we actually do play like that. its kinda cute how alike we are sometimes. I don't mean the facial expressions. I mean, if our car (for example) is turning then we move our hands like that.

Did I mention that is MY Brother's hoodie? It's kinda awesome I can fit in his clothes.

The heart wasn't entirely on purpose. It started looking like i heart and then i just finished it. hehe

My pie finished. I'm scared to eat it but mom says its good.

Enneagram

Enneagram Test Results Type 1 Perfectionism |||||||||||||||| 66% Type 2 Helpfulness |||||||||||||||| 66% Type 3 Image Focus |||||||||||||| 54% Type 4 Hypersensitivity |||| 14% Type 5 Detachment |||||||||| 34% Type 6 Anxiety |||||||||||||| 58% Type 7 Adventurousness |||||||||||||| 58% Type 8 Aggressiveness |||||| 30% Type 9 Calmness |||||||||||||| 54% Your main type is 1 Your variant is social

Take Free Enneagram Personality Test

Main Type	Overall Self

Take Free Enneagram Personality Test

JWD...

If the world were to end in 2012, I have not wasted my life in school.

Rather spent it learning all I am capable of, experiencing happiness and joy as I find it and developing my moral values to reflect the person whom I sing praise to, to continually challenge myself to not think or follow others where they might want me to. (and doing WWJD) So, no I have not wasted my life in school.

Birthday Dinner

An Adventuresome evening with the ladies at Provinos included two birthdays of the week and many upond many pictures :-) We may all have been a little more blind from the flash photography by the end of the evening.

Like my purse? ;-) Another day out and three more people had taken my purse to look at in amazement followed by more compliments. A purse big enough to keep gloss and a phone and a few cards.

Craving me a good love story

The End

Practice Your Hebrew

רק שתדע, קראת לי. אני לא קורא לך. אני אוהב אותך אבל אני מנסה לעשות את הדבר הנכון כאן.

כדי לראות את השם שלך על הטלפון שלי, לשמוע את הקול שלך שוב לראות אותך עומד מולי שוב. אני לא יכול להתמודד עם זה עכשיו. אתה לתסכל אותי.

סוף

אני רוצה לעשות מה ישוע היה עושה.

"i believe all math stinks like a dirty sock" -Charity

I am... the house maid, the babysitter, the peacemaker, the cook, the drama queen, the girl to chill with, the shopping buddy, the listening ear, the pet caretaker, the pet groomer, the laundry lady, and the morning smile (depending on who and what wakes me).
On occasion, I'm also a nightmare, a crab and a hypocrite.. like today

"lets run away- go for thai and then hit the beach"

ha i'm a t-shirt bra type of girl doll. :-) but lets not go into details. the wrong ears might hear and think i'm of the devil

Book List
Atlas Shrugged- Ayn Rand
A Suitable Boy- Vikram Seth

Thoughts for the day

What is one word to describe what you want the most right now?
- One Tree Hill 1.2

I will be there for you-always- all i want you to do is ask. I can't come running if you don't ask. Even if i can do nothing else but listen, know i'll be the best listener i can be. -oasis

it's kind of like Jesus when He tells us he's always there we just need to ask for him.

Jesus wants to take all that pain away, the stress, anxiety-everything. He would rather bare it all, rather than watch you go through it. That's what it is like.


Truth is, Reality can be so much better than any of my dreams

I'm in the mood for that rock/alternative music.

"Can you paint with all the colors of the wind?"- Pocahontas.

"if i could break this spell...for longer than forever... :-))" -swan princess

I love you- i do

If School isn't the death of me, you will be

Forgive me for being so forward, good sir

there's a difference between war and justice

I don't want to get into a career that will make me vindictive

The irony is that my number one result today on my career options was nurse practitioner.

As much as i want to be happy with you, i want to be happy without you.

100 things- please don't forget about it

Laugh a little- it makes the world a better place.

Appreciate me even if i'm not your version of perfect.

i want to claim this right now... I started skyping BEFORE everyone else decided it was cool.

Thank you

Good night

PS. Oasis and palm trees.... cowboys and superheroes- xoxo

The Nothings

I'll work hard

Commit myself too

I'm doing well, thank you

Please don't ruin your life with such things...

