First of all, no i'm not going through a hard time. They're just thoughts.
I was thinking again! If you took a moment or two to think about the millions of people in this world there are soo many that are suffering from something or another. Be it from family problems, health problems, lack of basic needs, doctors, medication, love, abuse by a signifcant other or anything. So many people in this big world don't know what it is like to have certain things to make their life better. Theres so many people that are being abused everyday be it emotionally or physically. Just a thought for you today. Take the time today or tomorrow to talk with a friend or read about someone else where in the world and listen to them, puttin yourself in their shoes. People who deserve so much more.
Personally, I think I just have too much time on my hands when dolly isn't here to fill my day.. :(
By the way. Where was that angel of mine today? I didn't hear from her at all today or yesterday. I'm NOT worried!! Promise! Just curious. I love you Dolly!!! With all my heart! I was thinkin of ya today. Too much I might add! Emily was starting to get annoyed after a little while. I'm not sure how though.. :( xoxoxo
Ok doll you have a point!!
Tuesday, May 31, 2005
Monday, May 30, 2005
Forgot what it felt like
I decided to spend the night with my grandmas since my mom wasn't home yet and it was getting late. I was feeling kinda lonely and i was really bored. I went to bed around 11 because i was watching tv, something I almost never do. I stayed up with my grandma m+m watching...I don't remember but it was about a wife who was accused of killing her husband but really didnt and then when she got out of jail she went after him. Oh it was Double Jeporty. (can't spell it) So when that was over I went into bed and didn't wake up again until like 9am. Boy did it feel nice!! But when I woke up 2 of my aunts and uncles, both grandmas, and my 2 cousins were there. Now I had to come out of the room not dressed for public at all family or not. My hair was oily, i had a baggy blue shirt on with white pants on for pjs. I just wasn't appropriately dressed. Slipped into the bathroom without being noticed by the guys in the room and washed my face brushed my hair and threw it up into a bun. Slipped back into the bedroom to put on some fresh clothes and i forgot all about bringing a bra down.. :( So had to go without. :( Put black pants and a green shirt on. trying to get away with it.
When I was finally noticed they were discussing something about the couch and bringing it in. For the past month, you see, we've been moving my great grandma into my grandmas house and all there was left was a couch, a chair and a lamp to move. So that was done and next came the keys. I think it was getting all the keys into the office where my g. grams. lived. Before my one aunt Deb left she had to set the grandfather clock and all the electronics in the room. while that was happening i teased Jeff for a little bit making him chase his hat and cigarettes all over the house and around it. then everyone dissapeared and I started to read but then went back to sleep, waking up periodically checking the time for 3pm. When it was 2 I just layed there and I found myself asleep again until 4. I totally missed Dolly.. There was not point going up to the house anymore. My grandma fisher finally came in from outside work and was totally exausted. I felt horrible for not helping her but she wouldn't have let me anyway. She'd tell me I wasn't doing it right. So I got to see ppl, read for like 5 min., listen to my Chris Rice, eat and sleep the whole day. I felt wonderful!!
When I was finally noticed they were discussing something about the couch and bringing it in. For the past month, you see, we've been moving my great grandma into my grandmas house and all there was left was a couch, a chair and a lamp to move. So that was done and next came the keys. I think it was getting all the keys into the office where my g. grams. lived. Before my one aunt Deb left she had to set the grandfather clock and all the electronics in the room. while that was happening i teased Jeff for a little bit making him chase his hat and cigarettes all over the house and around it. then everyone dissapeared and I started to read but then went back to sleep, waking up periodically checking the time for 3pm. When it was 2 I just layed there and I found myself asleep again until 4. I totally missed Dolly.. There was not point going up to the house anymore. My grandma fisher finally came in from outside work and was totally exausted. I felt horrible for not helping her but she wouldn't have let me anyway. She'd tell me I wasn't doing it right. So I got to see ppl, read for like 5 min., listen to my Chris Rice, eat and sleep the whole day. I felt wonderful!!
Sunday, May 29, 2005
Thoughts of the Day
friends are people you can count on when times get tough. you can call no matter what time it is even if its something as stupid as a bad dream. you can trust with your secrets. you can joke with. you can talk to easily without having to be embaressed. that's a true friend.
Life demands a reaction--so give one! (no longer around... )
That's all for today. And tomorrow I have off and I'm planning on working on my spanish and finishing up my notebook and mythology report.
Oh another thing, I miss you Dolly!!!!! SOO MUCH!!! muah!! xoxoxoo
Life demands a reaction--so give one! (no longer around... )
That's all for today. And tomorrow I have off and I'm planning on working on my spanish and finishing up my notebook and mythology report.
Oh another thing, I miss you Dolly!!!!! SOO MUCH!!! muah!! xoxoxoo
Saturday, May 28, 2005
Day spent
I spent the day doing pretty much nothing. I was up around 8:30 and then took a shower cause I felt horrible. After or before that, I don't remember, my dad called cause it was his bday and my mom wished him happy bday ealier and I was going to when I got up. Ok so it was before I took a shower when he called. So anyway while mom was on the phone with him I ate a little bit of raisin bran to get me moving. After my shower I went to check my mail but couldn't get into my inbox cause the server was/is still busy. I can only get in for like a few seconds and then it kicks me out before the next page loads to either send a message or get one. :( So anyway I decided to lay back down and rest for a little bit and wait for my cousin Aaron to bring us his fish. Hey what the heck we already have his dog and 2 of his cats whats 3 or 4 more fish going to hurt? He invited me over for the evening to chill with him but didn't want to so told him no. Plus i have some reading I have to catch up on! :)) He's just turned 18 a little while ago and still doesn't drive but only because he's afraid to. So his girlfriend drives him everywhere. I like her too!! She's the best one out of them all. She's really cool but shes 20. I have a tendency to connect with ppl around 20yrs. old! well 16 and above if i thought about it cause amy is 16 i think... I dunno.. so anyway he came over around 1 and then shawn came home from church around 2. And now I'm just waiting on dolly for her to get home so i can chat then go walking in the rain over to Emily's house for the evening. I'm gonna help her with her book report once sabbath is out but until then I'll just hang out with her I guess.. I don't know when I'll be home but eventually...
Friday, May 27, 2005
A typical friday; both teachers and students anxious for the 2:45 bell to ring. Memorial day is on monday and so is Shelby's birthday. Shelby I love ya girl!! My lil' shell!
My plans for this weekend are pretty simple. I'm planning on finishing my language arts project and reading on sunday and monday. Saturday I haven't quite decided yet. It is between church and Emily's house. If I go to church I will be bored to death with no one else my age that goes there and also listen to gossip which I do not want to hear, a person who thinks she rules the church boss me around. I feel bad for describing her this way but it is the only way that will sorta help you understand. AND my wonderful friend Jen will not be around either.
On the other hand, If i go to emily's I get to spend the afternoon with her just her, I and Adam. I get to do my lesson with her and study the bible along with spending some good old fun time with my favorite cousin. And when the day is done I get to sit back and watch some movies with the family and tell my aunt how much i love her more than Emily. ;) :P inside comment. U gotta be there to get it! OH and there is the 30 - 40 minutes of going through ALL of emily's camp things that are ALREADY packed with her NEW 5 PIECE luggage her mom bought her along with a new bible that's waiting for me to pick out with her AND almost all new clothes including flipflops, and a swim suit and beach towel as well. with that and more she goes through it all showing me everything and then reorganizing it for the billionth time still uncontent with the arrangement. This would also make it about the 80th time she has shown me everything she has for camp. Oh and I forgot to mention that if Dolly was going to be there she would have needed an extra suit case for everything we wanted to bring just b/c Doll was going to be there along with about 3 or 4 gifts made and bought for her which would be from the both of us, not including her late christmast gift/bday present.... :'( It is all too, tooo sad..I do not know why i even bother to go for two weeks.. I know none of the councelors I want will be there and my 2 best friends won't be there. Not including Melissa! she doesn't count in this catagory even though she is one of my good friends. :P It gets confusing cause I have diff. catagories of b/fs!
So I'm leaning toward emily's house even though I don't mind the attention I get from some of the church people and the constant hugs and love I get.
OH btw! I finished my book a great and terrible beauty last night!!! at 11pm sharp I was done!!! i figured it takes 2 1/2hrs. to read 100pgs.!!
My plans for this weekend are pretty simple. I'm planning on finishing my language arts project and reading on sunday and monday. Saturday I haven't quite decided yet. It is between church and Emily's house. If I go to church I will be bored to death with no one else my age that goes there and also listen to gossip which I do not want to hear, a person who thinks she rules the church boss me around. I feel bad for describing her this way but it is the only way that will sorta help you understand. AND my wonderful friend Jen will not be around either.
On the other hand, If i go to emily's I get to spend the afternoon with her just her, I and Adam. I get to do my lesson with her and study the bible along with spending some good old fun time with my favorite cousin. And when the day is done I get to sit back and watch some movies with the family and tell my aunt how much i love her more than Emily. ;) :P inside comment. U gotta be there to get it! OH and there is the 30 - 40 minutes of going through ALL of emily's camp things that are ALREADY packed with her NEW 5 PIECE luggage her mom bought her along with a new bible that's waiting for me to pick out with her AND almost all new clothes including flipflops, and a swim suit and beach towel as well. with that and more she goes through it all showing me everything and then reorganizing it for the billionth time still uncontent with the arrangement. This would also make it about the 80th time she has shown me everything she has for camp. Oh and I forgot to mention that if Dolly was going to be there she would have needed an extra suit case for everything we wanted to bring just b/c Doll was going to be there along with about 3 or 4 gifts made and bought for her which would be from the both of us, not including her late christmast gift/bday present.... :'( It is all too, tooo sad..I do not know why i even bother to go for two weeks.. I know none of the councelors I want will be there and my 2 best friends won't be there. Not including Melissa! she doesn't count in this catagory even though she is one of my good friends. :P It gets confusing cause I have diff. catagories of b/fs!
