Strict Study Hall 2

Can I scream and cry for joy? Emily yancer and Katie both came to see me last night during study hall! My three favorite people in the world I saw in two days!! Never would I have thought that could and would ever happen. My dearest yancer took so many pictures I felt like I was at a photo shoot in my semi-pjs. And yet, she didn’t want to be in any pictures herself! Silly girl. We didn’t do much of anything except for me hugging them both almost through the entire time period they had stayed. They were here until a little around 8:30 and I was utterly thrilled. My poor roommate has put up with me this week and all my crying and screaming and everything and I honestly don’t know how she has lasted. Dude, I saw all three of my favorite people!! How often does that happen? I’m way excited to get pictures printed! Dude as soon as they are sent to me I’m going to try darn hard to get them on CD and get to Wal-Mart to print them out! And as for Dolly, I hope she comes home to my house to see me! (Hint, hint dolly) I need soo many more pictures I didn’t take nearly enough! AND, Dolly, you could meet my cousins and my grandmother and we could go for a walk over to their house and have loads of fun! There is so much I would love to do in the little time you are home! You have really no idea!!

EMILY, KATIE, DOll, I love you!!!!



FYI both puters are down so I'll have limited, very limited computer usage until i do return. Unless my a miracle I get one.

A Strict Studyhall to Remember

Dude, I STILL can't believe it! Waking up this morning I contently smiled this morning but had to slap myself just to be sure that i indeed wasn't dead. (And I still don't believe it.) I've been waiting for yesterday to come for two years and never thought it would come, much less while I am at BMA as a student. Dolly people!!!And she told me I didn't have manors! :P Dolly, I DO have manors! :)) So anyway, I saw her before Nase and yea.. anyway, sprained ankle, no shoes and all i ran from downstairs puter lab to the adbuilding. and even BEFORE i got in the adbuilding i was screaming. Her hair gave her away soo fast! I could see it from outside the adbuilding through a window! So, no, i didn't cry like I had when i first found out that she's in the states but i screamed! Of course not like anything i had done also the day before but still... Dolly loves me! She came to see me!! Heck yes!! This is crazy! talk about the worlds best xmas present in the history of the universe much less the worlds happiest little girl! I can't forget about the rest of the reasons why this is the best xmas! I saw katie and her dramatic change from cowgirl to prep. and got hugs from her. My xmas is complete. I have to just figure out how this whole, "yea i'll come home with you and stay there," is going to work because i leave tomorrow and wont be back around until Doll leaves. The question is when would this happen before you leave and before i come back. I dont even know how to describe how i am feeling other than content. I could say that I'm happy, but that doesn't describe it. I could say extatic but that isn't how i feel either. I'm content because she came home to see me and it felt just normal (yet it was far from it). it felt like we've been doing this everday for the past two years and even before she parted for Poland. this is craziness! Its impossible! (...there is no such thing as a sexy picture of me!) All i want to do for the rest of the day is be in my bed and be content. Nothing else.. maybe finish watching memoirs of a geisha...

ok so right about now, is where my day couldn't be any worse. I'll tell you what i WANT to do. I want to go crawl into a tiny, empty space in my closet, close the door so its nice and dark and cry. My ankle is sore, i made myself walk, i had to get up out of bed who knows how many times. Last night after hurting my ankle, Nikki couldn't do anything for me when i went to the office and i was late for studyhall, shelly gave me grief and I still had to work that night (which didn't happen) Before leaving for the piano recital I got an ace bandage. When i got to the sanctuary and found a seat, Mericel put the ace bandage on. Talk about pain. Tears filled, and I was in soo much pain i couldnt even get my vocal cords to work to scream even if I wanted to. So, walking from dorm to building back to dorm and then back to building again was fustrating. It wasn't the pain that made me upset it was how slow i was that bothered me. I wasn't able to clean my room last night because of my tiredness so that had to be put off and i am usually not a messy person at all. I can't even stand a little dust! After my 5th period class, the first thing i hear come out of my roomates mouth when she returned from home, is grief because i left the bedroom door unlocked and the lights on and there wasnt any water left in the room. My geometry teacher made me angry too. I had walked down there, with an ankle in pain, to find out if i could get a worksheet because i had missplaced mine. He opened the door to assist another student and closed it on me and walked away when i was right there. I stood there, motioned for roxy and Lazar wouldnt let her. I motioned for Lazar and he ignored me although he saw me. I had to walk back up to Shofner's class, emptied handed. Then when i did have geometry class he closed the door on me and walked away again before I could get in the room. The bell had just finished ringing so i was late. I told him before i left the classroom the first time that i needed to go to my locker to get my book. So he closed the door, i stood there for a moment and then turned and limped away stopping at the music door entrance, thought what i SHOULD do and decided to proceed to the office and let attendance know that i was present in class. Talked to mr. Hannah, mr. Hannah talked to Lazar and I was back in class. All through this i was in pain. now for dinner and carrying a pack of water back up to the room. :)
oh and i suppose i forgot to mention that i've stopped talking to dolly until she comes home which makes me all the more miserable (not that miserable but it still adds up) ;). and was told today to suck it up ( my ankle). I'm on a mission to be better before homeleave. Ice, eleveation,compression, rest..RICE
love you katie! thinking of you!

You must worship Christ as Lord of your life. And if you are asked about your Christian hope, always be ready to explain it. 1 Peter 3:15

God has given you a whole new life--and a great message to share with people who do not know about Jesus. So make sure your message matches your lifestyle!

A complete and happy world

Well, to make everything SOO SOO short, because mainly i have a report to finish, Katie came Friday night. Dude, i was looking for her for a bit over a 1/2 hour, but wasnt too bad. I only walked around in circles only a million times. :)) Anyway, i just wanted to tell ya'll how extremely happy and thrilled I was. I had forgotten how very, very, VERY, VERY,VERY much i missed that girl, miss Katie Carlson. For a long while i hadn't missed her, hadn't even thought of her. OK so now i have to go and do real typing. This was just my warm-up.

Patience is a Virtue

In one day, maybe a little less by now, all the unionites that i haven't seen since July are coming home for christmas break and I'll be among the many who get to enjoy the presence of these people. On Friday, Mindy, the ever so dearest Mindy herself is visiting but that is just what i heard. So there is nothing for certain there.
Messiah weekend is this weekend and i've actually attempted to practice and for the first time in a while i cut my nails to the point where I can efficiently play my viola. OH and another thing, i'm dropping viola lessons and i'm going to start cello second semester. But, in reality i'm not sure if that's what i'm going to do. But if anything, i'll be dropping lessons. I very much dislike having to make sure i have a certain amount of min/hours in per week. It's truly a pain.

and then... there's dolly the beloved... Yea, she's most likely not coming home and if she is she'll be accompanied. But she tells me to trust her, so yes dolly, i am trusting you. In what I don't know but i am.

So anyway, i'm going to go to lunch now. I hope there's something good or i'm coming back to make myself a pot of rice. :)) yumm...

Yes, a person is a fool to store up earthly wealth but not have a rich relationship with God. Luke 12:21

Thinking that wealth can make us happy is foolish. Only a right relationship with God brings fulfillment and joy in this life--and treasure for the life to come!

You know who you are

maja znajomy,
kiedy pan przyjdzie znowu? Can i miss you?! ( i hope i got it all right) kocham cie!! I'll be waiting and waiting and waiting.. hopefully as patiently as possible. anyway, know that i love you MORE!!!! always and always and always!!! WITH ALL MY HEART! I'm trusting you! Be good LBG.


so in a world the rest of you understand, i posted more pictures on webshots and i have changed my myspace and i made my cousin one... well, i started one for her. its her and not her at the same time. i will eventually find when i want for her.

So i'm home for the weekend. i went to church today and was up before 7am too! I thought of Katie yesterday more than i have in the last at least two months. I have started to miss her again too. I'm excited for the unionites to come home for their xmas break. period.
In other news, i got a very sweet email from a teacher who had uplifted my spirits and i'm unimaginably thankful for that. It had been the first positive think i've heard in a good while. God knew i needed that. So thank you to you wherever u may be at this moment. which is prob. in bed like most normal people at 11:30pm. I'm also trying to pull all my grades up and get ahead again. Dude, i barely have time to breathe, much less eat or anything else. My roomie and I both have been getting headaches. I'm dangerously sensitive to light some days and looking at pages with words or anything that makes me look at it hard= headache. I think part of it has been sinus headaches though because i've discovered they arent as bad when i take sinus headache stuff. ok so now i have to go.. its 33 after. i have to finish xmas shopping yet tomorrow.

loves to ya'll

dans freshly plucked eyebrows! dan i'm sorry!!! i had to! at least for Katie!

And we can be confident that he will listen to us whenever we ask him for anything in line with his will. 1 John 5:14

Start praying with confidence!

Everyone will know that the LORD does not need weapons to rescue his people. It is his battle, not ours. 1 Samuel 17:47
When you are tired of life's battles and you feel you can never win, remember that the true victor in this life leaves the battle in the Lord's hands.

