Confuzzled

Arriving home today walking up the hill with my headphones on mom comes around the corner talking but I not noticing what she's saying or to whom. I then figure out she's talking to me. which at that moment my CD player is mute. "Pardon?" Walk into the house. When I come out of the bathroom from cleaning off my face from my oils and such she gives me a hug. Confused too? Cause I know I am!! First shes mad with me and her and I both want to kill me and then she hugs me. I'm really confused.. A little lost. Accepting the hug and then come into my room and gather myself, figuring out what I need to do and which comes first. Didn't get far when Dorota appears on my messanger. Not going to even try to think about math or spanish. Ya'll should know the drill by now! Anyway, with whats happening in my life I accidently got people worried. I didn't even open my mouth either!!! No one knows whats up but are worried. for over a week now i've been lets say... quiet more so than normally. Two people have asked but I refuse to tell them whats going on. These two people specifically worry too much. Something like me if I heard something was wrong with one of my girls.- the grls whom i love very much! :P But all I said to one is not to worry about it. I'm fine and I've just been thinking and I sorta kinda wanna kill myself.. Not exact words but its what I meant. I figured I could trust that one person not to start anything or worry soo much that he won't leave me alone. But I didn't think he'd go off and tell some else. So now someone else is worried. Not what I wanted at all..:( I feel loved but I don't want people upset at me cause they think I don't trust them or that I don't love them as well. Quite the contrary. The one person I can definitely trust at school has been there for me. No namer. But lets just say I love this person very much! No it's not Dolly either! Although I love her just as much! And she knows it!! Don't u Doll?!? ;) anyway I'm going. I want to do some poetry. Loves! Missin' Mrs. U.. :'( may I just go up to her and tell her what I want her to know and it be over for me? Maybe after I go to hershey park. I already have 2 cards! if i get one more I can't go.. One for letting someone else use my hallpass and the other for chewing gum on the bus. Which isn't a rule!! It says no where that you can't chew gum on the bus. But i musent argue.