So I'm leaning toward emily's house even though I don't mind the attention I get from some of the church people and the constant hugs and love I get.
OH btw! I finished my book a great and terrible beauty last night!!! at 11pm sharp I was done!!! i figured it takes 2 1/2hrs. to read 100pgs.!!
Thursday, May 26, 2005
After The Day was Over
Well I am glad to announce the internet is back with me! When I got home I found that internet was not back and decided to call DSL and fix the issue. I ended up only spending about 25 minutes on the phone with them before everything was solved. They were very good at getting everything done and getting me through to someone as quickly as possible. AND I only had to speak with 2 people!!! :))
On that, I just sent Doll an email but I don't think she got it. So, sorry Doll.. The hotmail thing was loading and then I accidently closed the window when I saw it blank.. natural reaction.. But I wanted to personally email you letting u know what went on and all and telling u how much I love u and miss u and what not. U know.
So after I got off the phone with them I did my math h/w and then was called upon to help move furniture and other items into my grandmother's house and then after all was done I decided to clean out both my mom's car and my gram's car because they were both filthy! Especially my mom's. She doesn't know how to take care of things, sadly... She can be such a child..:( After that I came up to the house ate a salad some veggie soup and drank some chocolate soy milk. And btw for lunch I had chips, icetea, taco, corn and I think that's all.. And I weight about 101lbs! AND yet I am still a little hungry... I feel like such a pig...:'( I'm a growing girl!! ;) well trying to grow a little taller but it is just not happening.. I think I am shorter than Doll still.. :( Tis sad.. Well at least I think i am shorter than her.. I don't remember.. :$
So now I am off to London once again with only 100 pages left in my book. I read a total of 300 pages since sunday!! I am thrilled at how much I have accomplished this week. It's been such a long time since I have been able to sit down and read so much. Although I got scolded a couple times for reading when I shouldn't have and reading while on the way to my next class. May I add that my friends were teasing me and literally walking in front of me and coming to a dead stop and each time I would walk straight into them. :( Even though it was a little funny I didn't care for being stopped in a middle of a sentence to collect my belongings that were slipping out of my hands and telling the person to stop even though I was laughing at myself thinking how much of a bookworm I am becoming.. Off I go!! In a small attempt to finish 30 or so pages within the next 20 minutes or to 9:20. I love you Doll!! I'm thinking the ONLY one who reads my blog!! :'(
On that, I just sent Doll an email but I don't think she got it. So, sorry Doll.. The hotmail thing was loading and then I accidently closed the window when I saw it blank.. natural reaction.. But I wanted to personally email you letting u know what went on and all and telling u how much I love u and miss u and what not. U know.
So after I got off the phone with them I did my math h/w and then was called upon to help move furniture and other items into my grandmother's house and then after all was done I decided to clean out both my mom's car and my gram's car because they were both filthy! Especially my mom's. She doesn't know how to take care of things, sadly... She can be such a child..:( After that I came up to the house ate a salad some veggie soup and drank some chocolate soy milk. And btw for lunch I had chips, icetea, taco, corn and I think that's all.. And I weight about 101lbs! AND yet I am still a little hungry... I feel like such a pig...:'( I'm a growing girl!! ;) well trying to grow a little taller but it is just not happening.. I think I am shorter than Doll still.. :( Tis sad.. Well at least I think i am shorter than her.. I don't remember.. :$
So now I am off to London once again with only 100 pages left in my book. I read a total of 300 pages since sunday!! I am thrilled at how much I have accomplished this week. It's been such a long time since I have been able to sit down and read so much. Although I got scolded a couple times for reading when I shouldn't have and reading while on the way to my next class. May I add that my friends were teasing me and literally walking in front of me and coming to a dead stop and each time I would walk straight into them. :( Even though it was a little funny I didn't care for being stopped in a middle of a sentence to collect my belongings that were slipping out of my hands and telling the person to stop even though I was laughing at myself thinking how much of a bookworm I am becoming.. Off I go!! In a small attempt to finish 30 or so pages within the next 20 minutes or to 9:20. I love you Doll!! I'm thinking the ONLY one who reads my blog!! :'(
It got lost!
Last night at home I totally lost my internet connection. Studpid people lost the server at the headquarters.. I must go for now.. I have a ppt to do!!
I love u Dolly!
Ok I'm in science class now, trying not confuse you, honest! It's third period now and I'm working on my water project in science, the powerpoint. I'm working on the buoyant force and density at the moment and have a total of 6 slides completed and only 6 slides because every other minute someone is saying, "Nicole!!!! Help me!!!! I need help..:(
So anyway, Last night around 8:30 while listening to itunes and reading my internet just shut off and I called Verizon dsl and they said their server was down in some states and figured that they already knew that it was also down in Pa so there was no point in wasting another 20 min. waiting to get to another person to talk to. :( If i don't have internet again tonight I'll call and ask them whats going on. :) So I'm sorry for those of you who like to chat with me at night! I may not be available tonight.. :( see ya! mod is over! its only 45 min long and with ppt and this and students its kinda hard to type all this. tootles! loves to Jen, Laur and kt and Dollface! xoxo
I love u Dolly!
Ok I'm in science class now, trying not confuse you, honest! It's third period now and I'm working on my water project in science, the powerpoint. I'm working on the buoyant force and density at the moment and have a total of 6 slides completed and only 6 slides because every other minute someone is saying, "Nicole!!!! Help me!!!! I need help..:(
So anyway, Last night around 8:30 while listening to itunes and reading my internet just shut off and I called Verizon dsl and they said their server was down in some states and figured that they already knew that it was also down in Pa so there was no point in wasting another 20 min. waiting to get to another person to talk to. :( If i don't have internet again tonight I'll call and ask them whats going on. :) So I'm sorry for those of you who like to chat with me at night! I may not be available tonight.. :( see ya! mod is over! its only 45 min long and with ppt and this and students its kinda hard to type all this. tootles! loves to Jen, Laur and kt and Dollface! xoxo
Wednesday, May 25, 2005
Absolutely Dreadful
When one person is doing better everyone around you seems to be getting worse.
My friends and I seem to be arguing more than usual. One of my best friends has poison ivy and has done everything to try to get rid of it and tonight she's going to the doctors. She has it all up her arms and legs. Even after I scold her for scratching she does it again after a bit. My bestest friend or the one i love VERY dearly has decided to deminish her blog altogether. Leaving me an empty time slot along with an incomplete day and her most likely hurt on some level. My Jen was sick just yesterday and I haven't heard anything new today. Just in general people I know and love are getting hurt in some way or are just not doing soo well.
I on the other hand do not feel deeply hurt nor do I feel depressed. I seem to be becoming more socialable with people which I think is a good thing. Although I feel as if i'm leaving some old friends in the dark I feel as if i have been changing dramatically either for the good or bad. Last night a had some time to think some more about me changing. I have noticed I am not nearly as sensitive as I used to be but I tend to be unkind to close friends. I've also been exagorating or being sarcastic lately as well. This of which could hurt friends that are not used to having this kind of thing done to them from me. One reason being the people speaking to them (me) are not at the same social level or maybe are just afraid of what may be said back to them. For me, I think could be a good thing in a sense. I am no longer as afraid to say how i feel about something to someone else. I seem also to be getting more respect from these people of higher stats than I. I feel more comfortable being around more "popular" people and can socialize with them more freely. On the other hand my very close friends are drifting away from me but I do not want them to... I still want to be the closest friend to them because of the memories we have shared and how close I once had been with them. I do love them but.. I'm not sure... I want to move on but I don't want to leave them behind. Also I am drifting away more and more everyday from being a teacher's pet in any perspective!!
The positives are just feeling more wanted in some way. I don't feel like an outcast and I am socially accepted. I'm trying to figure out at this point what is right and what I should avoid. I do know the obvious things:smoking, drugs and alcohol and stuff. I just don't want to be hurtful to the people I love very much. All I know is i need to stay away from Tyler cause he is rubbing off on me with his sarcasim. Also I need to know when to keep my mouth shut cause I could end up saying something I either may regret or me speaking my mind would not be respectful. I'm just feeling better about myself in general and Mom is being overall good to me in more than one way. (besides last night's very small drama!)
My friends and I seem to be arguing more than usual. One of my best friends has poison ivy and has done everything to try to get rid of it and tonight she's going to the doctors. She has it all up her arms and legs. Even after I scold her for scratching she does it again after a bit. My bestest friend or the one i love VERY dearly has decided to deminish her blog altogether. Leaving me an empty time slot along with an incomplete day and her most likely hurt on some level. My Jen was sick just yesterday and I haven't heard anything new today. Just in general people I know and love are getting hurt in some way or are just not doing soo well.
I on the other hand do not feel deeply hurt nor do I feel depressed. I seem to be becoming more socialable with people which I think is a good thing. Although I feel as if i'm leaving some old friends in the dark I feel as if i have been changing dramatically either for the good or bad. Last night a had some time to think some more about me changing. I have noticed I am not nearly as sensitive as I used to be but I tend to be unkind to close friends. I've also been exagorating or being sarcastic lately as well. This of which could hurt friends that are not used to having this kind of thing done to them from me. One reason being the people speaking to them (me) are not at the same social level or maybe are just afraid of what may be said back to them. For me, I think could be a good thing in a sense. I am no longer as afraid to say how i feel about something to someone else. I seem also to be getting more respect from these people of higher stats than I. I feel more comfortable being around more "popular" people and can socialize with them more freely. On the other hand my very close friends are drifting away from me but I do not want them to... I still want to be the closest friend to them because of the memories we have shared and how close I once had been with them. I do love them but.. I'm not sure... I want to move on but I don't want to leave them behind. Also I am drifting away more and more everyday from being a teacher's pet in any perspective!!