Time

Time has always been preacious to many people in the business world and in the world of most highschool and college students. But since when has time been that precious in friendships as it is valuable to those businessmen/woman. Every spare 15minutes could mean getting a huge project done or getting off DFI. Many people spend roughly 48hrs a week. Those few extra minutes could mean promotion or spending sundays on a blan, bare hall doing school work that could be done some other time (like studyhall)
But in friendships and relationships with family, time has hardly been valued and when it is, its due to a tramatic health-related issue with someone close and dear to the heart. Even then, time spent with the people who are cared about doesn't last long. A lot of times in order for people to realize that the people in their life are the kind one only meets once in a life-time and aren't replacable - even if they have a twin- they need a 9/11 or a death of a relative or something.
How much is it to take maybe 5 minutes to tell someone they're being thought of or that they love them. Love means time, even if its even five minutes. It could mean the world a difference for them later. To hear that someone cares about you could take your day to something pointless to something worth smiling about. Yea, ok you tell someone all the time u love them, but there is no such thing as over using it. The day you neglect yourself of spending time with friends or family or anyone is the day they will need it most. I can almost guarantee it.
We spend so much time focusing on our studies and keeping our grades up and everything else as if that is the most important thing to us. Is that the most important thing? What do you do with your time? your spare time?

without me
someone else will sit in my place
-very similar to me they will be.
there will be events- happy ones-
and many pictures of places i loved,
though will never see again.

the colors they recall i never took for granted.
every one, drank as i could.
moonless nights i think how i miss her,
and could never forget her lightshining on you.
Copyright ©2006 Dorothy Ann Porawski

am i allowed to be angry and happy and miserable all at the same time.Maybe miserable is too strong of a word. I'm should be angry at myself and not at another person(maybe let down) because i let myself get my hopes up when there really wasnt a 100% when it was just a 99%. I'm rather quite happy because i saw Emily C. twice in the past couple weeks and i'm happy that Liz is back to her normal or even happier self. I was really a little worried and was praying for her over homeleave about i'm not sure what myself. I'm miserable or just blahed about realizing how antisocial i really am or at least can be. I'm also kinda unhappy about my morbid side/self surfacing again for unknown reasons.
it makes me smile to hear of Emily Yancer in some form of her writings. Something about her makes me want to go play in a field of daisies and cherish the simple things. Someday i think i'd want to meet a mini version of emily and have her around all the time, especially if i become a teacher.

ok i'm going to stop not having a life and go do something else that makes me procrasinate. that doesnt include rec.



*101 ways to procasinate*

Since we are receiving a Kingdom that cannot be destroyed, let us be thankful and please God by worshiping him with holy fear and awe. Hebrews 12:28

When you're tempted to let your grumpy mood take over your mouth, remember there are many reasons to give thanks. You belong to God, and nothing can take you away from him!

Ok so, my deary donut girl and I are contemplating the appearance of a new blog as of soon... shall we?

I will walk in freedom, for I have devoted myself to your commandments. Psalm 119:45

What is the pathway to freedom from the entangle- ments that sin and guilt bring? Devotion to God and his commands! Now is the time to secure a victorious, free future for yourself. Lovingly and wholeheartedly pursue God and his Word!

This is my new favorite picture!

good times!! Dancing on the bus, nothing better

Attention

updates on webshots!

My Mrs. Thompson

>

You are amazing and always will be an amazing teacher to me and have changed me in subtle but very impacting ways. You had been by my side through my three years with you at jr. high. I was talking of you several days back and how i spent some of my lunches with you just talking about life and its happening. Also how, even after i had graduated, I come back to still visit every one of the seventh grade teachers who influenced my life. Some day after I graduate highschool you will find a note under your door instead of a visit- just maybe. Because i dont think i could just leave a note. I think hugs in person would do much better. ;)

And still I am impressed by your heartfeltness and truthfullness. The fustration put into your job because you care about your kids and you WANT them to WANT to learn and have fun and get good grades. even though sometimes you need to be hit in the head in order for you to remember the reasons you teach and why you havent quit or given up.

• You teach because of the light bulb that goes off when a student gets it.



• You teach because of the "wazzz dat?!?" ;)



• you teach because there are children out there who need the love and guidence from somebody outside of their home and you can give it to them.



• You teach because you want your kids to realize their potential if they just TRY!!!

I admire your teaching because of the things you do off the clock and off the job description and the positive attitude you have (most of the time ;)) I admire your friendship because when it gets down and dirty you lay it out straight up and still give comfort in it. I admire you because not only do you teach with passion but you try darn hard to reach the kids you have and treat them like humans, not just some brat for a kid or a screw up. yea you get fustrated and angry and overwhelmed but in the end i KNOW you're going to do what it takes.

I dunno boutcha' but i'm thankful for ya! Happy birthday!

" They hugged each other, and dr. stoddard whispered in mrs. Thompson's ear, "thank you, mrs. thompson, for belieiving in me. Thank you so much for making me feel important and showing me that i could make a difference."

Note to self:

Three words that discribe me. Yesterday these three came to mind:


The Missunderstood intense choleric

Prayer Requests:

Angie
Pray for me on the tests i have today. I have tests in all subjects today.
My lil bro
my roomie
Emily (all three)
Keri and rest of ppl traveling.
David Crowder
All students in Western Civs.

And I can't hold it in!

I'm SOO EXCITED!!!!

actually, not just this one thing (in the near future) i'm excited about but over homeleave i am keeping my hopes up to go visit Ali, and bob and matt and Rachel (kenjo). I haven't been to their house in forever!

For the last few days i have had this pushing to go actually visit A. Shofner to see how she is doing and give her an uplift with a hug and big smile. After long procrasination, I finally went today and i am very glad I did. Going to see her has been screaming in my head for days and nights and I finally went. She really is a sweet person. I can see it and it can't be denied. ;)

What else..not much.. i had major, MAJOR chest pains on sabbath but now they are little subtle things again. i want to get ahead in all my classes over homeleave and i have a buttload of practicing to do.. and i think ppl are in need of the puter. plus its 9:28 so i have to run

My health may fail, and my spirit may grow weak, but God remains the strength of my heart; he is mine forever. Psalm 73:26

Our bodies grow older every day, and we inch closer toward death each time we draw a breath. But even as we grow weaker, God is our constant sustainer. His strength never falters.

What can I do when I’m ridiculed for who I am or for my belief in God?
People ridicule what they don’t understand or what they wish they had themselves. David experienced this when his son Absalom tried to take his kingdom away (2 Sam 15).
Feeling the fire of opposition? Check out this advice from 1 Peter 3.
First, your best defense is a quiet offense: 'Don’t repay evil for evil. Don’t retaliate with insults when people insult you. Instead, pay them back with a blessing. That is what God has called you to do, and he will bless you for it' (1 Pet 3:9).
Second, quietly trust yourself to Christ (1 Pet 3:15). You trusted Christ to be Lord of your life; now allow him to be Lord over your circumstances. God is trying to develop your character.
Third, be ready to explain your faith when the opportunities arise (1 Pet 3:15-16). Don’t be afraid to admit that you don’t have all the answers.
Even doing all of this still may not relieve the tension. But, 'it is better to suffer for doing good, if that is what God wants, than to suffer for doing wrong!' (1 Pet 3:17).

Love you Dolly! i miss you too too much! i'm remembering that 99% sure!

What can I do when I’m ridiculed for who I am or for my belief in God?
People ridicule what they don’t understand or what they wish they had themselves. David experienced this when his son Absalom tried to take his kingdom away (2 Sam 15).
Feeling the fire of opposition? Check out this advice from 1 Peter 3.
First, your best defense is a quiet offense: 'Don’t repay evil for evil. Don’t retaliate with insults when people insult you. Instead, pay them back with a blessing. That is what God has called you to do, and he will bless you for it' (1 Pet 3:9).
Second, quietly trust yourself to Christ (1 Pet 3:15). You trusted Christ to be Lord of your life; now allow him to be Lord over your circumstances. God is trying to develop your character.
Third, be ready to explain your faith when the opportunities arise (1 Pet 3:15-16). Don’t be afraid to admit that you don’t have all the answers.
Even doing all of this still may not relieve the tension. But, 'it is better to suffer for doing good, if that is what God wants, than to suffer for doing wrong!' (1 Pet 3:17).

Love you Dolly! i miss you too too much! i'm remembering that 99% sure!

Yesterday's post i decided to delete because, mainly because, the reactions to it may be mostly because of what it was saying basically and the response to those would mainly be based upon the cry. get me? i hope so.. so read it or not yea.. but i thank one person because she sent me an email. She always has. Or should i say, since the parting in July. And i appreciate that because she means it. so that is good. So thanks for that chica! ::hugs::

::out::

Create in me a clean heart, O God. Renew a right spirit within me. Psalm 51:10

Spiritual renewal comes from God alone; we cannot manufacture it ourselves. We must depend on him to change our hearts and lives. Ask God to give you the refreshment and new life your spirit needs

Let your roots grow down into him and draw up nourishment from him, so you will grow in faith. Colossians 2:7

Those who put their hope in God will grow strong. Don't fear the periods of drought in your life; trust in the Lord. He will help you grow through the bad times.

Never too busy

OK so maybe I will be a little busy this weekend. Tomorrow, Friday afternoon my mom is coming up and my lil bro is coming up and we are going to go out for an early dinner. And i wish she could stay for vespers but she doesnt like driving in the dark. But anyway, this is how it goes. I am probably working desk this weekend, working Janitor, Gina is coming up to visit so i'm visiting with her a for a little bit, setting for for senior rec. and taking down and such and the gettys ppl are coming up too so i'm going to go on a hunt for them. It really doesnt seem like a lot when i list it out though.. but it feels like i'm going to be booked.

Anywho real quick I miss my darlin' Kaylee Bretz and i hope to see you sometime in the near future (over thanksgiving break?!)
and sending my love out to ms. porawski!!

