ok! mom first of all thought/thinks i kissed ilgar (Mom's B/F) once again cause shawn said so. She believes him over me. Here I'm just going to shorten it. She wants the computer in the living room, took my webcam away, doesnt want the mic hooked up, wants my door left open at all times, taped my windows shut even though most of them aren't working anyway, performed a strip search, had a 14 hr. argument, took a pee test and i feel like i'm leaving stuff out.. oh! and on top of that she wanted my password to get on my settings, not like i have ne thing to hid but thats beside the point, invaded my privacy by doing all this, and read my journal/diary. She is also prob. going to attempt taking away all my friends, she has already started to not allow me to see family, and once she takes away the people I love most (Jen, Doll, Brenda, Kaylee, Emily, Jenny S, Laura ect.) I will not live. I might as well just shoot myself cause there will be no meaning to life as I know it besides to do Gods work. (it seems he hasn't been using me lately either. Just testing my stregth..) And I forgot she wanted to take me to the police station for a lie detector test and i told her i wanted her to! :D I'm not afraid for God is on my side and strengthing me as i think of him and Doll and making it through this. She said if she ever caught me in another lie-which btw i have NEVER lied to my mom in my life! really!! i promised her i wouldn't when i was just 9 or 10 yrs. old. I keep my promises!-she'd kill me herself. To this i said let me save you the trouble and I'll do it myself so then u don't have to go to jail for murder. Do not be alarmed people but i took the nearest sharp object, a nail file, and started to attemp cutting my wrist with it. As I said do not be alarmed!! I didn't actually bleed or make ne deep or lasting cuts. It wasn't even a cut. It hurts too much anyway. I will not do it i'm almost sure.
While in my eco ditching it, to type up my blog entry, Eric erased it on purpose. I then just wanted to beat him. I haven't had any patience lately for any boys what so ever. Most of them in my section know not to mess with me - all but one. I think he just enjoys pushing my buttons. Now mind, I am not like this on the normal basis but with what is going on which seems silly to most of you but makes an impact on me. peace! i'm tired of typing..
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