The positives are just feeling more wanted in some way. I don't feel like an outcast and I am socially accepted. I'm trying to figure out at this point what is right and what I should avoid. I do know the obvious things:smoking, drugs and alcohol and stuff. I just don't want to be hurtful to the people I love very much. All I know is i need to stay away from Tyler cause he is rubbing off on me with his sarcasim. Also I need to know when to keep my mouth shut cause I could end up saying something I either may regret or me speaking my mind would not be respectful. I'm just feeling better about myself in general and Mom is being overall good to me in more than one way. (besides last night's very small drama!)
Tuesday, May 24, 2005
Well, Well, Well...
First lets say Mine to share!! a repeat!! Well not really but Mr. rankin has been hitting my butt all this mod. If it weren't for my kindness I would have beaten him already! ;) If you haven't noticed I have little tolerence for some boys. They just tend to get on my nerves.
And last night (tues. night) I spent the evening with my grandmother at her house. My mom had one of her moods again. She was asking me all these questions once again and wanted to know why my email address was on my dad's setting on his messeanger. For this I had no answer. So she then wanted to know about the books I was reading and I had no objections to telling her about them. She was really focusing on the beginning part of Great and terrible beauty where Gemma's mother dies. She was fascinated by that I suppose.
So after that she left with ilgar still in the house and so i called my grandmother asking her ......See ya.. be back later!!
OK I'm back in the library now. So anyway, She said I could come down and so i stayed the night. I didn't take a shower, nor am I wearing any make up today at all. Not even cover up!!! I'm feeling very naked. Ilgar left shortly after I lelf the house but i stayed down at my grandma's for some obvious reasons to people.
ok going. Do not know whether or not i'll be home tonight talking. tootles! xoxoxo
And last night (tues. night) I spent the evening with my grandmother at her house. My mom had one of her moods again. She was asking me all these questions once again and wanted to know why my email address was on my dad's setting on his messeanger. For this I had no answer. So she then wanted to know about the books I was reading and I had no objections to telling her about them. She was really focusing on the beginning part of Great and terrible beauty where Gemma's mother dies. She was fascinated by that I suppose.
So after that she left with ilgar still in the house and so i called my grandmother asking her ......See ya.. be back later!!
OK I'm back in the library now. So anyway, She said I could come down and so i stayed the night. I didn't take a shower, nor am I wearing any make up today at all. Not even cover up!!! I'm feeling very naked. Ilgar left shortly after I lelf the house but i stayed down at my grandma's for some obvious reasons to people.
ok going. Do not know whether or not i'll be home tonight talking. tootles! xoxoxo
Monday, May 23, 2005
Found one of the Beauties of this world
Today I discovered Miss Gina several places on the internet while looking at CUC. I also found several articles by Gina, the girls director this year at camp. I never knew she was SOO famous!!! I type in her name in google then and I found a few pages of which there are things by this very woman through CUC. I am extremely impressed! I knew she was great but not so great she can be found everywhere in CUC!! here look this is just one..http://www.adventistreview.org/2004-1518/story4.html and http://www.ucollege.edu/ucscripts/public/template/default.asp?DivID=11&PgID=10&Popt=4&PName=118 these are the first two I found. I found another one but lost it.. :( But yea, I just came across this beautiful girl just a few moments ago! It all started with a letter from Camp and one of the things said was knowing people who still know the Union College song and then I saw Jiffer which I then wanted to find out if I could find the both of them at CUC. and I did sure enough! Just a lil bit I found today.
With that piece of news the moment is over. Today I found myself weighing 100lbs. That moment is now over! hehe
Well school was boring as usual. This week the only difference is the fact that it's spirit week. Today was PJ day and tomorrow is wacky hair day. For me I don't think I will even try to have wacky hair.. My imagination is not wide enough to think of something good. Further more I do not wish to be the talk amongst the teachers. They have a tendency to do that... Well at least last year. This year I am not in tune with what the teachers are talking about. Sometimes I prefer not to know.
In home ec. the class is working on our pillow and mine looks absolutely horrible! I do not think I could have done worse. I'm making a pig pillow and its pink and purple. Yes, I know very girlie! But it goes with my room.. sorta.. But now I want to change the atmosphere in my room to something different. I like all the porcelain Dolls that have been given to me be throughout the years as a gife and the art so I'm hoping to keep that but I want to change everything else.
There isn't much I can really do with my room when it comes to moving furniture. It is soo incredibly small its really sad. I wish I could move my bed but there isn't any where I can really move it. There's only one spot in this room where it will fit so it'll have to stay there. As for everhthing else, I will maybe be able to find it a new home. Hopefully.. I'll have to take some measurements and such in order to find out what i CAN do with it.. And as far as the colors in my room I have already changed the color of my bed dramatically and I'm going to try to get rid of a lot of pink and blue! No matter how much i like those colors they might have to go.
And for the past few days I have been working on two things, well three. One, Reading my book in hope to finish it by the end of this week. Two Working on a science project dealing with water and practically everything about it and three Spanish. I've been studying up for our finals on the second. Oh and I should add a forth. Language arts and a project on mythology and I'm doing mine on the stars and its constilations. So back to work i go!
Loves 2 my grls whom I love so very much! xoxoxo
OH and guess what I saw in my front yard today?!?!?!
Guess!!!
I'll give u a hint. It's a type of bird and its offly big. The males beauty is mainly what attracts their mates. Give it a go! ................
.........
................
It's a Peacock! I saw one today in my front yard and then in the driveway. From there to the roof and from there down in the small field type of thing and from there to the side stream! I didn't get a picture sadly but I did try. I was too short for the height of the roof or I was too far away to get a good picture without scaring him. But not to worry my brother took care of that! :(
With that piece of news the moment is over. Today I found myself weighing 100lbs. That moment is now over! hehe
Well school was boring as usual. This week the only difference is the fact that it's spirit week. Today was PJ day and tomorrow is wacky hair day. For me I don't think I will even try to have wacky hair.. My imagination is not wide enough to think of something good. Further more I do not wish to be the talk amongst the teachers. They have a tendency to do that... Well at least last year. This year I am not in tune with what the teachers are talking about. Sometimes I prefer not to know.
In home ec. the class is working on our pillow and mine looks absolutely horrible! I do not think I could have done worse. I'm making a pig pillow and its pink and purple. Yes, I know very girlie! But it goes with my room.. sorta.. But now I want to change the atmosphere in my room to something different. I like all the porcelain Dolls that have been given to me be throughout the years as a gife and the art so I'm hoping to keep that but I want to change everything else.
There isn't much I can really do with my room when it comes to moving furniture. It is soo incredibly small its really sad. I wish I could move my bed but there isn't any where I can really move it. There's only one spot in this room where it will fit so it'll have to stay there. As for everhthing else, I will maybe be able to find it a new home. Hopefully.. I'll have to take some measurements and such in order to find out what i CAN do with it.. And as far as the colors in my room I have already changed the color of my bed dramatically and I'm going to try to get rid of a lot of pink and blue! No matter how much i like those colors they might have to go.
And for the past few days I have been working on two things, well three. One, Reading my book in hope to finish it by the end of this week. Two Working on a science project dealing with water and practically everything about it and three Spanish. I've been studying up for our finals on the second. Oh and I should add a forth. Language arts and a project on mythology and I'm doing mine on the stars and its constilations. So back to work i go!
Loves 2 my grls whom I love so very much! xoxoxo
OH and guess what I saw in my front yard today?!?!?!
Guess!!!
I'll give u a hint. It's a type of bird and its offly big. The males beauty is mainly what attracts their mates. Give it a go! ................
.........
................
It's a Peacock! I saw one today in my front yard and then in the driveway. From there to the roof and from there down in the small field type of thing and from there to the side stream! I didn't get a picture sadly but I did try. I was too short for the height of the roof or I was too far away to get a good picture without scaring him. But not to worry my brother took care of that! :(
Sunday, May 22, 2005
Oh yea
This morning I woke up with a small startle to my mom opening my door looking for some papers and then I fell back to sleep for a few more minutes. I was hoping Doll wasn't online so i could sleep that extra few minutes. I figured I could go one morning without having to get up so early just to do one thing of importance knowing i'll have another chance to talk to her. So decided I'd go back to sleep.
I didn't get up until around 7:30-8 and when I did I started to clean up a bit, do some dishes and make my to do list. I ended up getting it almost completed with only some updates on my computer to do. That can wait and it will have to cause I'll have to go get the stuff i need in order to update.
I cleaned up my room a bit, changed my sheets and blanket, polished, dusted, organized, put clothes away, went through some old things that needed to be thrown out, ate and then decided to sit down and read. Instead of reading Bel Canto my nose is in A great and terrible Beauty. It's about a girl whos name is Gemma who is somewhat haunted by these visions after her mothers death. She invisioned her mother dieing and what took place at that moment. She wanted to yell for her but could not speak. She was at loss of a voice.
She is unable to move, paralized. She tries to get up but can not. Her breaths are short and hard. Then she sees a man and tries to call for help but can't because her lack of knowledge of hindu as well. When she comes back to reality someone takes her to this crowd of people circled around a store and she pushes her way through the crowd to see her mother dead.
the last words she said to her mom were " I don't care if you even come back" or something like that. and the daughter very badly wanted to go to school in London with her brother. 3 months after her mom dies she's sent to the school she's longed for and it turns out not to be What she expected. She expected young ladies who play tennis in skirts on a perfect green field and girls who have perfect everything. So right now i'm up to the point where she traps the guy who is stocking her and telling her to block out these visions for they will cause great danger to not only her but others. She traps him and asks guestions thats she had come up with within the past few days or so. So after I find myself something to snack on I'll be going back to London! see ya!