Spotting a Fake

A tree is identified by its fruit. Figs never grow on thornbushes, nor grapes on bramble bushes. A good person produces good things from the treasury of a good heart, and an evil person produces evil things from the treasury of an evil heart. What you say flows from what is in your heart.
Luke 6:44-45



The British Museum in London received an ancient artifact, a painted rock, in 2005. Titled “Early man venturing towards the out-of-town hunting grounds,” it featured animals, a man, and a curious tool. After being on display for three days, the museum removed the artifact from its exhibit. It turned out that the “curious tool” painted on the rock was a shopping cart! A notorious hoax artist was responsible for getting it into the museum, where it remained until experts realized the piece was a fake.

People have the ability to show a certain personality on the outside while being something different internally. And just like the museum’s “artifact,” one’s outward personality can be seen as legitimate if concealed well enough. However, there will come a time when something—a phone call, a speeding driver, a crisis—will expose the person’s true identity. The hoax-life will be revealed. Unless our outward appearance matches our inward appearance, we will be exposed for who we are inwardly. Jesus said, “A good tree can’t produce bad fruit, and a bad tree can’t produce good fruit” (Luke 6:43).

Likewise, a person claiming to know Jesus as Forgiver and Leader should not go around berating or threatening his or her coworkers. These attitudes diminish one’s potential witness for the Lord, giving those who don’t know Jesus “valid” reasons not to believe him. Sooner or later our outward appearances will drown out our inward claims. We should be doing our best to exhibit Christ in the most positive light we can. Otherwise, our words and actions will be revealed as hypocritical.

Let’s be real—to ourselves, to others, and to God—and help others to be the same. That way, the only inward thing that will be exposed is the Lord we love and follow.

Then Jacob tore his clothes and put on sackcloth. He mourned deeply for his son for many days. Genesis 37:34

When Joseph's brothers sold him into slavery, his father, Jacob, was devastated. But he didn't try to hide it. Allow yourself the freedom to feel sad when it is appropriate, and be honest with God about your grief.


A lot of days i appreciate these devotional thoughts and today was most definitely one of them. :))

I have an adopted brother! ;)

Since he himself has gone through suffering and temptation, he is able to help us when we are being tempted. Hebrews 2:18

What temptations entice you? Picture Jesus in your shoes. How would he respond when offered the chance to cheat, to stretch the truth, to look at pornography? Ask him for help. He identifies with your struggle.


Which is more important, living like a Christian or telling others what I believe about God?


Try to remember the best gift you ever received. What did you do after you opened it? More than likely, you called your best friend to tell him or her about it.

Forgiveness from sin is the greatest gift you will ever receive! It is impossible to keep quiet about it if you truly recognize how important this free gift really is.

Check out the story of the four men with leprosy who discovered the empty camp (2 Kings 7:3-15). All of their enemies were gone! They couldn’t wait to share the good news with everyone.

The choice for the four men with leprosy—keeping their discovery a secret or telling others about it—probably was tough to make because their disease separated them from other people. But they didn’t hesitate to make their choice.

Our sin is like leprosy. We cannot always tell its effects, but left unchecked, the 'disease' gets progressively worse. But forgiveness is the antidote for this disease. Our response in thankfulness to God could cause us to tell all who will listen!

How can you claim that you have faith in our glorious Lord Jesus Christ if you favor some people more than others? James 2:1

Our God doesn't use social status as a measuring stick. Instead, he looks straight into the heart. Will you imitate him?

rambling- my own little world

I felt like blah today. I feel like blah now... I finished the article due for phys. ed. and i'm ahead in science class and all that is left is bible homework to do. I don't feel like doing it. I want to sit next to the fireplace at home in my comfy redish chair and snuggle up next to my kitty and read a book.- a good book, not some crummy book that has to be read for class.

i'm thankful today for the cool and chilling breeze that God sent today and it helped me stay alert. Two days in a row things havent been crazy active and i'm happy for it because i got to talk to God some more and i enjoyed it. It wasn't anything intense or soul searching, just talking and it felt gosh darn good.
I looked at the sky today and was thankful for it. I felt the cold breeze today and was (oddly) happy for it. I walked into the deans office today to see Keri on duty and was happy for her (and the fact she was on duty which turned out to be mostly alana at desk=)) , although she is sick. (get well soon) i snuggled with Mericel last night for a few minutes and was happy to have friends who come around when you need a hug. I'm thankful for Cody's wonderfully warm hugs that also make me happy. I'm happy for the nerds all together because they are soo wonderful and i'm they're in my daily life. I thought about far away friends today and was thankful for them and i prayed for them to find their way and not over stress and to get enough sleep and to remember to keep Him first in their lives etc, etc.
God has put wonderful people and things and events in my life and has comforted me with them and i am quite contentfully happy with that too. :)

Oh and ya know what else? i had FOUR HOURS of free time, i didnt have 3rd period class (english) (hurray!!!!) and i didnt practice during any of those four hours!! :'( sad it's true, and its not because i didnt feel like it, it was more like i didnt want to walk those how ever many feet to the practice rooms in the ad building; and that my friends is laziness.
so i thought i'd just tell ya what i was thinking today and tell yas i miss you. ::cough::cough:: Dorota, Emily (s), Jared, James, Gina...

oh and i have been eating granola and drinking (or attempting to drink) a buttload of water. Which later lead to thoughts of a certain blue eyed, blonde, horse rider who LOVES granola and has two union waterbottles and NEVER washes them out. and i miss that person too... I miss your hugs...

and miss LBG, where are you at... its depressing when you aren't around to fill my computer time with smiles. wanna come home soon?!?! i'm ready and waiting u can come any day now! ;)
MORE!

If you are willing to suffer for Christ, you have decided to stop sinning. And you won't spend the rest of your life chasing after evil desires. 1 Peter 4:1-2

Take heed if you decide to stop living for Jesus--sin is lurking around the corner! Pray for the courage to say no to sin, no matter what the cost.

Sleep is a wonderful thing

an hour nap does wonders when you've just returned home from blue mountain and tests have been crawling all over you and the viola has been permanately attatched to your shoulder.

After waking up from that short but very much needed nap i was set and ready to move once again without the help of any caffiene. The nap was long over due and i realized that when i couldnt even read a book i desperately want to finish (and we all know that i love to read and will stay up til 3am to finish one). I'm still under a lot of homework and i want to get ahead while i have the time to. I have all of chapter 9 and ten vocab done and i'm working on the worksheets for them now. As soon as that is finished i think i'll move back to the PE projects that will be due when i return. I found an article that is at the very least 3 pages long and i need to read it and write an analysis on it. And then.. I'll be working on something like a personal narrative about my dad and so far its entitled "the unforgettable" and thats all the further i've gotten. I really would like to put forth some good heartfelt effort toward this but i fear if i do i'll be emotionally drained by not even 1/3 of the way through. BUT it will be healthy for me in the long run, hence making it an assignment for me because otherwise, i will avoid facing some realizations that i feel will come about during this assignment. so wish me luck on that.
My homework awaits me and is calling my name and i will not socialize on the phone until it is all finished. AND i will not read " searching for a God to love" by chris blake until it is all done and organized and i am satisfied. Glasses on, books papers open and pencil in hand- Diven back in!

There's a flag flying high...

I SAW..... I SAW... I SAW MINDY!!!!!! MINDY JOSHNICK!!!!!!
Megan the dear person she is says that i have to go see the dean and i'm like huh? i dont believe you. What could i have possibly done wrong now... ok so then i go despite the not believing her and i see MINDY sitting on the desk in the office thing and.. SCREAM!!!!!!!!!!!!! i dont know how many hugs i gave her but i couldnt even believe she was up from SOUTHERN in TENNESSEE (i hope i spelt that right). she's on break and she came all the way up to see her BMA girls!!!! When she left i was STILL flippin out and i was soo happy i was even crying!! CRYING!! well not sobbing but there were definitely tears coming from my eyes! I screamed and screamed and screamed... in my pillow of course because of this thing called lights out.. yea and i didnt even go to sleep until almost 1am. 3 girls in one little twin bed isnt the easiest thing to accomplish. and they arent little camper girls who are easy to cuddle up with and hold in your arms either. But still it was still cuddly! :))

OH and just a quick thing yesterday i only lasted maybe and hour and 1/2 without smiling. :(( but its ok i think i can accept the fact that i can't smile when either my RA is around or dean Keri is on duty. (besides having ppl visit you who you never expected to see at such an hour!)

oh yea! another thing!! Mindy PROMISED she is coming back today!!

My word for the day :))

obstreperous \uhb-STREP-uhr-uhs; ob-\, adjective:
1. Noisily and stubbornly defiant; unruly.2. Noisy, clamorous, or boisterous.