My heart breaks every time you think such things

Somewhere, I think I had somehow done something wrong

Forgive me

I miss you.... My best friend

I want to move on

You are prince charming, I just don't know if you're my prince charming

I'm glad you're happy, you're just not making smart decisions

Before Bed

1. First thing you wash in the shower?
hair.

2. What color is your favorite hoodie?
green

3. Would you kiss the last person you kissed again?
not now, i wouldn't. in the far future possibly

4.Do you plan outfits?
sometimes

5. How are you feeling RIGHT now?
no

6. Whats the closest thing to you thats red?
aromatherapy sensual body lotion from b+bw

7. Do you say aim or a-i-m?
the second.

8. Tell me about the last dream you remember having?
i don't...

9. Did you meet anybody new today?
yuppers, like 5 new ppl

10. What are you craving right now?
sleep

11. Do you floss? ..
not as much as i used to

12. What comes to mind when I say cabbage?
food, nana ampon

13. When was the last time you talked on aim and who were you talking to?
a few weeks ago i talked to scott and Tyler...

14. Are you emotional?
i can be VERY- watch out for that.

15. Would you dance to the taco song?
no...well..perhaps...

16. Have you ever counted to 1,000?
yes

17. Do you bite into your ice cream or just lick it?
lick it.

18. Do you like your hair?
not so much...some days

19. Do you like yourself?
most of the time i can appreciate myself

20. Have you ever met a celebrity?
i met someone today that looks like a celebrity!

21. Do you like cottage cheese?
nope...weird texture

22. What are you listening to right now?
A/C running

23. How many countries have you visited?
none.


24. Are your parents strict?
doesn't matter

25. Would you go sky diving?
Yes

26. Would you go out to eat with George W. Bush?
of course, i could potentially learn something...

27. Would you throw potatoes at him?
umm... if we happened upon a random food fight

28. Is there anything sparkly in the room you’re in?
my lotion

29. Have you ever been in a castle?
a type of castle ;-)

30. Do you rent movies often?
no.

31. Who sits in behind you in your math class?
i don't have math class

32. Have you made a prank phone call?
no, i can't do those things.

33. Do you own a gun?
I don't but there are shot guns in my house

34. Can you count backwards from 74?
of course

35. Who are you going to be with tonight?
i was with so many ppl tonight...

36. Brown or white eggs?
hmmm.... what's the difference?

37. Do you own something from Hot Topic?
YES, those big black gothic pants, nail polish, gloves- that's it

38. Ever been on a train?
If the metro counts

39. Ever been in love?
i don't know for sure.. i know that i love the person

40. Do you have a cell-phone?
yes;

41. Are you too forgiving?
i don't know..

42. Do you use chap stick?
ALL THE TIME

43. What is your best friend doing tomorrow?
sleeping

44. Can you use chop sticks?
umm.... i think i can

45. Ever have cream puffs?
?

46. Have you ever seen The Butterfly Effect?
yep.

47. What was the last question you asked?
Would you drive us home now?

48. What was the last CD you bought?
David Crowder... i think...

49. Boys or girls?
MEN

50. What is your bus number for school?
it used to be 59

51. Is your hair curly?
unfortunately not...

52. Last time you cried?
yesterday for a moment

53. Ever walked into a wall?
no?

54. Do looks matter?
a little

55. Have you ever bought anything from Pac Sun?
no.

56. Have you ever slapped someone?
yes

57. Favorite time of the year?
when the seasons change

58. Favorite color?
purple, blue, white

59. Are you sarcastic?
unfortunately...

60. Do you have any tattoos?
no thank you

61. The last person you held hands with?
ugh...

62. Do you sleep with the TV on?
if i have one to fall asleep to

63. Where was your default picture taken at?
skip

64. Do you hate or dislike more than 3 people?
no

65. Do you like your life right now?
It's alright- Jesus is in it so yea

66. How often do you talk on the phone?
daily.

67. What is your favorite animal?
..... too tired to think about it

68. What was the most recent thing you bought?
pumpkin spice latte from starbucks

69. Do you have good vision?
15/20

70. Can you hula hoop?
used to compete against Ems

71. Could you ever forgive a cheater?
yes

72. Do you have a job?
yes

73. Can you handle the truth?
sure, have something on your mind?

74. What are you wearing?
hoodie

75. Have you ever crawled through a window?
many a times

Life

I must move past this none-sense with him.... not that anything bad is happening just that i gotta get over it