I didn't get up until around 7:30-8 and when I did I started to clean up a bit, do some dishes and make my to do list. I ended up getting it almost completed with only some updates on my computer to do. That can wait and it will have to cause I'll have to go get the stuff i need in order to update.
I cleaned up my room a bit, changed my sheets and blanket, polished, dusted, organized, put clothes away, went through some old things that needed to be thrown out, ate and then decided to sit down and read. Instead of reading Bel Canto my nose is in A great and terrible Beauty. It's about a girl whos name is Gemma who is somewhat haunted by these visions after her mothers death. She invisioned her mother dieing and what took place at that moment. She wanted to yell for her but could not speak. She was at loss of a voice.
She is unable to move, paralized. She tries to get up but can not. Her breaths are short and hard. Then she sees a man and tries to call for help but can't because her lack of knowledge of hindu as well. When she comes back to reality someone takes her to this crowd of people circled around a store and she pushes her way through the crowd to see her mother dead.
the last words she said to her mom were " I don't care if you even come back" or something like that. and the daughter very badly wanted to go to school in London with her brother. 3 months after her mom dies she's sent to the school she's longed for and it turns out not to be What she expected. She expected young ladies who play tennis in skirts on a perfect green field and girls who have perfect everything. So right now i'm up to the point where she traps the guy who is stocking her and telling her to block out these visions for they will cause great danger to not only her but others. She traps him and asks guestions thats she had come up with within the past few days or so. So after I find myself something to snack on I'll be going back to London! see ya!
Saturday, May 21, 2005
For sabbath I stayed down at my grandmas and invited Emma over for church and actually talked her into going. As soon as he heard emily's name he says I wanna go down too!! I told him i was going down to help grandma move some things and he said I wanna go too. So he ended up coming with me.
Before that Deb called. After how many months of being mad at a certain someone for kicking Deb out of the church practically and then not recieving a phone call for months on end. This worried me a bit because of the fact of what happened in the past which i will not discuss but lets just say it was all in God's hands and she's still here today. :) So anyway she called me and informed of some updates that I would need to know. From there I took a few notes and then off I went to grams.
on 3abn I was watching some minister person and he was funny! He impersonated these people in the bible and sorta kinda modernised it. The story was about how these people were tying to get into a building for medical help or something and the guard wouldn't let them in so they climbed in from the roof and then Jesus came and healed this person from his sins and the guy was all better and got up and walked out with his bed. Emily finally decided to join me when it was a lil past 8pm. and her mom came in and got a pair of shoes from grandma and chatted then said her goodbyes and off she went. Emma and I stayed up for a while and we read our lesson and then i attempted to read some bel canto but was soo tired just gave it up.
For church I couldn't decide what I wanted to wear and changed like 3 times and then Emily changed a couple times and then didn't like what she had on and came up to my house and searched through my clothes and still neither one of us were satisfied she she settled on just jeans and one of my pink shirts. We went to church and we had communion. for lunch em' and I decided to eat outside in the back of grandmas car. I did eat!!! I was pretty hungy by then. As Emily had said ealier to Doll I used some potty mouth that I shouldn't have. You see my grandma is a very BIG clean freak and if one thing is out of place she'll have a cow. Knowing this em' and I were extremely careful. I still managed to spill my lima beans though! It went all over one corner of the trunk. It wasn't fully my fault. If shawn hadn't been running around emily and I I wouldnt have done it. He went to jump up onto the car and I tried to move my beans out of his way and they spilt. So i'm like $&*^!!!! s$*^!!! and again and again. Then I thought of potty mouth. so stopped and fixed the problem immediantly. It was all better once i cleaned it up and washed out the rag i used. All better! and now i'm going to bed!
Before that Deb called. After how many months of being mad at a certain someone for kicking Deb out of the church practically and then not recieving a phone call for months on end. This worried me a bit because of the fact of what happened in the past which i will not discuss but lets just say it was all in God's hands and she's still here today. :) So anyway she called me and informed of some updates that I would need to know. From there I took a few notes and then off I went to grams.
on 3abn I was watching some minister person and he was funny! He impersonated these people in the bible and sorta kinda modernised it. The story was about how these people were tying to get into a building for medical help or something and the guard wouldn't let them in so they climbed in from the roof and then Jesus came and healed this person from his sins and the guy was all better and got up and walked out with his bed. Emily finally decided to join me when it was a lil past 8pm. and her mom came in and got a pair of shoes from grandma and chatted then said her goodbyes and off she went. Emma and I stayed up for a while and we read our lesson and then i attempted to read some bel canto but was soo tired just gave it up.
For church I couldn't decide what I wanted to wear and changed like 3 times and then Emily changed a couple times and then didn't like what she had on and came up to my house and searched through my clothes and still neither one of us were satisfied she she settled on just jeans and one of my pink shirts. We went to church and we had communion. for lunch em' and I decided to eat outside in the back of grandmas car. I did eat!!! I was pretty hungy by then. As Emily had said ealier to Doll I used some potty mouth that I shouldn't have. You see my grandma is a very BIG clean freak and if one thing is out of place she'll have a cow. Knowing this em' and I were extremely careful. I still managed to spill my lima beans though! It went all over one corner of the trunk. It wasn't fully my fault. If shawn hadn't been running around emily and I I wouldnt have done it. He went to jump up onto the car and I tried to move my beans out of his way and they spilt. So i'm like $&*^!!!! s$*^!!! and again and again. Then I thought of potty mouth. so stopped and fixed the problem immediantly. It was all better once i cleaned it up and washed out the rag i used. All better! and now i'm going to bed!
Friday, May 20, 2005
I went to the library! and I have until June 2 to read bel canto and a great and terrible beauty. I can't wait!
Note for Doll:
love ya lots and lots! Miss u! and listen to matan! U need to upgrade to msn 7.0 cause its soo much better. its got lots of lil things to play with!
My plans for today:
Get ready 4 school then off for my 20 min. busride to school. From there I'll need to make up the work i missed yesterday and then find Mrs. Jones (asst. principal) to discuss an idea that a friend and I had while at the forum. after getting and answer from her I have to let Kassy know. And then when lunch comes around I'll be making my daily stop at Reimers for a short chat. Then depending on whether or not i'm late I'll grab lunch. If i'm late i'll grab a drink out of the machine. Then back to classes at 12:15
Last night I went to the Olive Garden too!!! :D:D:D:D MY FAVORITE resturaunt yet. Keep in mind I only know of a few resturaunts. What did i eat?? 2 breadsticks, lil fettucini, and chicken caesar and a glass and 1/2 of icetea. Earlier for lunch i ate 2 slices of pizza and shared a breadstick with shawn. That's the most I ate for a while I think.. and yesterday thats all I ate! ok i g2g! i only have 14 min. to get ready.
Note for Doll:
love ya lots and lots! Miss u! and listen to matan! U need to upgrade to msn 7.0 cause its soo much better. its got lots of lil things to play with!
My plans for today:
Get ready 4 school then off for my 20 min. busride to school. From there I'll need to make up the work i missed yesterday and then find Mrs. Jones (asst. principal) to discuss an idea that a friend and I had while at the forum. after getting and answer from her I have to let Kassy know. And then when lunch comes around I'll be making my daily stop at Reimers for a short chat. Then depending on whether or not i'm late I'll grab lunch. If i'm late i'll grab a drink out of the machine. Then back to classes at 12:15
Last night I went to the Olive Garden too!!! :D:D:D:D MY FAVORITE resturaunt yet. Keep in mind I only know of a few resturaunts. What did i eat?? 2 breadsticks, lil fettucini, and chicken caesar and a glass and 1/2 of icetea. Earlier for lunch i ate 2 slices of pizza and shared a breadstick with shawn. That's the most I ate for a while I think.. and yesterday thats all I ate! ok i g2g! i only have 14 min. to get ready.
Thursday, May 19, 2005
Decisions, Decisions..
My science teacher has been telling the class over and over again not to miss any days because it's so close to the end of the year and we have a project going on in his class. If I miss a class I'll have work to make up. Which I already knew. yesterday between his class and orchestra I must have lost my rurbric for this project. :( So i need to get another one. :( I was soo busy fixing all the laptops and straightening up the cart I barely had time to look up any research, not like I could. There weren't any computers left when I got to the cart. :( Mr. I'm all that and a bag of chips has been given me lip and I'm tryin to keep my mouth shut. It's getting difficult.... He's soo full of himself. I won't say who though.. :) I can't stand people like that I just wanna give them a piece of reality and straighten their butt out. but no.. Since I'm a good girl and christian it wouldn't be right. Although I'm guilty for telling Tyler off either this week or last or both because he was being soo full of himself I just wanted to strangle him. I felt really good afterwards though!!
So I also have computer work to do in the lab today for apple core but my mom wants me to take off and spend the day with her. She said I'll get to see Kait, Ali, and aunt Deb AND she'll TAKE ME TO THE LIBRARY!!! When those words came out of her mouth I started to debate whether or not i can take a day off. I've been really tired lately anyway so there's no point in me just sitting in class letting words go through one ear and out the other.. I might be needed at school today for all I know.. Mrs. Umphrey's birthday is tomorrow and I gave her a card yesterday so thats good. I also asked a classmate to try to get ahold of some chocolate for Mrs. U too cause EVERYONE likes chocolate! I didn't have a chance to call Emily on tues to arrange some time for this or some time to learn how to crochet but so thats what my friends are for!
Ok I gotta get moving.. mom wants me to do somethin on puter for her.. AnD shes in a good mood today as u can see!!! :D This is the plus side of her! I love it!