Doesnt this sound like me sometimes?! Liz here says so... ok.. maybe a lot of times.. ;)

Food For Thought

“My thoughts are nothing like your thoughts,” says the Lord. “And my ways are far beyond anything you could imagine. For just as the heavens are higher than the earth, so my ways are higher than your ways and my thoughts higher than your thoughts.”Isaiah 55:8-9
At once. Now. Immediately. Deadlines.
These are words that come to mind regarding the fast-paced lifestyle many of us find ourselves in. We expect our newspaper to be on the front porch when we wake up. We expect traffic signals to turn green the instant we approach them. We expect a bag of popcorn to explode into light, fluffy goodness in exactly three-and-a-half minutes. But what happens when our desires don’t materialize in what we consider to be a timely fashion? We may experience frustration, grumpiness, possibly even anger.
As one of the fruits of the Spirit, patience is a character trait God desires to produce in us (see Galatians 5:22-23). Yet the only way to really learn what it means to be patient is to experience it firsthand. Patience is an oh-so-gradually unveiled gift.
Noah lived in a time when lawlessness and sin were the rule, not the exception. Imagine his reaction when God told him about his plan to destroy humanity! Picture Noah’s reaction when God told him to build a boat, giving him specific dimensions and directions! Imagine having to wait 120 years to see it happen! I wonder if Noah ever said to himself, “Okay Lord, things are getting worse instead of better. Aren’t you going to execute your plan? After all, it’s already been fifteen years!” Thankfully, Noah learned the lesson of patience, trusted God’s timing, and was spared from the flood as a result.
Our response when something doesn’t happen on schedule speaks to how well we have learned to be patient. Maybe God has something better just around the corner. He will let you know when he’s ready—or perhaps when you’re ready. That’s something to consider the next time you throw a bag of popcorn in the microwave.

my "lets try this"

ok so i'm going to try to mess with this whole beta blogger deal but i'm not quite even sure how to change colors... for the border AROUND the picture..

"That's how much you mean to me! That's how much I LOVE YOU! I'd sell off the whole world just for YOU! Trade ALL OF CREATION just to get you back!!" Isaiah 43:4

A BIG thank you to Kris and dolly!!! I got the package i've been waiting for FOREVER!!
Does it mean he no longer loves us if we have trouble or calamity? I am convinced that nothing can ever separate us from his love. Romans 8:35, 38

It is all too easy for us to feel separated from God, alone and unloved. But God assures us that it's impossible to escape his love, even when we don't feel it.

I love You

No eye has seen, no ear has heard, and no mind has imagined what God has prepared for those who love him. 1 Corinthians 2:9

If you love God, your future is secure. More than that, your future is greater than you can ever imagine! But through his Spirit, God has given us a glimpse of what's to come.

Isaiah 53.3

He was despised and rejected--a man of sorrows, acquainted with bitterest grief. We turned our backs on him and looked the other way when he went by. Isaiah 53:3

Are you facing a time of bitter sorrow? In the Christian life, there may be times of deep rejection. Take comfort--you're following where Christ has already been.

Its not about shunning them

I’ve been a Christian for about nine months. Although I’ve made a lot of friends who are Christians, I still have quite a few who aren’t. Can I still hang out with friends who aren’t Christians? Why or why not?


Find a quarter and two pennies. Place the quarter on a table. Put the two pennies about five inches below the quarter, one inch apart.

Now, pretend God is the quarter, you are the penny on the left, and your friend is the penny on the right. As you grow closer to God (move your penny up an inch or two), what happens to the distance between you and your friend? It gets wider! When only one person in a friendship moves closer to God, that’s what happens to the relationship automatically!

Our closest friends have an effect on our behavior. That’s why hanging around with old friends who aren’t Christians will probably not help you become a stronger Christian. This is the message of 2 Corinthians 6:14. If you spend all of your time with unbelievers, you’ll tend to become like them and not move closer to God.

In the early stages of your Christian life, you need friends who will help you grow spiritually. However, God doesn’t want you to be totally isolated from those who aren’t Christians. If you’re going to be Christ’s representative to those who don’t know him (see 2 Cor 5:18-20), you have to be around them!

"Don't act thoughtlessly, but try to understand what the Lord wants you to do." Ephesians 5:17

Take time to consider the direction the Lord would have you go.

Well, i got through the day and i was overall satisfied. BUT FIRST before i even tell you what i did today I want to give a shout out to Katie Carlson's amazing blog layout/design and its all thanks to the wonderful and magnificant Ben! yes, He has some sick webdesign skills!

.... SO anyway, moving on. I have pretty much ALL my make up work completed and handed in and i am ahead a little in science even!! I Just have to make up two tests; one in science and the other in Math. TOday i even took my vocab and two math quizes and got ahead in the science and handed in almost all my work for science. I really am quite happy about that. I took my World History test today that i really wasn't prepared for. I have one make up assignment yet in that but it can not possibly be that hard. ;) Ok so maybe i lied.. I think i did. SO i don't have ALL my make-up work finished but i have most of it done! I even have had time for meals AND sleep and conversations! it is great really and not so hard. Through out the day today i even thought, 'hey maybe i should do this more often so I actually have work to do and i feel like i'm staying busy and I don't have free time because this is nice" But then another thought came into mind, "if i want to do this all the time, I really MUST be crazy! I think maybe i should TRY NOT to be crazy" SO right now the only fustrations in life is having to deal with the immaturity of just a few of the students- or should i say the hardheadedness and slackingness of these people. It really does irritate me but it mostly only irritates me when it interferes with my studies and I would help and knock some sense into their head if only i had all the patience in the world or more less the social skills and maturity myself to do such.

Actually, you know what my dear readers, for the past few days i have been missing people (as usual) but today i figured hey why not tell you people I actually miss you and i'm thinking about ya'll! So Frank, Jeremy, Katie and Emily (Y and E) I miss having you around and making life joyful and funny and serious and sweet and reminding me of all the little sweet things and the greatness of you guys/girls. :))OH and I miss Denise and yea, shes cool! SHe was up here at BMA while i was AT HOME!!! :'( i was crushed! She AND Gary both!! Completely crushed i tell you.. COmpletely crushed.. ;)
oh yea, when i came back from home I saw the ever so beautiful Jeanna and Liz so i was quite happy! Not to mention Dean Keri! even though she wasn't on duty i was still happy because like i have been saying she makes work soo happy and the atmosphere so happyful! it makes me smile :)) i love it cause every time i see her its like a rush of happiness filling my soul and i just go plow her with my hug and am soo appreciative with her presence. it is really awesome. She is soo funny! definition of ADHD: Keri L.

I'm promise I'm not dead

Due to that long lapse of not being school i most likely wont be blogging anything but anything for a while. my friend Liz said that its not even worth sleeping or eating if u miss more than 2 or 3 days of school work because those things don't exist if u have work to make up. and i missed at least a week and then theres the current work and not to mention a buttload of tests. I'm around though. You might actually see me on messenger but only cause i'm such an addict. ;) I need some kind of social life. ;) so yea.. i'll be alive just wont be posting

Shut-up and Listen

What is more pleasing to the LORD: your burnt offerings and sacrifices or your obedience to his voice? Obedience is far better than sacrifice. 1 Samuel 15:22

Are you trying to win points with God by participating in lots of good activities? Simplify your life. The best way to love him is by just doing what he says.

He loves me THAT much! isiah 43:4

This is real love. It is not that we loved God, but that he loved us and sent his Son as a sacrifice to take away our sins. 1 John 4:10

Do you feel guilty for not loving God enough? Stop to consider the truth that you cannot really love God until you accept how much he loves you!

VENTING: no need to read unless ya wanna know my life story

ok so its 11:30pm and its sabbath and i'm sick and i'm in pain and i'm fustrated and i'm AWAKE. ::insert really fustrated feelings minus the tantrum and potty mouth:: mother dearest the dearest person she is stole my mac card at 11 something while i was sleeping and THEN woke me up to find out my pin number to get who knows what out of whatever amount of money i have which is about 500 right now. she said she needed for propane. first of all its sabbath and second of all whatever she DOES need/want it can wait. but of course that wouldnt occur to her being she doesnt keep the sabbath to begin with. But anyway.. so yea.. basically.. now that i vented to someone i really shouldnt have because she IMed ME. but hey. i'm hoping shes trust worhy. anyway long story short, she threatened me with school if i didnt give her my pin number so she could get whatever and so i ended up giving it to her. cause she knows she can threaten me with things i love and i'll almost instantly do what she asks. it was camp for a long time and it was certain friends and family ppl. but anyway yea i gave her my pin after she had already stolen my mac. did i mention that already? i dont know... is that illegal for my mom to do to her daughter? not only invade her personal items (purse and wallet) but to steal my mac card and threaten me with school in order to get my pin number?! i mean shes already on the account and she has access to the money she just has to wait for it.
but yea... until another day. waiting for monday to roll around so i can go back. :)

God is my one and only

Is There Meaning to Life?


What do you do when you’re bored? A recent Associated Press News Service story mentioned the recreational choice of two teens. Having used the video game Grand Theft Auto 'a means of escaping the monotony of teenage life,' they decided to act it out by shooting at cars. They wound up killing one person and injuring others.

Some choices reveal a sad lack of meaning to a life. Many people wonder whether or not their lives have a purpose. Can you relate? If so, the book of Ecclesiastes was written for you.

The message of Ecclesiastes is brutally straightforward. The writer, Solomon, tells us that he has tried everything life has to offer—wine, women, and song (the ancient equivalent of sex, drugs, and alternative rock). His conclusion is this: 'Fear God and obey his commands, for this is everyone’s duty' (Ecc:12:13). In other words, God gives meaning to our lives. No God, no meaning.

Think of it this way: Without God, you are just a bunch of molecules thrown together by chance. If there is no God, you came from—and are headed toward—impersonal nothingness. Any attempt at finding purpose is utterly doomed to failure. You might just as well be a lizard, or a rock, or nothing at all . . . if there is no God.

Sounds pretty bleak, doesn’t it? It is bleak, if we subtract God from the equation. This belief that there is no God and therefore no meaning is what has driven many, including some of the greatest minds in history, to despair, alcoholism, and even suicide.