I am pretty darn good at finding the good guys and knowing off the bat if they could have potential.
I've gone on so many dates, i don't have enough fingers to count them anymore
Seeing 'ahem' only stirs up feelings again that i work so hard to kill during my week....(trails off into thought...)
I found an awesome Jesus spot today along the TN river near a dock (=
Jesus dates are a necessity in my life - especially if I want to stay focused!

A+P s REALLY boring but its nice to have a cool teacher and i like labs (=
I love having Tuesdays and Thursdays available to me.
I FINALLY have a job- in the call center...
i pretty much love wearing my hoodie and socks and drinking naked
I am turning off my phone because i don't want to receive any message of any sort from anyone for 24 hours! ...well i do have to figure out where i'm meeting someone tomorrow... that might pose a problem- so i'll turn it back on to do that.

I really want a dog and ferrets are cool animals too except they're mischievous.

My aromatherapy calms me (=

dean martin, josh groban, michael buble...

Wishes for starry skies and Jesus and I love yous
One more thing, hugs

So someone found these online, i've adopted them as well. Once given the chance i have cool plans to make a scrapbook out of the ones i like... tehe.

And...

A notes from Jesus... picked it up from Genesis

"you are worthy, not for what you do, how you look,

or what you own... but because I made you."

The Fish-Bowl

After lunch, 'Hobbes' and I went to the Chatt. Aquarium to soak up the wonderfulness.
Thanks to my handy phone, i had the chance to capture a few pictures- i will revisit in the future (no worries).
Above, is a cuttle(cuddle*) fish, which is one of my many nick-names now. I never really knew much about them, nor do i now, however, since i now have seen them and am a little familiar, i pretty much love them. They're not the cutest but are kinda cool. They can change colors, and they are night creatures.
These wonderful/horrible creatures (see seven pounds-a movie) have been a pretty cool entertainment as well. That's really a pink jellyfish by the by.

I also saw otters! wonderful cute little otters in the very beginning of the aquarium. I didn't think to take pictures and the camera on my phone would not suffice for such action. I LOVE river otters like nobodies business. I stood and watched them in amazement and walked around and saw more!! It was a beautiful thing. I wish i could just chill in the water with them, they look like such fun. From what i read they were also more on the nocturnal side. I'm okay with that too. :-))

I also had a chance to pet a few random fish (long fish), saw some snakes, went through a butterfly garden, held a butterfly too; and pet a sting ray. I'm not joking- It was completely safe.

And i just have to throw this in there...

I almost got ran over by a car, could have been a truck if i went a few minutes later- a blue truck. Anyway- skipped stones- my first actual accomplishment of said task. I only skipped it twice but still it was great :-).

Hobbes and I went for some really amazing soft serve ice cream where they mixed the ingredients right there.

oh and some random ppl hollered something at us as we were walking... twice actually- whatever.

Let's see...

So pretty much- today was great (=

I've been wanting to get to know Hobbes for a week or so now and hang out with him and i'm sure glad we did. We click pretty well- enjoy pretty much all the same stuff- its craziness. I don't know what to compare him to but he's cool.

As a side note, if you ever come to TN, bring bug spray- i think i have a total of 14 bug bites now. I think all of them or mosquitos.

So since been here, this my collection of nick-names i've collected since senior year...

Cuddle fish

Palm tree

Jane (from Tarzan)

I'm an otter (a river otter)

nik-fish

bubba brewski ( i have no idea how i got that one)

kikki

nickel

i'm also a 'druggie' (umm... that one- its cause i used to take double the reg. amount of straight-up Ib profen every few days)

Nemo

Nikk squared or N(squared)

Then some ppl do the pet name thing but i'm picky on who... (dearie, dear, sweety, and beautiful)

My favorites have to be cuttle(cuddle) fish and Jane but i've warmed up to Nemo as well.

haha now i'm totally drawing a blank... theres like 2 more... i don't even know... (=