So I also have computer work to do in the lab today for apple core but my mom wants me to take off and spend the day with her. She said I'll get to see Kait, Ali, and aunt Deb AND she'll TAKE ME TO THE LIBRARY!!! When those words came out of her mouth I started to debate whether or not i can take a day off. I've been really tired lately anyway so there's no point in me just sitting in class letting words go through one ear and out the other.. I might be needed at school today for all I know.. Mrs. Umphrey's birthday is tomorrow and I gave her a card yesterday so thats good. I also asked a classmate to try to get ahold of some chocolate for Mrs. U too cause EVERYONE likes chocolate! I didn't have a chance to call Emily on tues to arrange some time for this or some time to learn how to crochet but so thats what my friends are for!
Ok I gotta get moving.. mom wants me to do somethin on puter for her.. AnD shes in a good mood today as u can see!!! :D This is the plus side of her! I love it!
Tuesday, May 17, 2005
It's all about you!! ok, not ALL of it...
Ok lets practice here!! Let me here you say no! N-O There ya go!! Good Job!!! I'm soo proud of you! :P
You might need this blog to understand everything: http://bryce.unixtips.org/dolly
Off with my blog now! This is because of this person whom I do not know. Well I do but it's not her. My Dolly is growing or has grown up! She went from the sweet little angel that I know and love very much to a woman. Now first of all, my defininition of woman is probably totally different from other people's. When I hear the word woman i think of a b*^@& (just to give you the hint since i can't do potty mouth!!) I'm thinking Lady is the word Dolly wants, not woman... Lady is a mature, sophisticated, modest (or as modest as poss.),nice female who people enjoy being around. back to the point. Today I found myself confused when I saw this womanish picture of Dolly and was saying no, no, no and NO! I'm sorry Dolly, I love you and all but this woman thing isn't you... If you have seen the picture she looks very boring. Or Ella parece muy aburrida. ( i have a final coming up and i could use the practice!) So anyway, she says she can be womanish which I can believe!! BUT Ladyish might be better! She was always an adult type of person but now... I don't know what to say...Maybe it's just the posture/body language. It had to be! On the positive side, though, change is good and I'll always love u, Doll!! :P I don't know I can't just picture you being this "woman" but if it floats your boat go right ahead!
And with that, Mrs. Umphrey talked to me today, afterschool. I was peaking into her room cause i just saw her but then i left and when I came back she wasn't there but I saw her purse still there. So turned around and loudly asked "Where's Mrs. Umphrey?" That moment I see her and she says what? (nicely i might add!! AND she made eye contact and smiled!!!) I'm really getting somewhere! I'm starting to think i should change this letter that I have written for the end of the year now. She then said some other things but the fact that she was being nice to me just made me feel like i was untop of the world even though I was totally red because I had no idea that she was basically right in front of me. My dear Mrs. Umphrey its just absolutely impossible to be mad/dislike/avoid her. Yea, I'm totally pathetic!! Oh I was told she won't be here this friday so I have to get this bday stuff to her tomorrow. AND I'm hoping to learn how to crochet so i can make a blanket for her for the babyshower that her class is throwing for her and my friend agreed to give it to her IF i actually make this blanket. It is going to take some serious time out of my schedule but it'll be worth it. I might even have to neglect Miss Porawski a few afternoons and skip some reading and wrec time. It will be worth it, hopefully.. Some hard work.... Get over it people!!! I'm weird, deal with it! Not a suck up! she won't even know its from me, its the thought that counts!! So HA!! boo ya! :P
You might need this blog to understand everything: http://bryce.unixtips.org/dolly
Off with my blog now! This is because of this person whom I do not know. Well I do but it's not her. My Dolly is growing or has grown up! She went from the sweet little angel that I know and love very much to a woman. Now first of all, my defininition of woman is probably totally different from other people's. When I hear the word woman i think of a b*^@& (just to give you the hint since i can't do potty mouth!!) I'm thinking Lady is the word Dolly wants, not woman... Lady is a mature, sophisticated, modest (or as modest as poss.),nice female who people enjoy being around. back to the point. Today I found myself confused when I saw this womanish picture of Dolly and was saying no, no, no and NO! I'm sorry Dolly, I love you and all but this woman thing isn't you... If you have seen the picture she looks very boring. Or Ella parece muy aburrida. ( i have a final coming up and i could use the practice!) So anyway, she says she can be womanish which I can believe!! BUT Ladyish might be better! She was always an adult type of person but now... I don't know what to say...Maybe it's just the posture/body language. It had to be! On the positive side, though, change is good and I'll always love u, Doll!! :P I don't know I can't just picture you being this "woman" but if it floats your boat go right ahead!
And with that, Mrs. Umphrey talked to me today, afterschool. I was peaking into her room cause i just saw her but then i left and when I came back she wasn't there but I saw her purse still there. So turned around and loudly asked "Where's Mrs. Umphrey?" That moment I see her and she says what? (nicely i might add!! AND she made eye contact and smiled!!!) I'm really getting somewhere! I'm starting to think i should change this letter that I have written for the end of the year now. She then said some other things but the fact that she was being nice to me just made me feel like i was untop of the world even though I was totally red because I had no idea that she was basically right in front of me. My dear Mrs. Umphrey its just absolutely impossible to be mad/dislike/avoid her. Yea, I'm totally pathetic!! Oh I was told she won't be here this friday so I have to get this bday stuff to her tomorrow. AND I'm hoping to learn how to crochet so i can make a blanket for her for the babyshower that her class is throwing for her and my friend agreed to give it to her IF i actually make this blanket. It is going to take some serious time out of my schedule but it'll be worth it. I might even have to neglect Miss Porawski a few afternoons and skip some reading and wrec time. It will be worth it, hopefully.. Some hard work.... Get over it people!!! I'm weird, deal with it! Not a suck up! she won't even know its from me, its the thought that counts!! So HA!! boo ya! :P
Monday, May 16, 2005
I feel...
As you may have noticed it wasn't long before I unpublished my last entry. I didn't feel that the public needed to read it. It felt more like a personal note than anything. The other reason is because I didn't know if a certain person would talk to me before it got to late so I'd post an entry in hope of a response and motivation. That of which I did recieve a response and decided to take it down.
I want to also thank all my faithful readers lately for all their prayers and support in every way. The comments you people make make me feel all better when I had a not so good day. I am going to try not to be soo negative for now on and forgive me if I am. Just let me know if you are tired of hearing all this negativity and I'll stop and rethink, finding the positives about the day. I am trying to go back to my old self in that perspective.
On with the days events now. The 8th grade had an early lunch today at 11:05 and then went to the Forum to see Paperclips. After hearing that it was about the holocaust I thought it'd be like a history lesson from a book. Quite the contrary though! The title Paperclips was a symbol for each person who died because of Hitler and the Holocaust. I cried when I saw the people that survived and after I listened to parts of their speaches and the students feelings about them. I had never heard anything about the Holocaust in my life. I didn't know what it was, when it was, who did what to whom, or where it all was. A middle school in Tennessee decided to research this horrific event and one student asked how many was 6 million. So after some research they decided to do paperclips because of the history that lies behind it. When the holocaust was going on people wore paperclips to represent who they were. Theres a lot of of detail, you might just wanna look into it yourself. So anyway, the school wrote to many people asking for paperclips. In the end they recieved over 11 million paperclips. Some of which were from Bill Cosbey, Bill Clinton, Jim Carey, and people thanking Anne Frank. Because of this I now have a desire to read the diary of Anne Frank. I never wanted to read the book because I always thought it was just a diary about WW2 but I might actually do some looking into it.
With that I'm going! my lips are chapped! see ya! loves to Dolly and Laura and Jen! xoxoxo
I want to also thank all my faithful readers lately for all their prayers and support in every way. The comments you people make make me feel all better when I had a not so good day. I am going to try not to be soo negative for now on and forgive me if I am. Just let me know if you are tired of hearing all this negativity and I'll stop and rethink, finding the positives about the day. I am trying to go back to my old self in that perspective.
On with the days events now. The 8th grade had an early lunch today at 11:05 and then went to the Forum to see Paperclips. After hearing that it was about the holocaust I thought it'd be like a history lesson from a book. Quite the contrary though! The title Paperclips was a symbol for each person who died because of Hitler and the Holocaust. I cried when I saw the people that survived and after I listened to parts of their speaches and the students feelings about them. I had never heard anything about the Holocaust in my life. I didn't know what it was, when it was, who did what to whom, or where it all was. A middle school in Tennessee decided to research this horrific event and one student asked how many was 6 million. So after some research they decided to do paperclips because of the history that lies behind it. When the holocaust was going on people wore paperclips to represent who they were. Theres a lot of of detail, you might just wanna look into it yourself. So anyway, the school wrote to many people asking for paperclips. In the end they recieved over 11 million paperclips. Some of which were from Bill Cosbey, Bill Clinton, Jim Carey, and people thanking Anne Frank. Because of this I now have a desire to read the diary of Anne Frank. I never wanted to read the book because I always thought it was just a diary about WW2 but I might actually do some looking into it.
With that I'm going! my lips are chapped! see ya! loves to Dolly and Laura and Jen! xoxoxo
Friday, May 13, 2005
Lists... Good and Bad
Happy Sabbath guys!! Sabbath is almost in and I really want to find something to read and I need to find a pretty song to sing on the 21st for church cause Rick and Kimberly won't be in town so I am rescheduling my violin. If anyone has some suggestions of a good song that I could possibly learn fast and something that will be easy to get my hands on sheet music wise that'd be great.