The good news is: There is something more. We don’t have to run pointlessly after illusions like a slightly more sophisticated version of a hamster on a treadmill. There is a God who created you, knows you by name, loves you, and wants you to know him intimately. He gives meaning to life as he calls us to follow him in his grand adventure.

If you’re searching for meaning, follow the writer of Ecclesiastes to its source: a lifelong, personal encounter with God.

whatever is typed within this song is all thats getting typed.

I went to the doctor yesterday and the doctor told me i had an ear infection in both ears and an infection in my throat. I got some kind of antibiotic called (for short) Z pack. I'm not allowed to go back to school until Monday, at the earliest.
Today I was most miserable, no lie. I have this lower abdominal pain that is extrusiating. by noon I was in tears from this pain and i couldnt stand it so my mom called the doctor and i had a 1:45 appointment. Dr. Abraham gave me an exam and pressed all over my stomach pretty hard. oh my word.. I told her where i was hurting and when she found the spot and pressed it.. talk about pain.. Tears filled my eyes and i was crying from the pain in a heartbeat. She told my mom and I it might be my gulblatter or kindeystones and i should go to the ER right away and get tests. and the song is over so i'm going..

Living Water for today

If you give even a cup of cold water to one of the least of my followers, you will surely be rewarded. Matthew 10:42

Our deeds on earth merit a heavenly reward when they are motivated by love for Christ. Loving the needy around us pleases God, and we learn how much his heart loves those who are hurting.

A Test of Faith

My grandma has been a Christian for 40 years. Her life has been hard, though. Why would God allow so much trouble to come into one person’s life?


Do you or someone you know work out with weights? If so, you know that the goal of weight training is to develop the muscles and make them stronger. At first, the strain of lifting causes the person to feel weak. In the long run, however, it makes him other strong. Like a muscle, faith grows stronger when it is exercised. (See James 1:2-4.) The book of Hebrews is all about faith—how to strengthen it, how it can help you endure.

One of God’s goals for us is to learn to trust him more. When a Christian asks God for more faith, he or she is really asking for more trials. God knows that only through exercise can our faith be strengthened.

Another reason for hardships can be found in 2 Corinthians 1:3-5. Suffering helps us develop the compassion to help others. Our endurance through trials is very important to God. It allows him to use us to pass along comfort and encouragement to others.

Some Christians are glad that they have few problems. (Can you relate?) But our response to problems helps us to grow.

Does Anyone Care?

He will judge the world with justice and rule the nations with fairness. Psalm 9:8

In his justice he will punish those who persecute you. 2 Thessalonians 1:6


When you feel abused or abandoned, as though no one cares, remember that you worship a God of justice--supreme, almighty, the righteous judge--and he is on your side!

For more information

It's too early to be up today

Its 6:13am. I just wanted to say hi to everyone. School is good. I am still torn whether to stay for next year or not but only because of academics. I am hoping to go to the board soon to state my position and hopefully they will allow me to accel where i would like to.
I miss LBG tramendously. She wrote sometime, i think, last night and i could only smile and wish i were there to hug her and give her all my love as I read her entry early this morning. It is truly a blessing to have friends to love like these and to share my adventures and drama with.
I thought about katie yesterday and some of the amazing friends she has chosen and she too has some wonderful friends. Keri and Angie are two wonderful and very funny light hearted people and they suite Katie well. I see Katie is parts of her friends and i see her friends in parts of her.
well, i just wanted to say hello before i go off for a shower and then for breakfast. yay... yawn...
Happy belated bdays Peter and Melissa

Being faithful

Unless you are faithful in small matters, you won't be faithful in large ones. If you cheat even a little, you won't be honest with greater responsibilities. Luke 16:10

God has a method for determining our readiness for responsibility. Jesus says if we prove ourselves faithful in the small things, God will trust us with greater responsibilities.

More little ounces of Happiness... Which are more like tanks full of it

Today I went to Michaels to do some project shopping, then went to the mall to look for two books both of which i didnt get. But that is not the good part. well, actually it is only part of it. While out, i realized that i was VERY VERY close to my school and i could stop there to say hello to all my teachers. :)) Which, my mom knew would just make my day. So after shopping, we left the mall around 2:48 and went to the school. The first person i went on a hunt for was Mrs. Wentz herself but i came to find out that she had already retired at the end of last year. (Which i should have remembered. I knew she was retireing, i just didn't know when exactly)Next came Ms. Kessell my old gym and health teacher who was really cool. She was sadly not there but on a sick day..:(( I saw mrs. Fodness, my middle school math teacher for two years coming down the hall and she had stopped to talk to someone else, on which i took the advantage to run back into the gym where she couldn't see me so i could possibly sneak up on her. That didn't work out too well but i think maybe she was happy to see me nontheless. I didn't even get far, not even finishing my hello when I saw Ali coming down the hall arms open and tears swelling on the bottoms of her eyelids, waiting to just burst. This, folks, touched me deeply. I didnt know, at the time, that she didnt know i had left for BMA but she was told after i had left already for BMA and left her a message on her machine a while ago. But anyway, Ali and I greeted eachother with a long and overdue hug. Oh, it meant soo much, she really has no idea. The hug was so loved felt i thought I, myself, was going to cry because i had forgotten i had missed her so. I wanted to leave her for a moment or two to go run to all the other teachers. the next one being The very mr. little, my FAVORITE, my absolute favorite guy teacher on the planet whom i look up to because he is a soldier who had gone and come back from iraq. OH i could have just burst into tears at that moment. I could have just been in awe over actually seeing him in person after such a long time. He is a remarkable teacher and i wish there were more like him. The very next person i saw was mrs. Geistwhite, at i didnt even recognize the person next to her from behind. But i went up to mrs. Geistwhite and said hello and instantly saw the person's face next to her, but she didnt even see me. So i scooted over and gave her my hug. It was nice to see her as Mrs. Morris (former ms. reimer) with short hair. It is a new look. So off to Mr. Bobo because he was in the hallway and i briefly explained my whereabouts to him and how things were. Then i was off to mrs. Umphrey to say a quick hello and then i was off for mrs. Solomon again because mrs. Fod wasn't in her room, which might I add has changed. So on the way i stopped and chatted to mr. Little and explained to him where i was and he asked what i was planning for college and i told him. I told him i was SOO UNBELIEVABLY HAPPY to see him home that i was just.. it just didnt feel real. He really has no idea of my appreciation for him. So after that I went back to mrs. Solomon in search of mrs. Gerb but didnt find her because she was on a personal day and so Ali and I chatted some more and i could have just cried and cried and cried and went home with Ali. Especially after, she told me she had a laptop for me!!! FOR ME!! i was just gonna scream in excitement and hug the pooh out of her!! i contained myself thankfully and was completely speechless. I am STILL speechless. But anyway, what the moving part was is that she was on the verge of tears when she saw me. She kept repeating how proud she was I got into BMA, knowing i really wanted to go there. she asked how everything was at bma and how my homeleave was and how classes were and everything. I couldnt even answer most of them still in shock and still just.. i dont even know. But i really would love to spend a day with her sometime soon. But i would love to tell her about everything that has been going on in my life and get the updates in hers. The last her son told me they were getting the pool in. and She told me today it is in and they are getting the patio in sometime soon. I'm excited to hear about everything. I hope to see her sunday before i leave and i wish she could drive up with me to bma but i know that wont happen. I dont think i could let her be in the car with my mom for 3 hours round trip. Right now i'm so thankful in soo many ways. I feel like i got soo much accomplished and i feel ready to go back to my school now- the bma one. I have seen and briefly chatted with most of the allen staff today and I am quite satisfied. I talked and saw Kris and dolly today which just completed my morning. OH i cant even express my happiness anymore. I saw my teachers today!!!! I went shopping AND i did homework and WAS PRODUCTIVE THROUGHT IT ALL! I got a hair trim, spent time with my cousin, my brother, my dog AND MY MOM! My laundry is done, my aunt is coming up tomorrow to visit, i bought two songs i've been dying to buy, I went to borders even though i didnt buy anything, I got something for my task force dean. I am buying or will buy my mom this really good candle at white barn candle which is a 17dollar value and i'm getting it for $5. Which makes me happy. I downloaded something so i can talk to a certain person online. I downloaded my pictures from BMA... I am soon to make some phonecalls to people. Maybe saturday night. :) OH!!! i SLEPT IN FOR TWO DAYS!!! I didnt go to the doctors but i have come up with a solution for my knee pain so that saved some money. I talked to Anthony and Kyla yesterday. :)) oh oh!!! I LISTENED TO MY DAVID CROWDER and ALL the rest of my music. I feel content with that. So that makes my heart happy. I could explode with all the happiness i have inside of me right now. Praise you God!!! I have amazing friends that i had forgotten how amazing they are! i have amazing teachers that reminded me how amazing they are! I have an amazing computer with the amazing itunes on it that blessed me with wonderful music. :)) I am a VERY HAPPY girl!!

Thank Goodness for You!

