with me.
We were supposed to do lots of things while I was here but a lot of that changed during the course of time. Like yesterday, I was supposed to go to the museum but the day before she totally forgot about it and decided she wanted to invite some friends over for lunch. Both Saturdays we went to southern maryland and rode the horses. Not very eventful... and during the week I took care of the apartment and my grandma along with getting tortured by my uncle for two days or so.. One of the days we went to Jimmy's Ice Cream and one of the other days we went to a diner on the way home from Southern MD. There's Carmen we went went to... Fon duo resturant and a sushi rest. and I think that's about it.. :) I really wanted to go to the museum but it just wasn't fitting into the schedule and plus it would be much more fun with someone who could actually do some explaining with the things i'm looking at.
So when I get back I need to go to Emma's, pack, get a bible for her, go get dots with emma(find dots) Go to the library so i can finish more than a mistress, find out my insurance company, and look for a new allergy pill that my insurance covers. Then or before all that I'll load all my pictures up to my computer.
And right now i have to get some laundry done, go to the bathroom and.... get packing to go home..tootles!! I love you Doll and Jen!!! XOXOXOXO Love you Kaylee!!!
We were supposed to do lots of things while I was here but a lot of that changed during the course of time. Like yesterday, I was supposed to go to the museum but the day before she totally forgot about it and decided she wanted to invite some friends over for lunch. Both Saturdays we went to southern maryland and rode the horses. Not very eventful... and during the week I took care of the apartment and my grandma along with getting tortured by my uncle for two days or so.. One of the days we went to Jimmy's Ice Cream and one of the other days we went to a diner on the way home from Southern MD. There's Carmen we went went to... Fon duo resturant and a sushi rest. and I think that's about it.. :) I really wanted to go to the museum but it just wasn't fitting into the schedule and plus it would be much more fun with someone who could actually do some explaining with the things i'm looking at.
So when I get back I need to go to Emma's, pack, get a bible for her, go get dots with emma(find dots) Go to the library so i can finish more than a mistress, find out my insurance company, and look for a new allergy pill that my insurance covers. Then or before all that I'll load all my pictures up to my computer.
And right now i have to get some laundry done, go to the bathroom and.... get packing to go home..tootles!! I love you Doll and Jen!!! XOXOXOXO Love you Kaylee!!!
Sunday, July 03, 2005
1,2,3 I can count!
Well this would be my 3rd post and this time It's going to worK!! The first post I decided to keep as a draft because I didn't want to offend anybody by my opinion. The second post i posted but it never showed on the website and this will be my third post!
Right now my side panel doesn't seem to be coming up.. :'(
I'm sorry but i give up on writing the same thing again...I do not feel like writing it again..
I think i'm loosing this game.
Sometimes life is unfair. Why does the night haunt me?I'm stuck in awakeness. My brain is an insomniac. God damn won't somebody help me? I'm so sick. Sick from this fucking world turning to quickly. It's going by to fast and i can't let it go.
Today was the most adjitating day of my fucking life. I just wanted to escape. I felt like whatever i did wasn't good enough and i wanted to be with someone who would act like nothing i did was a mistake. My mom and my sister and my life and everything just feels confusing when all i have left is writing and sleep. I can't even sleep so writing is it. Writing is like the way out for me. My escape, my happiness. I just can't think clearly right now because i'm so tired. I hate being tired because everything feels like a mess. When i wake up in the afternoon tomorrow, i'm going to be so much better. I can feel my eyes drifting and it is so disgusting. My body can't even stay awake for itself to breathe. I wish i could pull an all nighter and stay up for a week straight. Maybe i could do it if i were around people who make me happy and don't act like retards. That would be fun. It would be madness though, because everyone would get tired and become assholes. Thats the only thing i really truely hate about being so tired you can't think straightly. You end up saying stupid shit and you know it's wrong but you just feel like you had to say it when all you had to do was forget about it. I'm mumbling on and i know it but it's all worth it because i feel like i'm accomplishing something for some very unknown reason. I think i need to go to sleep now... maybe some music will help me fall into it.
I sing it one last time for youthen we really have to go you've been the only thing thats rightin all i've done.
I don't think we are all that different after all...Oh by the way this is what a friend of mine wrote in her blog and I thought it was a little interesting since I'm "different" (people say). This isn't soo different- we all have our moments of doubt, curiousity and ect.
Right now my side panel doesn't seem to be coming up.. :'(
I'm sorry but i give up on writing the same thing again...I do not feel like writing it again..
I think i'm loosing this game.
Sometimes life is unfair. Why does the night haunt me?I'm stuck in awakeness. My brain is an insomniac. God damn won't somebody help me? I'm so sick. Sick from this fucking world turning to quickly. It's going by to fast and i can't let it go.
Today was the most adjitating day of my fucking life. I just wanted to escape. I felt like whatever i did wasn't good enough and i wanted to be with someone who would act like nothing i did was a mistake. My mom and my sister and my life and everything just feels confusing when all i have left is writing and sleep. I can't even sleep so writing is it. Writing is like the way out for me. My escape, my happiness. I just can't think clearly right now because i'm so tired. I hate being tired because everything feels like a mess. When i wake up in the afternoon tomorrow, i'm going to be so much better. I can feel my eyes drifting and it is so disgusting. My body can't even stay awake for itself to breathe. I wish i could pull an all nighter and stay up for a week straight. Maybe i could do it if i were around people who make me happy and don't act like retards. That would be fun. It would be madness though, because everyone would get tired and become assholes. Thats the only thing i really truely hate about being so tired you can't think straightly. You end up saying stupid shit and you know it's wrong but you just feel like you had to say it when all you had to do was forget about it. I'm mumbling on and i know it but it's all worth it because i feel like i'm accomplishing something for some very unknown reason. I think i need to go to sleep now... maybe some music will help me fall into it.
I sing it one last time for youthen we really have to go you've been the only thing thats rightin all i've done.
I don't think we are all that different after all...Oh by the way this is what a friend of mine wrote in her blog and I thought it was a little interesting since I'm "different" (people say). This isn't soo different- we all have our moments of doubt, curiousity and ect.
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