This week was one of the better ones besides the negativity coming from a certain blog from my best friend. Monday was a normal day, Tuesday the 8th grd. went to Gettys. and I thought of lil miss Jen all day long then had a lil drama after colorguard. Wednessday I started a new prompt in Language Arts, Thursday we didn't have a teacher for Social Studies and we had a math test and Finally Friday I was feeling quite loved up until I realized Jen hadn't talked to me all week long and Doll wasn't around much this week either... :'(So anyway, Someone took some pix of Umphrey and I got a pic of Reimer and I so I'm happy about that. Between the 7th, 8th and a teacher I was getting hugs and lovin'. Got kisses from Shell and Britt too!!! :D Oh, and mom was being nice other than the drama on tues. Did I say Reimer gave me a great big hug at the end of the day today??? well, she did and it really made my day!
The downfalls of this week now. Mommy wasn't at school all week long because of a family member which I won't go into detail but If ya'll could pray that'd be great. Thanx! Mother dearest, my real mom that is, took all $500 out of my account last week without telling me. The 500 I was going to split between camp, shopping and gifts for Umphrey and who ever else whos bday is coming up. And then theres the stuff i said ealier this week...
Doll nor I was home much this week at the same time to chat either. Jen hasn't talked to me for a long while now and I'm feeling a lil neglected but not hurt but only cause its practically impossible for her to hurt me. I don't think she does it purposely, she's just busy. And then there's Deb. Darling Deb whos really ticking Nina off. I've tried calling all week last week and as much as i could this week and I haven't heard a single word from or about her. We both know she must be around and if shes not she would have found a way to call one of the two of us to let us know she's ok. so yea I'm done.. I erased the first entry cause it was too long and look this one is getting long too..
This week was one of the better ones besides the negativity coming from a certain blog from my best friend. Monday was a normal day, Tuesday the 8th grd. went to Gettys. and I thought of lil miss Jen all day long then had a lil drama after colorguard. Wednessday I started a new prompt in Language Arts, Thursday we didn't have a teacher for Social Studies and we had a math test and Finally Friday I was feeling quite loved up until I realized Jen hadn't talked to me all week long and Doll wasn't around much this week either... :'(So anyway, Someone took some pix of Umphrey and I got a pic of Reimer and I so I'm happy about that. Between the 7th, 8th and a teacher I was getting hugs and lovin'. Got kisses from Shell and Britt too!!! :D Oh, and mom was being nice other than the drama on tues. Did I say Reimer gave me a great big hug at the end of the day today??? well, she did and it really made my day!
The downfalls of this week now. Mommy wasn't at school all week long because of a family member which I won't go into detail but If ya'll could pray that'd be great. Thanx! Mother dearest, my real mom that is, took all $500 out of my account last week without telling me. The 500 I was going to split between camp, shopping and gifts for Umphrey and who ever else whos bday is coming up. And then theres the stuff i said ealier this week...
Doll nor I was home much this week at the same time to chat either. Jen hasn't talked to me for a long while now and I'm feeling a lil neglected but not hurt but only cause its practically impossible for her to hurt me. I don't think she does it purposely, she's just busy. And then there's Deb. Darling Deb whos really ticking Nina off. I've tried calling all week last week and as much as i could this week and I haven't heard a single word from or about her. We both know she must be around and if shes not she would have found a way to call one of the two of us to let us know she's ok. so yea I'm done.. I erased the first entry cause it was too long and look this one is getting long too..
Thursday, May 12, 2005
On Going Topic
I have just read one of my closest friends blog but I'm not sure if it'd be alright to comment. Not getting into detail though. But instead I have decided to just comment on my own. To continue my topic of Guys and how incredibly annoying they are. There are some good sides about guys.
U know who U are :
I will always love you no matter what and you know that. I understand completely how you feel being a christian and not wanting to show PDA. I personally hold absolutely nothing against you and hopefully this too will pass. It's ok to be sensitive about it. I am here 4 u 100%. I don't know the whole deal and honestly I'm a little confused about it all. Ya know what to do if ya ever need a friend though. Love you more! The Most!
Oh, now that I read this certain Bin comment I'm a even more confused. Listen to your heart and follow what you think is right. There isn't much more I can tell you but only because I do not follow this whole thing. From what I understand I wouldn't get too worked up about it. Try to blow it off and move on. I don't think any of us really care about whos done what in the past (on that subject). You know what I think of you and I stand to that! We all love you!
PS: I wasn't sure if it was in my place to comment but you know I worry and love u!!!
With that note on with Boys. I think they can be really sweet when they want to be. Most of the time, though, especially when they are in front of their friends they are completely different. They don't show much affection and can be snobby. There's some out there that are really cute too! (Jeremy) ;) Oh, and if you are talented you can push boys around and they'll do anything you tell them to do. And of course they are kissible but I won't go there! :P ;) Also when I'm around guys I can be pretty open and they won't really care and you can say what you want about them and they don't take it personally. I guess if i thought about it I could find other good things...
U know who U are :
I will always love you no matter what and you know that. I understand completely how you feel being a christian and not wanting to show PDA. I personally hold absolutely nothing against you and hopefully this too will pass. It's ok to be sensitive about it. I am here 4 u 100%. I don't know the whole deal and honestly I'm a little confused about it all. Ya know what to do if ya ever need a friend though. Love you more! The Most!
Oh, now that I read this certain Bin comment I'm a even more confused. Listen to your heart and follow what you think is right. There isn't much more I can tell you but only because I do not follow this whole thing. From what I understand I wouldn't get too worked up about it. Try to blow it off and move on. I don't think any of us really care about whos done what in the past (on that subject). You know what I think of you and I stand to that! We all love you!
PS: I wasn't sure if it was in my place to comment but you know I worry and love u!!!
With that note on with Boys. I think they can be really sweet when they want to be. Most of the time, though, especially when they are in front of their friends they are completely different. They don't show much affection and can be snobby. There's some out there that are really cute too! (Jeremy) ;) Oh, and if you are talented you can push boys around and they'll do anything you tell them to do. And of course they are kissible but I won't go there! :P ;) Also when I'm around guys I can be pretty open and they won't really care and you can say what you want about them and they don't take it personally. I guess if i thought about it I could find other good things...
Wednesday, May 11, 2005
Boys
Days are passing and my patience with boys are growing shorter and shorter. Is that ok? The guys in my school are soo immature and just don't know when to leave someone alone. And then there are those other guys that just wanna be all over you. They just wanna be close to you if u know what i mean. There's one that wants to hug and kiss and touch and all that stuff and i'm like hello! School grounds, female christian and look there's a teacher!! hehe I can't afford to get in trouble again. The first two times was over gum and a hallpass. And speaking of hallpasses, my school now is just like that highschool you were talking about, Mike. Highschool for me is going to be just like yours. The school is fairly large but not gigantic like Crossroads. Right now we have 4 minutes to get to our classes and we have a late bell as well and sometimes its difficult to get to class on time cause the 8th grade isn't allowed in the 6th grade hall so we have to walk all the way around in order to get to class. Most of the time I can get to class no problem though.
With the more important subject of Dolly I miss her a lot!! How many days has it been now? And I skipped lunch today too cause I can't find my money I put in my bookbag this morning. But not to worry I brought a smoothy with me and a bag of wheat thins so I munched on that through out the day. When I got home I ate some pizza and right now i'm trying to finish my gatorade. So anyway, Dolly I miss you!!!!! I hope I can catch you sometime this week!! I'm starving from not having a book to read too. I haven't been anywhere near that library for 2 weeks now and I'm dying. Mom isn't willing to take me so I'll find another way. I love you dear! I gotta go! I wanna call Ali and Matt cause Ali hasn't been at school all week so far. tootles for now!
With the more important subject of Dolly I miss her a lot!! How many days has it been now? And I skipped lunch today too cause I can't find my money I put in my bookbag this morning. But not to worry I brought a smoothy with me and a bag of wheat thins so I munched on that through out the day. When I got home I ate some pizza and right now i'm trying to finish my gatorade. So anyway, Dolly I miss you!!!!! I hope I can catch you sometime this week!! I'm starving from not having a book to read too. I haven't been anywhere near that library for 2 weeks now and I'm dying. Mom isn't willing to take me so I'll find another way. I love you dear! I gotta go! I wanna call Ali and Matt cause Ali hasn't been at school all week so far. tootles for now!
Tuesday, May 10, 2005
a LIL Drama never hurt anyone!
Well, all is done! I went to the concert and took my part in it tonight. After mom blaming her failures on me and telling me to go to ______ and _______ you and all this other stuff She went to put the lawn mower away and then came back refreshed and told me to get my butt in gear I'm going to the thing. Although mother dearest didn't stay I had an excellent time although I sorta faked my way through parts of some pieces cause we dramatically slowed down on Celtic, a lot more than what we've been practicing for the past month. Then there was the stand problems. We had the retarded music stand, the one of which can not hold itself up without some assistance of the very skilled Nicole! ;) After two pieces were done and over with then came the certificates for the qualifing 8th graders. Almost falling of stage catching myself and laughing 2 other girls and I went off stage and presented very beautiful flowers and I was supposed to speak but was soo nervous I couldn't speak. It was almost like replaying my 2year old childhood again not knowing how to form words quite yet. Stumbling to find words, my hero of the night stepped up and sayed what I was supposed to say and then recieved hugs and so on. The Chorus was up next!! 7th and 8th grade sang Phantom of the Opera!! OH YEA!!!! The BEST!!! ;) I love that movie! I wish I could see it in real life.. :( Never will it happen in my lifetime. Possibly but doubt. Anyway the concert didn't end until 8:50pm. It was long but I thought it was quite worth it. I'm glad I came. But no more concerts for me! I'm done! Through!! It's over!! Sad and happy at the same time. Sad that I will be leaving Mrs. Wentz but Happy I don't have to worry about transportation any more. That's unless of course I join some other thing afterschool activity. :)
I now think of the end of the year and all the memories I'll be leaving behind. Very sad but a positive thing as well. I will be leaving a lot of friends and a very dear friend of mine who I don't know where'd I be without. Not talking about Dolly but of course my Laura whom I love very much! Although both has been there for me and has supported and comforted me. Anyway, I'll be leaving a good/bad school to go to a prison for hopefully a year. I'm serious when I say prison!! There are absolutely no windows in this school! ne way g2g talk more tom.