I saw two very special people in my life online just moments ago before they went went off to pick mushrooms (yes its weird, i know),and it had just made my day complete. I got that feeling of having wonderful friends who make life fun and interesting and help you through all the rough patches and never leave your side no matter how rough. I was reminded of laughter and how good it feels to laugh with friends and the memories that are made at those very moments and the bonding that occurs in those very moments. Having friends such as these reminds me life isn't so harsh and guys can be sweet and fun and u can love them just like any other friend. In the minute or two i saw these two people, it brought wonders of happiness. I only wish they were always with me and they could be with me while i am at BMA. That is the only sad part. I cannot possibly share my experiences with some of my friends as i want to. I can not just call them or knock on their door and tell them all the great things nor can i just jump online or even wait online for them to appear in my messenger just to tell them i love them and i miss them and i'm thinking about them. but at least we have things called email and blogs and myspaces and post offices!! Thank goodness for those things!

How good it feels to be home

you know, i woke up this morning at 8:30 and still wanted to sleep?!?! I got on the puter for no reason at all just to be on the computer today. I played with my dog and helped my mom this afternoon. I took my little bro down to the bus today and that was a joy in itself. i played with my blog's appearance a bit and messed with the colors as u can see. I really wanted to get orange in it but couldnt get a nice orange in the scheme and make it look kinda nice. Last night i got to go to bed late and with the time i did spend being up i organized my biology folder and typed up vocab. I loaded and messed with my pictures from BMA and attempted to download the new itunes.. What else.. i thought about calling people and ended up not doing it because i was online. I got to talk to my beloved Kryzsiu and Dorothy ann porawski well mostly kris because dolly has been working. i am listening to emily and how i missed her as much as it doesnt seem like it i appreciate to hear her.

What You Give..

Risk- that’s what relationships are all about, aren’t they? Taking a chance on those around you, giving them a piece of your heart, and trusting that they’ll give you a piece of theirs in return?

Give yourself in relationships and see what you et in return.

This is part of my verse reading in Oct. :)

He comforts us in all our troubles so that we can comfort others. When others are troubled, we will be able to give them the same comfort God has given us. 2 Corinthians 1:4

Relationships are deepened when friends help one another through difficult times. We strengthen our relationships by extending the care and comfort we've received from God.


Thank you Emily Y. love u and miss u

Plans for YOUR life

Be glad for all God is planning for you. Be patient in trouble, and always be prayerful. Romans 12:12

God has big plans for you--even if it may not seem like it right now. Even in the worst of circumstances, God has provided a heavenly hope. Keep telling him about your struggles, and he'll keep holding you up.

Out to Union

Congradulations to all the runners/bikers today! A great big hug to all of you my dear friends out there! I'm soo proud! :)) And a special congrats to Miss Santos who is always amazing because she is from G-burg!! You know we are all athletic ppl! ;)

k back to this on for my mom.

Stop It- Living agua

Stop judging others, and you will not be judged. Stop criticizing others, or it will all come back on you. If you forgive others, you will be forgiven. Luke 6:37

It's wise to treat others the way we would like to be treated--with humility, generosity, and forgiveness. Jesus teaches us how to maintain good relationships.

Living water:(note to self) REMEMBER ME

He saved us, not because of the good things we did, but because of his mercy. He washed away our sins and gave us a new life through the Holy Spirit. Titus 3:5

God's great mercy caused him to save you. In spite of what you've done, he couldn't stand living without you! He even gave you his own holiness!

It's pitch black outside at 6:07am and i am up. I'm not a big fan of actually going places this early in the morning but at least i'm up. :)
In other news i talked to Mrs. Moretta yesterday and i'm not moving out as of yet. But this i had made the decision just before i decided to actually pick up my guts and walk to the office. I figured, why not try to actually change this person (if its possible) for the better or at least change a little bit of her thinking so she can more fully understand some things and my perspective and hopefully get us both closer to God. Plus, i reasoned with myself, it'll help me in the long run as well to have the capability to work with people who are more difficult to work with and that will challenge me spiritually as well as challenge me in my social skills. I can work on my 'open mindedness' too. she told me to pretty much over look the things she does/ how she acts cause thats just how she is and isn't trying to be 'mean'/'disrespectful' and i should sit and talk with her when i'm calm and such so i dont blow up in her face or whatnot. Mrs. M must not know be too well because most of the things she DID tell me i knew already. but i still feel a little better that i told her.
AND in OTHER news! I recieved a realish planner yesterday and i felt soo much happier after i remembered how much happiness and organization it brought to my life. I wrote all my assignments down and the things to do and goals to make and b-days that are coming up. My life feels soo much more organized and i feel like i have a grasp on this h/w deal now. it is nice. Especially because i look at my planner so often and in doing so i see things that need to be done and then i get them done and next thing u know it, i have nothing to do!! and i have finished something (or lots of things) and i am satisfied. :)) you know, i can't stand having things hoving over my head to be done. It drives me nuts cause i can't sleep at night knowing there are things that have to get done. Hense the staying up late and getting up so early sometimes. So yea, the office made my day yesterday.


Church seems boring and confusing sometimes. Are all of the songs, readings, and rituals necessary?


Worshiping God keeps us connected to him. In worship we recognize God as the one who is in control and who has the power to change our circumstances and life. (See 2 Chron 20:20-22.)

Jehoshaphat discovered this fact very graphically as he sent the worshipers out with his army. As the worshipers were singing, God miraculously provided a victory!

Worship takes many forms. Most of the songs and readings come right from Scripture. If you concentrate on the meaning behind what is being sung or read, you will see that the words communicate very important facts about God.

Another purpose of worship is to encourage us to grow in our faith. It can encourage us to go out to face a world of collapsed morals.

Ephesians 5:19 was written during a time when Christians were put in prison for their faith. It says that believers should always sing 'psalms and hymns and spiritual songs among yourselves, . . . making music to the Lord in your hearts.' By doing what this verse talks about, believers were able to encourage each other as they reminded themselves of the faithfulness, goodness, and strength of God.

I found this picture on the union site yesterday or the day before. :) so cute! it made me smile. I was hoping to share more photos with you today but i when i hooked up my camera it wasn't located on the computer.

quick reflection

there was a lot of rambling happening in one of the last posts. All of which are true feelings to an extent. I prayed about the moving out deal and i asked God if i should move out, have mrs. Moretta on duty today. And so far Moretta hasn't showed. ok.. i forget what all i was going to say but now i need to get back upstairs take a few pictures of chuck picking pooh out of the shower and then i'm off to the add building to get my bio book.

miss you all

Come Clean

Confess your sins to each other and pray for each other so that you may be healed.
James 5:16



When New York’s Citicorp tower was completed in 1977, many structural engineers hailed the tower for its technical elegance and singular grace. One year after the building opened, the structural engineer William J. LeMessurier came to a frightening realization. The Citicorp tower was flawed. Without his approval, joints that should have been welded were bolted. Under severe winds that come once every sixteen years to New York. the building would buckle.

LeMessurier weighed his options: Blow the whistle on himself. Suicide. Keep silent.

LeMessurier did what he had to do. He came clean. He confessed the mistake.

Plans were drawn up to correct the problem. Work began. And three months later, the building was strong enough to withstand a storm of the severity that hits New York once every seven hundred years.

The repairs cost millions of dollars. Nevertheless, LeMessurier’s career and reputation were not destroyed but enhanced. One engineer commended LeMessurier for being a man who had the courage to say, “I’ve got a problem; I made the problem; let’s fix the problem.”

You may be at that point where you realize your life is like that flawed building. Although by all appearances you are strong and successful and together, you know you have points of weakness that make you vulnerable to collapse. Sin is corroding the very foundation of your life. What do you do?

You come clean, get help, and get fixed.

Confession is good for the soul. When we hide sin, we hide ourselves from others. Like William J. LeMessurier, when we come clean, we can, as James writes, live together whole and healed.

James is not suggesting merely to confess sin to a preacher or a priest. We confess our sin first to God, but we must confess our sin to those who have been affected by our sin as well. It is also beneficial to confess your sins to a trusted fellow believer who can offer a physical reminder of the grace of forgiveness and encourage you to live rightly.

So, confess your sin. Get it out of your heart. Make it right. And, move on.

An Emotional Wreck?

so maybe, i, myself have become an emotional wreck. I started to tear up over a comment. I dont think THAT is normal. I miss Katie rediculously much and the first thing i say in the morning while walking out of my room is "i miss katie carlson" which isn't cool all in itself. This place gets me emotional, i think and makes me miss some people more than i thought i ever would miss them. And the boys, what can i say about the boys... I stay away from them (with the exception of chuck,Dan,Cody and Peter) as much as possible and even give some the cold shoulder. And then there is Drake. I dont even know what to say about Drake. He makes me fustrated because he won't talk to me and he gives me one word answers and wont open up anymore to me. My class is nice but some of them are just gossipy more so than public school and i hate that. Others think they're too good for you. I don't know. I miss being able to sit down and talk to my close friends either online or on the phone and listening and comforting. I want to be able to be there for LBG and others like i said i would. I would drop everything if i could do it that easily here and spend the rest of the afternoon talking to one single person and helping them do whatever. I miss that tramendously. I miss having the time to journal and have alone time and be able to sit and talk with God at any moment of the day. I miss having the friends around who say "hey!!!" when they walk by you in the hall or something and are excited to see you. I could have and probably eventually will just sit and cry for no reason at all today/tonight. I feel emotionally unstable yet as strong as the incredible hulk in the same sense. I am strong enough for two but when alone i can't hold myself up. thats kinda how i feel... And i'm also kinda torn in whether or not i should move out of rm. 12 and leave the roomie i have now or not. I feel a pull that i should stay but i'm afraid if i stay i will be very unhappy. I don't want to argue with my roomate every morning and during work and not have some alone time. And if i move out thers that question of will she absolutely hate me if i do it (which is likely) and then that will make me feel horrible.
I miss hanging out with Emily (cousin) and just talking about life and camp and influences and getting through it and supporting eachother and borrowing clothes and just going over to hang out and get away and have fun. I miss having adam around trying to prove some kind of point and debate everything that is said in his presence. I miss remembering our inside jokes and talking about how great the people in our lives are and how they have effected me/us. I miss being able to be hugged and just held or just hug emily and comfort her and not have a second thought about it. You can't just go up to people who are having a rough time and hug them and tell them its gonna be alright and listen to their problems- it just doesnt work like that here. They'd think i'm some sick person who needs to be put in a straight jacket. I miss that one on one connection with people and just talk. I miss a lot of things i guess... And i wanna cry but that'd be pointless. There isn't privacy where i can just crash and think things through and talk to God about it all and work it all out and in the end just say thank you God and i love God. Its not like that. I am starting to get this feeling where.. nevermind lights out is now.. more later maybe..

Not worth reading

There isn't much to say. I am praying for some friends and i ask that u pray for them too. I had testing today from 1:35 to 5:30pm and there's a repeat of it tomorrow. I still want to decorate my door or do something.. I have homework to do but i dont feel like doing it. I would like to just organize my stuff and sit at the computer (at home) and listen to music AND download more music.
oh there are soo many i things i would like to do but something is stopping me from.
1. I would like to strangle a certain somebody of the male gender
2. I would like to sit and organize all my papers and get 'real' folders and make deviders (which would include quotes and pictures)
3. I would like to take a nice bath (for once)
4. I would like to be able to play the viola well enough to sound 'good'
5. I would like to sleep a whole day or just do nothing.
6. I would love to see some friends (cough, cough, Dolly and emily)
7. I would love to go play with my dog for a couple hours
8. Go horseback riding
9. Read a good book
10. BUY a book i've been dying to add to MY library
11. Give dolly a huge hug and spend time with her (IN PERSON)
12. ACTUALLY DO my h/w
13. talk to jeannette, Laura, and other ppl on the phone sometime soon if not see them in person.
14. Go swimming
15. Go see mrs. Wentz a teacher i had in middle school whom i miss
16. Go to maryland to see some people (cough::cough:: Gina)
17. SLEEP
18. sit and talk to ppl online for one day all day.
19. Go to the post office
20. Recieve a certain package from a certain person
21. and finally go to the mall. :)) i actually miss it.. kinda freaky since i hardly ever go.

Living to Serve Others

For even I, the Son of Man, came here not to be served but to serve others, and to give my life as a ransom for many. Mark 10:45

Jesus had a far different agenda than the world has. He could have pursued personal greatness, but instead he chose to trade his life for ours.

Updates on Bma, yo!

Katie i miss you! i miss you! i miss you!!!! tell me how life is at union! I hope u are getting enough sleep. :))

I am starting to get the flow of BMA although i still miss my old school a lot. I miss mrs. Gonce...:( (dude i need to call laura and jeanette.. ) I miss the teachers there. Mike Shofner is still my fav. teacher so far here. He's fair too and makes one of the most boring classes worth while to listen to. The teachers who can make history class the tad bit interesting need to be applauded because that is a hard task.
on another note, i may be talking to mrs. Moretta shortly because i'm not quite sure if my roomie and I can go a year. we are not getting along very well anymore. WE aren't clicking and i dont think it will happen unless we are not spending every waking moment near eachother. As much as i want to stay her roomie to get the experience i'm a little concerned about my mental well-being. ;) we spend or have spent maybe 70% of the day together but it is becoming less and less so i'm not sure what i'm going to do.It's not a bad thing that we spend a lot of time around eachother but it sometimes is. She's a hard person to work with sometimes and that coming out of my mouth isn't cool. She IS a nice person as long as her needs/wants are being fulfilled. I would rather talk to her about these issues instead of this or ms. moretta but i'm honestly a afraid of her reaction and i'm scared she'll react really harshly and it'll ruin the chance of ever having any kind of frienship.

This morning i had a super tight schedule! i had ensamble at 7 and it lasted til 8 and i start work at 8 and from 8-10 i'm supposed to work and because i came in late (8:06) i needed to work until 10:06 and my first class started at 10:05 today because of sabbath. Between both things i needed to be able to change from ad building appropriate clothes to work back to school clothes. So in the end i was late to both work and to class.
At work i cleaned the basement. My roomie is also my co-worker. She didn't finish her job this morning so i needed to finish her job as well this morning and i didnt know i was going to be asked to do hers too until 9:55 so that was a rush.

We had a spelling/vocab test today and i thought i was ready for the spelling part but i dont think i was. we were already 4 problems into the test when i walked in so i had to catch up fast which wasn't helping me any. But i passed with at least a high B so i'm happy about that. I knew the words she just pronounced them in a way i didnt know what word it was cause i had been saying it different.
and these history quizes. They are kiling me. i'm gonna need to start taking notes on those.. ok.. back to talking to my bestest friend in the world!
i'm out!

Don't give up hope

That is why we never give up. Though our bodies are dying, our spirits are being renewed every day. 2 Corinthians 4:16

Your weakness allows the resurrection power of Christ to strengthen you moment by moment.

i have another blog coming!

Do the Right thing

Do the Right Thing


Justice. You can’t read more than a chapter or two in any of the Minor Prophets without a cry for justice leaping off the pages. Not that it is a minor theme found only in these books. God has sewn a broad thread of compassion for the oppressed throughout the tapestry of the Bible. But here in the books of the Minor Prophets, it becomes a central theme.

Check out Amos 5:24: 'I want to see a mighty flood of justice, an endless river of righteous living.'

Over and over, God told Israel that they were not to be like the other nations; they were to hold to a higher standard. The other nations took advantage of the poor, allowing the wealthy and powerful to grow fat off of their labor. God wanted his people to treat the less fortunate with compassion and fairness. In Proverbs 14:31, God even goes so far as to identify with the poor: 'Those who oppress the poor insult their Maker, but helping the poor honors him.'

Other nations considered widows, orphans, and foreigners as second-class citizens. But in Israel, these individuals were to be treated with dignity. 'This is what the LORD of Heaven’s Armies says: Judge fairly, and show mercy and kindness to one another. Do not oppress widows, orphans, foreigners, and the poor. And do not scheme against each other' (Zech 7:9-10).

We are confronted today with many opportunities to do the right thing. The plight of the homeless, the distress of our inner cities, the suffering of the hungry, questions of racial and economic fairness, the struggle for peace—these and countless other issues cry out for people of courage, compassion, and conviction to stand strong for justice in Jesus’ name. God is vitally concerned for the widow, the orphan, the Somali Bantu refugee, the crack-addicted baby—anyone who suffers and needs help.

Are you?

The little pleasures at Bma

Today while walking out of the Ad building I overheard the principal tell a student that he was needed in the his office for something and the student had said "yes, sir." I continued walking but with a inner smile because of the repsect and courtesy given to everyone especially the staff. This wasn't very common in my public school and when it was heard it was out of mockery or whatever. So on the short trip from school to the dorm i thought about all the little nice things about BMA. I will have to cut this short because worship is in four minutes but... We have bible class here and chapel (which might i say is almost always good) and we have vespers and open home and the students all know eachother and help each other out whenever. Common courtesy is often seen here and there isn't nearly as much "eww, look at that" or talking behind the back deal or 'dissing' the 'nerds' i just love it. its all about respect and politeness and it just gives me butterflies to see it soo much in one area and in one day!

Saints of His and Angels of mine ;)

You have the faith of your mother, Eunice, and your grandmother, Lois. 2 Timothy 1:5

Who in your life has helped you discover Jesus' love? Thank God for these saints.

Thank you Gina, Gina, Dolly, Jenny, Katie and Jeremy for helping me discover Jesus' unconditionaal love for me! Thank you God for sending them my way!

Giving Your Best- Leadership Devo

Giving Your Best

They were completely amazed and said again and again, “Everything he does is wonderful. He even makes the deaf to hear and gives speech to those who cannot speak.”
Mark 7:37



Leaders pursue excellence. They lead their organizations, their families, their businesses, and, in fact, their very lives striving for their best.

Jesus was committed to excellence. God gave his very best—his Son. And, as the New Testament writer Mark reminds us, God’s Son gave his very best—his life. He made the best wine (see John 2:1-11), his fish and bread recipes were delicious (see Matthew 14:13-21), and the limbs he restored were perfect (see Mark 3:1-5). His followers should do no less. Less than our best is inadequate, considering the fact that God has given us his very best.

Martin Luther King, Jr. said, “If a man is called to be a street sweeper, he should sweep streets even as Michelangelo painted, or Beethoven composed music, or Shakespeare wrote poetry.” Whatever our role, our position, our organization, or our lot in life, we should strive for the best. The measure of our success should not be attached to our particular career or what we earn but on our character and what we give.

Excellence does not mean being the best but being your best, understanding that variation makes all the difference in the world. Excellence is being better than you were yesterday. Excellence means matching your practice with your potential.

Some people have fame thrust upon them. Very few have excellence thrust upon them. Excellence is achieved. What will you do to have people say, like they said of Jesus, “Everything he does is wonderful”?

Isaiah 30:15

The Sovereign LORD, the Holy One of Israel, says, "Only in returning to me and waiting for me will you be saved. In quietness and confidence is your strength." Isaiah 30:15

God appreciates the strong, silent type. He wants you to wait on him, listen to him, and trust in him. Have confidence that he will guide you. It's that simple.