I now think of the end of the year and all the memories I'll be leaving behind. Very sad but a positive thing as well. I will be leaving a lot of friends and a very dear friend of mine who I don't know where'd I be without. Not talking about Dolly but of course my Laura whom I love very much! Although both has been there for me and has supported and comforted me. Anyway, I'll be leaving a good/bad school to go to a prison for hopefully a year. I'm serious when I say prison!! There are absolutely no windows in this school! ne way g2g talk more tom.
(no title thats not potty mouth)
Just fill in the blanks as we go ok? Here wait, my title is "Out of Luck"
I'm really, really ____ ____ right now! This morning I tell my mom that I will call her if I don't have a ride to the concert. So I don't call her cause i have a ride with Kaylee. MY mom comes to the school and comes to pick me up knowing ____ well that she doesnt have the gas or money to take me back. So I come home with her. :( Kaylee's stepmom is probably confused why I didn't go home with them cause I asked them and she said yes no prob. So when I got in my mom's car she gave me a concerned/confused look. She has a pretty good idea what goes on in this family so she can't be totally lost. So anyway, When we get home i eat a bagel and then confirm to my mom that we don't have the gas. - not mentioning why couldn't i have just gone with kaylee. I didn't wanna tick her off because of her listening skills. I mean she was already in a bad mood cause she can't get this job. So then my mom calls my dad asking if he can take me to the concert which is a grade and I can't back out of or I fail. My dad says he can't take me cause he has no car. Next call is monica and she says she can't take me cause she's gotta pick up her parents. So I have no one else that lives close by that can come take me that is also going to the concert. So I'm not too ____ happy right now. So what I'm looking at is an F, no time to shine in an outside chair (although its back row.. :( worst i've ever done I might add!!), no certificate, no concert, and 2 people totally confused (kaylee and her stepmom). OH and me ending up missing out on Doll being online and really, really, really, really missing my Jen... :'( So unless my mom decides to take me and run out of gas or maybe the big guy upstairs does something I'm out of luck!!
I'm really, really ____ ____ right now! This morning I tell my mom that I will call her if I don't have a ride to the concert. So I don't call her cause i have a ride with Kaylee. MY mom comes to the school and comes to pick me up knowing ____ well that she doesnt have the gas or money to take me back. So I come home with her. :( Kaylee's stepmom is probably confused why I didn't go home with them cause I asked them and she said yes no prob. So when I got in my mom's car she gave me a concerned/confused look. She has a pretty good idea what goes on in this family so she can't be totally lost. So anyway, When we get home i eat a bagel and then confirm to my mom that we don't have the gas. - not mentioning why couldn't i have just gone with kaylee. I didn't wanna tick her off because of her listening skills. I mean she was already in a bad mood cause she can't get this job. So then my mom calls my dad asking if he can take me to the concert which is a grade and I can't back out of or I fail. My dad says he can't take me cause he has no car. Next call is monica and she says she can't take me cause she's gotta pick up her parents. So I have no one else that lives close by that can come take me that is also going to the concert. So I'm not too ____ happy right now. So what I'm looking at is an F, no time to shine in an outside chair (although its back row.. :( worst i've ever done I might add!!), no certificate, no concert, and 2 people totally confused (kaylee and her stepmom). OH and me ending up missing out on Doll being online and really, really, really, really missing my Jen... :'( So unless my mom decides to take me and run out of gas or maybe the big guy upstairs does something I'm out of luck!!
Monday, May 09, 2005
Here I come!
Gettysburg here I come! Tomorrow morning i'm off to Gettysburg civil war grounds I suppose. I will be thinking of Jen the whole time too i bet! I haven't heard from her for a long while now and so I am really starting to wonder about her, not worry though cause God takes care of her! :). Tomorrow I'll be getting my exercise walking all about climing and all sorts of good stuff! When that is all done I'll be grabbing a lunch in hope of finding a McDonalds to buy a parfait and then I'll be satisfied. Tonight I was given sixty dollars to spend and was supposed to keep 10 of that. I was unsuccessful in that task. I ended up spending all 60 dollars on 3 shirts, an IWORSHIP cd, socks, batteries, headphones and the very spongy flipflops I promised to buy!! :D:D:D I was aiming for the pink ones like doll has but I instead bought blue because there weren't any pink in my size. :( So i have a pair of oldnavy and the spongy flip flops which are both navy blue. I honestly think I'm becoming more and more like doll every day. Not sure if thats a good or bad thing though.. ;)
Also for tomorrow I have stupid colorguard and then I'll probably be heading home with Joleia and from her house back to school at 7 for the concert which is at 7:30. So for those of you who care I won't be home to speak with you unless you're willing to wait up until around 9ish (my time). which usually only 2 or 3 people speak to me after I get home. Also of which is all i need to complete my day. These certain three people are pretty much all i need to keep me happy and satisfied (that word doesnt look like its spelled correctly). :D
A busy day is ahead of me. I will be quite pleased to come home and take a nice hot shower and then jump in bed and drift off to la la land. I am excited to be in Gettys tom. just because I know Jen lives there and cause my fav. church is in Gettys.!! Although I've never been there a lot of my friends go there. Such as Mel. and Jen and julie and lil Katie and Karen and carmen and all those people! lots of them i just can't think of their names. que lastima!! :( ok night I should have been in bed 6 minutes ago!
Doll: Sorry I wasn't home ealier today I went shopping and argued with my mom. I will talk to you wednessday. Drop me a line or two and tell me whats new and how your week is goin'. I love u!! Kocham cie and Yo te amo and J'taime! hehehe
Also for tomorrow I have stupid colorguard and then I'll probably be heading home with Joleia and from her house back to school at 7 for the concert which is at 7:30. So for those of you who care I won't be home to speak with you unless you're willing to wait up until around 9ish (my time). which usually only 2 or 3 people speak to me after I get home. Also of which is all i need to complete my day. These certain three people are pretty much all i need to keep me happy and satisfied (that word doesnt look like its spelled correctly). :D
A busy day is ahead of me. I will be quite pleased to come home and take a nice hot shower and then jump in bed and drift off to la la land. I am excited to be in Gettys tom. just because I know Jen lives there and cause my fav. church is in Gettys.!! Although I've never been there a lot of my friends go there. Such as Mel. and Jen and julie and lil Katie and Karen and carmen and all those people! lots of them i just can't think of their names. que lastima!! :( ok night I should have been in bed 6 minutes ago!
Doll: Sorry I wasn't home ealier today I went shopping and argued with my mom. I will talk to you wednessday. Drop me a line or two and tell me whats new and how your week is goin'. I love u!! Kocham cie and Yo te amo and J'taime! hehehe
Sunday, May 08, 2005
Excercise for Your Brain!
1) 2x + 3y = 11
5x + 3y = 23
http://www.rodriguz.freeserve.co.uk/worksheets/Simultaneous%20equations.pdf
Here try some of these problems to give you brain a work out! I just learned how to do this a few seconds ago! A friend gave me a few prob. to try to figure out and I got the first one right! :) Unlike the second one.. She had to tell me how to do it! it was really confusing!
x(x + 1) = x.x + x.1 = x2 (exponet) + x
(y - 2x)x2 = y.x2 - 2x.x2 = x2y - 2x3 thats what it looked like in my head!! a whole bunch of numbers and X's!!
Ok Tuesday I probably wont be home until 9pm or so. During the day I'll be in Gettysburg visiting I guess where part of the civil war was fought or something. I don't even know to be honest! after school i have colorguard and then after that around 7 i have a concert to be at and that wont end until about 8:45 if i'm lucky!
For tomorrow I'm being taken to school to take my pole in and violin in. Then I might eat breakfast and after school mom said we might go shopping and from there to the library!! :D:D:D:D:D HOPEFULLY!!! PLEASE i NEED to go to the library before I forget how to read! I am in need of words and chapters and plots,climaxes, big words that i need to look up, fantasy, mystery and all that good stuff! i think i've actually found like 6 books i want! its sad and i have 2 weeks to read them all! well i'll probably spread it out 1 or 2 per week. If i really get into the book. maybe i'll reach 60 by the end of the year! like Doll! I doubt! thats over 1 book a week! Thers only like 52 weeks in one year. YOu do the math! ;)it'll take me 2 or 3 years to read 60 books!!
5x + 3y = 23
http://www.rodriguz.freeserve.co.uk/worksheets/Simultaneous%20equations.pdf
Here try some of these problems to give you brain a work out! I just learned how to do this a few seconds ago! A friend gave me a few prob. to try to figure out and I got the first one right! :) Unlike the second one.. She had to tell me how to do it! it was really confusing!
x(x + 1) = x.x + x.1 = x2 (exponet) + x
(y - 2x)x2 = y.x2 - 2x.x2 = x2y - 2x3 thats what it looked like in my head!! a whole bunch of numbers and X's!!
Ok Tuesday I probably wont be home until 9pm or so. During the day I'll be in Gettysburg visiting I guess where part of the civil war was fought or something. I don't even know to be honest! after school i have colorguard and then after that around 7 i have a concert to be at and that wont end until about 8:45 if i'm lucky!
For tomorrow I'm being taken to school to take my pole in and violin in. Then I might eat breakfast and after school mom said we might go shopping and from there to the library!! :D:D:D:D:D HOPEFULLY!!! PLEASE i NEED to go to the library before I forget how to read! I am in need of words and chapters and plots,climaxes, big words that i need to look up, fantasy, mystery and all that good stuff! i think i've actually found like 6 books i want! its sad and i have 2 weeks to read them all! well i'll probably spread it out 1 or 2 per week. If i really get into the book. maybe i'll reach 60 by the end of the year! like Doll! I doubt! thats over 1 book a week! Thers only like 52 weeks in one year. YOu do the math! ;)it'll take me 2 or 3 years to read 60 books!!