Living Water 3

He will shield you with his wings. He will shelter you with his feathers. His faithful promises are your armor and your protection. Psalm 91:4

Although God may not save you from external troubles, he will protect your spirit in the midst of them. In the heat of battle, rest in God's promises and put your faith in his protection.


God is Good
All the Time

inspiration for the day

Dear friends, don't be surprised at the fiery trials you are going through. . . . Instead, be very glad--because these trials will make you partners with Christ in his suffering. 1 Peter 4:12-13

What problems face you today? Don't be surprised; you are a partner with Christ in his suffering. What an honor!

Living Water 1

The master said, "Well done, my good and faithful servant. You have been faithful in handling this small amount, so now I will give you many more responsibilities."Matthew 25:23

Do you desire to be used by God? If you do your best at the job you've been given, God will call you to greater work!

happy sabbath now that it is out! ;)

i had a class party today! it was good but my feet itch like crazy! i know, kinda bizzar but i'm gonna wash them as soon as i get back upstairs!

Shout to Dan!! Your welcome! Our pic from glow is going on my wall as soon as it gets printed! ;)

A shout to Emily E.

SO GREAT to hear from you!! you should send me mail/comments more often!! katie and Emily both have my email so u can get it from them or just comment on here. whatever works. I most definitely WANT to be at Union NOW because all you people are there but i dont want to have to go to classes and not know anything but anything and feel despretely stupid. I am glad u have come to that realization about the pain deal! ;)
maybe a bandaid will help your heart in pain. :))
love you!! you are on my dresser here at bma!!!! :D:D:D you've been there for 3 weeks and you were on my home dresser for maybe a week.
yours truly

Devotional for today!!!

Because now, not only do i read 3 from books i have but i am receieving 3 online!
Trying to be good and not sin seems like a full-time job. How can anyone stay pure? Why would anyone want to?


In 1 Timothy 6:11, Paul encouraged Timothy to 'pursue righteousness and a godly life.' In other words, keep doing what’s right. But some try to seem holier than others in order to be admired or to earn their way to heaven.

Jesus talked a lot about the Pharisees. These men had created long lists of rules that they followed. They wanted to be admired for their discipline.

But in Matthew 5:20, Jesus made an incredible statement: 'But I warn you—unless your righteousness is better than the righteousness of the teachers of religious law and the Pharisees, you will never enter the Kingdom of Heaven!' In other words, you have to have more than just correct behavior. You have to be pure on the inside. This inner purity begins by accepting Christ’s death on the cross as taking the punishment for our sins. When we do this, we take on Christ’s purity. In God’s eyes, we are worthy of eternity in heaven! Now that’s a pretty good deal!

It doesn’t stop there, of course. God wants us to be like Jesus. This is a lifelong process of allowing God to change us (see John 15:1-17; 1 Tim 6:11-12).

A Christian who’s really alive realizes that her eternity is settled. But she also genuinely wants to be more like the one who paid such a high price for her soul—Jesus. Her motivation—and yours—is not to parade her goodness in front of others, but rather to please God.

Just a quick hello

yea, i'm at bma.. life is good here. Things are busy but NEVER too busy to keep up with my email. shoot me some mail.. it'd be nicer if you guys could email me on my bma email.. wait.. i have to find it..i think its like nicolef@bma.us. I'm not sure.. try it.. just send me a hello if anything! it doesnt need to be long or anything.

Like i said bma is nice.. i kinda miss public school though because of the classes there are, i think nicer in the way that i can double up and i dont have to take a while year of it and i can take spanish 1 and i can take psych. this year..

I got my roomie. her name is Casie B.
I have work in the morning- cleaning. then after lunch i my classes go as followed for A days.. gym, bible 10 ( which i really like so far), and bio.
For bdays i have work, english 10, chapel, lunch, world history (not western wanted something easy) and geometry and AA if i make the team.. i'm not keeping my hopes up for that. We had handshake on sunday as it is a custom or something. Justine has music ready for me whenever i get my violin back. :)) i have a few classes with him. I have a class with Chad and cody (seperately). and yea.. i'm gonna go now.. i REALLY WANT to go into the worship room next door and do some reading and writing. I also really would like to do some real writing but i highly doubt that will happen. I need to really push myself to even do that. iight i'm out. lata

love ya'll

From Dolly to Shawn

i have realized how much i am going to miss talking to Dolly. We had an amazingly funny and meaningful conversation and not only did we talk tonight but all week long and i love every single conversation we had. I sometimes forget how much i love someone until i hear from them and talk to them for a little while. And this week i was reminded of how much some of my friends love me- like dolly and Gina and Katie. D, kt and Gina i love u all soo much and wouldnt trade u for anything! know that and remember that!!! You guys are soo amazing and loving and special to me in so many different ways.
I am going to miss talking to Hrabia too.. I am going to miss laughing and smiling and just talking to him before he goes to bed.. I'm going to miss all my online people and drake and reading james' entries.. i dont know about other blog entries.. i might find time to do so..I dont know if i 'll miss my lil bro shawn.. in some ways i will but not enough and i wont miss him like when i was at camp.. i dont know what i was thinking when i said i missed him cause he treated me like crap when i got home!! and look, he just spit in my hair...

Dolly, i will be thinking of you all the time while i'm at bma. I will look for the candle. I will pray for you and your safety. I will pray every night as always that God will be your number one and that u will rely on him more and more. I will pray that not too much drama will come your way and if u get overwhelmed by all of your troubles u will turn to him and open your heart and mind to new possibilities. I love you dolly!! The whole world knows it!!! If YOU Need ANYTHING email me!!
and that goes for all ya's!! if any ya's need anything let me know and i'll try my best to be there for you. :) as always! Kaylee, i'm talking to u too!

Farewell for now, i am off to BMA early tomorrow. I will still try to update. we will see. my next homeleave is sept. 20-24. I will miss you guys!! really I will!!

Last day!!

Its my last day before i Go to BMA!!! and guys, before i even left i got a package from some amazing people!!!! Let me inform u of its contents. there were 2 letters, a great mix including Third day and jars of clay, a BEAUTIFUL t-shirt that said I love nikki and a note on the back of it :)), and cookies!! COOKIES!!! yea!! right?!?! it was GREAT!!! THANK YOU Peter, Liz, and Justine!!! I'm even more excited to see u all to give ya'll hugs!!! yay!!!!! THAT was the highlight of MY day!!! Great i tell ya!

So, I think we have a slight issue with getting everything packed into a little tiny car as well as the pastors son's stuff. I have A LOT OF stuff! So here's my plan, I will only take the things necessary. Pictures, clothes, bedding, and food!! ;) its just my cheese!! "cheese is mold under duress" - Emiliy E. ok and.. wheat thins!! and.. tea and cup a soup.. i think maybe my cheese can wait until registration because i just got a fridge too from my grandma Harriet. I will bring all my cleaning stuff later and the fridge and cheese can wait for now.. my bottled water is a must because water is good for you! ;) and flavored water is even better! ;) :))

iight well i'm tired of sitting here at the puter.. again.. i just wanted to let everyone know about my excitement of recieving that suprise package!

A lot of 'i got to's'

i'm outta here on Friday morning to head off to BMA. I feel like i'm ready because i've talked to all the people i wanted to before i left and i sent my thank yous to others. I've talked to dear katie AND spent the summer working with her. Emily Y. visited at camp this summer and altho her stay was not long and we did not spent much time together i was happy to see her 'breathing' again and not soo busy. I FINALLY got to talk to Dolly and send my love out to her and just talk. I spent what 2 weeks with my cousin and survived came home and spent more time with her. I got to watch my little cousins for two days. Did i say something bout Katie? but I got to spend time with Katie this summer- enough said. :)) I had the oppurtunity to be responsible and do things myself and take charge which i hardly ever do because of fears of bringing conflict which i think in the long run helps leadership skills. I got to talk to my dear Ginas :)) and get some Gina lovin. :)) I said my farewells to people. OH! i got to see alex and Keirsten AND Jen Raimondo all this summer! AND all summer i managed not to be overwhelmed with lifes drama and i'm proud of myself for that it is quite an accomplishment being a fisher. ;)

OH OH!!! i spent time with my auntie and my aunt!! AND i went and saw taledega AND Step up! both good movies.
there was so much i got to do this summer i am happy and satisfied. :)
i'm out

tis Mel lookin at my pictures! btw all these pix were on sabbath last weekish.. isn't it great!?! 

its Tara!! love ya chica! 

"How To Clean Bathroom Commode"

Cruel but funny!
1. Put both lids of the toilet up and add 1/8 cup of pet shampoo to the
water in the bowl.

2. Pick up the cat and soothe him while you carry him towards the bathroom.

3. In one smooth movement, put the cat in the toilet and close both lids.
You may need to stand on the lid.

4. The cat will self agitate and make ample suds. Never mind the noises that
come from the toilet, the cat is actually enjoying this.

5. Flush the toilet three or four times. This provides a "power-wash" and
rinse."

6. Have someone open the front door of your home. Be sure that there are no
people between the bathroom and the front door.

7. Stand behind the toilet as far as you can, and quickly lift both lids.

8. The cat will rocket out of the toilet, streak through the bathroom, and
run outside where he will dry himself off.

9. Both the commode and the cat will be sparkling clean.





Sincerely,

The Dog