Friday, May 06, 2005
It's all Good
I think everythings alright for now. Hopefully it stays that way for a while! I don't enjoy stressing myself out and acting like its the end of the world. I have a tendency to do that.. :( I can't help it.. There's too many what ifs. A special thank you to Mike for keeping me in your prayers. I really appreciate it. :)
I've been working on a new poem but it hasn't gotten very far at all. I haven't been liking anything I write lately. I've lost my touch.. :( I don't have anything to really write about any more that hasn't already been expressed before. Its hard to write about "happy" things so I stick with gloomy sad things although i really try to make "happy" poems! I do! I've been scribbling down words a couple of times a day, sneaking it in during class or something. hold on.. Gonna eat a brownie..just what I need! ;) not!!More chocolate! Back. Ok this poem isn't even worth reading so I'm not gonna post it.
On Monday Laura won't be at school so I'll have to make it without her. And tomorrow I'm hoping to go play tomorrow at church to get the feel again being in front of people and just how it's going to sound. Nothing more to write about. latas..
Happy Sabbath to everyone around the world! Keep God #1! :P
I've been working on a new poem but it hasn't gotten very far at all. I haven't been liking anything I write lately. I've lost my touch.. :( I don't have anything to really write about any more that hasn't already been expressed before. Its hard to write about "happy" things so I stick with gloomy sad things although i really try to make "happy" poems! I do! I've been scribbling down words a couple of times a day, sneaking it in during class or something. hold on.. Gonna eat a brownie..just what I need! ;) not!!More chocolate! Back. Ok this poem isn't even worth reading so I'm not gonna post it.
On Monday Laura won't be at school so I'll have to make it without her. And tomorrow I'm hoping to go play tomorrow at church to get the feel again being in front of people and just how it's going to sound. Nothing more to write about. latas..
Happy Sabbath to everyone around the world! Keep God #1! :P
Thursday, May 05, 2005
Don't you miss this girl? Cause I know I do! I even miss the bossy part of her at camp! This is her and her hubby! Isn't he cute? ;) They make a wonderful couple. Love you lots! Missing you soo very much! When/if I see you I promise I'll plow you over with a great big hug! ;) You were my favorite councelor for years! You still are. If only you were to come back for a couple of days and visit me and the rest of us. Dolly doesn't count. She's my sis! ;) right doll?!?!
Confuzzled
Arriving home today walking up the hill with my headphones on mom comes around the corner talking but I not noticing what she's saying or to whom. I then figure out she's talking to me. which at that moment my CD player is mute. "Pardon?" Walk into the house. When I come out of the bathroom from cleaning off my face from my oils and such she gives me a hug. Confused too? Cause I know I am!! First shes mad with me and her and I both want to kill me and then she hugs me. I'm really confused.. A little lost. Accepting the hug and then come into my room and gather myself, figuring out what I need to do and which comes first. Didn't get far when Dorota appears on my messanger. Not going to even try to think about math or spanish. Ya'll should know the drill by now! Anyway, with whats happening in my life I accidently got people worried. I didn't even open my mouth either!!! No one knows whats up but are worried. for over a week now i've been lets say... quiet more so than normally. Two people have asked but I refuse to tell them whats going on. These two people specifically worry too much. Something like me if I heard something was wrong with one of my girls.- the grls whom i love very much! :P But all I said to one is not to worry about it. I'm fine and I've just been thinking and I sorta kinda wanna kill myself.. Not exact words but its what I meant. I figured I could trust that one person not to start anything or worry soo much that he won't leave me alone. But I didn't think he'd go off and tell some else. So now someone else is worried. Not what I wanted at all..:( I feel loved but I don't want people upset at me cause they think I don't trust them or that I don't love them as well. Quite the contrary. The one person I can definitely trust at school has been there for me. No namer. But lets just say I love this person very much! No it's not Dolly either! Although I love her just as much! And she knows it!! Don't u Doll?!? ;) anyway I'm going. I want to do some poetry. Loves! Missin' Mrs. U.. :'( may I just go up to her and tell her what I want her to know and it be over for me? Maybe after I go to hershey park. I already have 2 cards! if i get one more I can't go.. One for letting someone else use my hallpass and the other for chewing gum on the bus. Which isn't a rule!! It says no where that you can't chew gum on the bus. But i musent argue.
Wednesday, May 04, 2005
This too shall Pass...
my thoughts: :) :P
After much crying and crying and crying I am getting through this drama. With much support from three special friends of mine. One of which is looking down on me now watching over me! "I can do all things through God who strengthens me" I will not go into detail for it is WAY too long. But I can tell u I thought I would never live to see tomorrow or talk to Dollface ever again. :'( a very terrible thought. I rather die than not be allowed to be/talk/see Dolly ever again. I honestly think I have a death wish. Actually I'm pretty sure I do!! Any one that wants to take up the oppurtunity, get me on a bad day. Pick me. Oh, my mom said when i got home I willl not be going to teen camp. But It's not definite. She also said not camp at all but i doubt that'll happen. My grandma will be sure i go for at least one week. :D If i'm lucky two!! So pray that I can go and be close with God and "recharge my battteries" for both Doll and myself. :)
On the more positive side I got my computer back tonight :D :D :D :D I get to go to school tomorrow as far as I know and thats all I know. Right now I am just glad I'm making it through! To all of my friends and family I love you! I don't know if/when I will be online again. Keep me in thoughts and prayers. I will be thinking of most of you through my day which will be just enough to get me through. :)
With that I am signing off for now. All my love! God bless!
After much crying and crying and crying I am getting through this drama. With much support from three special friends of mine. One of which is looking down on me now watching over me! "I can do all things through God who strengthens me" I will not go into detail for it is WAY too long. But I can tell u I thought I would never live to see tomorrow or talk to Dollface ever again. :'( a very terrible thought. I rather die than not be allowed to be/talk/see Dolly ever again. I honestly think I have a death wish. Actually I'm pretty sure I do!! Any one that wants to take up the oppurtunity, get me on a bad day. Pick me. Oh, my mom said when i got home I willl not be going to teen camp. But It's not definite. She also said not camp at all but i doubt that'll happen. My grandma will be sure i go for at least one week. :D If i'm lucky two!! So pray that I can go and be close with God and "recharge my battteries" for both Doll and myself. :)
On the more positive side I got my computer back tonight :D :D :D :D I get to go to school tomorrow as far as I know and thats all I know. Right now I am just glad I'm making it through! To all of my friends and family I love you! I don't know if/when I will be online again. Keep me in thoughts and prayers. I will be thinking of most of you through my day which will be just enough to get me through. :)
With that I am signing off for now. All my love! God bless!
Tuesday, May 03, 2005
ok here goes!
ok! mom first of all thought/thinks i kissed ilgar (Mom's B/F) once again cause shawn said so. She believes him over me. Here I'm just going to shorten it. She wants the computer in the living room, took my webcam away, doesnt want the mic hooked up, wants my door left open at all times, taped my windows shut even though most of them aren't working anyway, performed a strip search, had a 14 hr. argument, took a pee test and i feel like i'm leaving stuff out.. oh! and on top of that she wanted my password to get on my settings, not like i have ne thing to hid but thats beside the point, invaded my privacy by doing all this, and read my journal/diary. She is also prob. going to attempt taking away all my friends, she has already started to not allow me to see family, and once she takes away the people I love most (Jen, Doll, Brenda, Kaylee, Emily, Jenny S, Laura ect.) I will not live. I might as well just shoot myself cause there will be no meaning to life as I know it besides to do Gods work. (it seems he hasn't been using me lately either. Just testing my stregth..) And I forgot she wanted to take me to the police station for a lie detector test and i told her i wanted her to! :D I'm not afraid for God is on my side and strengthing me as i think of him and Doll and making it through this. She said if she ever caught me in another lie-which btw i have NEVER lied to my mom in my life! really!! i promised her i wouldn't when i was just 9 or 10 yrs. old. I keep my promises!-she'd kill me herself. To this i said let me save you the trouble and I'll do it myself so then u don't have to go to jail for murder. Do not be alarmed people but i took the nearest sharp object, a nail file, and started to attemp cutting my wrist with it. As I said do not be alarmed!! I didn't actually bleed or make ne deep or lasting cuts. It wasn't even a cut. It hurts too much anyway. I will not do it i'm almost sure.
While in my eco ditching it, to type up my blog entry, Eric erased it on purpose. I then just wanted to beat him. I haven't had any patience lately for any boys what so ever. Most of them in my section know not to mess with me - all but one. I think he just enjoys pushing my buttons. Now mind, I am not like this on the normal basis but with what is going on which seems silly to most of you but makes an impact on me. peace! i'm tired of typing..
While in my eco ditching it, to type up my blog entry, Eric erased it on purpose. I then just wanted to beat him. I haven't had any patience lately for any boys what so ever. Most of them in my section know not to mess with me - all but one. I think he just enjoys pushing my buttons. Now mind, I am not like this on the normal basis but with what is going on which seems silly to most of you but makes an impact on me. peace! i'm tired of typing..
Monday, May 02, 2005
Life is over
as of today I am almost sure my social life and private life is over. Mother dearest wants my computer out in the living room. This means no talking to ne one pretty much no matter what I'm talking about. Can i just shoot myself now? really.. She's done everything possible to destroy me. Shes taken away all my friends practically, .....O ludzie!!! Mr. Eric wants a beating doesn't he!? he just deleted everythin on this page! So if you wanna know if i'll be alive tomorrow i guess you'll have to suffer and read the paper!! ;) (not having the greatest day..)
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