I'm doing a star wars marathon tonight and then if i can find pocahontas I'll do that. (=

Morning Inbox

Don t Give Up
	Patient endurance is what you need now, so that you will continue to do God’s will. Then you will receive all that he has promised. Hebrews 10:36
	Effective leaders accomplish seemingly impossible tasks because they never give up. They never buckle under. Despite mounting criticism, intense opposition, and overwhelming obstacles, they persevere with determined resolve. They refuse to throw in the towel. Often, the easiest thing would be to quit. Just give up. Forget about one’s dream and return to the comfort and convenience of mediocrity. Give in to the words of the critics, give up to the opposition, and give way to the obstacles. Simply tuck tail and run away. Great power is embodied in persistence. The race is not always won by the fastest, nor the game by the strongest, but rather by the one who keeps on keeping on, who refuses to give up. Consider the postage stamp. Its usefulness consists in the ability to stick to one thing till it gets there. Race car driver Rick Mears said, "To finish first you must first finish." It is always too soon to quit. One of the most powerful and destructive tools that Satan has in his arsenal is discouragement, the subtle but dangerous compulsion to give up, to quit, saying, "What's the use?" When you are tempted to quit: resist. We must endure in the battle until the evil day is over. We must press on in the face of the temptation to quit. Until the war is over, we must fight to the end. Until the race is finished, we must keep running. Until the wall is built, we must keep stacking bricks. Never give up. Never. The promises of God are always at the end.

man.. i don't know what this is, but i still can't sleep.
I think and then my heart won't allow me such things
please just make this go away- complications are unnecessary.
I wake up and wonder how it can be so disturbing that my sleep patterns are out of wack,
pillows will wake me up, or lack of pillows could wake me up
I'm either too hot or too cold
My heart either hurts or my legs itch
My eyes are too puffy or my knees are



"what is love?! baby don't hurt me..what else can I say..." -haddaway

So...

It can not be- it will not be

I must listen

walk away

Leave it on the stand

And keep bible in hand...

Thank you friend, for being there for me

Helping me find my way

It pains me to do this- again

Fifty-Nifty

Fifty little secrets.
Be honest no matter what.


Zero - Who was your last text from?
Carlita

One - Where was your default pic taken?(on myspace/Facebook)
washing DC/At aunt Sandy's house

Two - When was your last kiss?
roughtly at the beginning of summer... prob right before camp meeting..

Three - Have you ever lost a close friend?
yes.... i don't wan to talk about it..

Four - What is your current mood?
joyous- for the nice box, hand-picked rose, and love ( to say the least)

Five - What's your brother(s) names?
Shawn and David

Six - Where do you wish you were right now?
next to a piano listening to Justin play... at a symphony....under the stars on a sail boat with no other..as long as i know... (= .. one day!

Seven - Have a crazy side?
tehee you could say that

Eight - Ever had a near death experience?
possibly

Nine - Something you do a lot?
giggle, and say truth

Ten - Angry at anyone?
nope

Eleven - What's stopping you from going for the person you like?
love

Twelve - When was the last time you cried?
today

Thirteen - Is there anyone you would do anything for?
yes

Fourteen - Who do you think about when you are falling asleep?
depends.
who? depends.. mostly only one certain person but then i decide that Jesus is the better option of the two

Seventeen- Who was the last person you talked to on the phone?
Vocally- malcom.. texting- CARLITA!

Eighteen- What is your favorite song?
DC* - a beautiful collision
Yo-yo ma... pretty much everything right now
i'm liking jazz music right now too
and this song by sick puppies

Nineteen- What are you doing right now?
this, texting nick, watching tv.

Twenty- Who do you trust right now?
Wow, that's a pretty difficult question, with everything? hmm.. kyle comes to mind...i'd like to say dolly as well but it's been so long.. on other things, depending on what, i could say Justin, prob Liz, and prob. emily

Twenty one- what was your last dream about?
heehee- you don't wanna know. (=

Twenty five- Who are you thinking of right now?
Lizzie

Twenty six- What should you be doing right now?
hmm... it doesn't matter

Twenty seven- What are you listening to?
ACDC

Twenty nine- Who was the last person who yelled at you?
my brother

Thirty - Do you act differently around the person you like?
umm... well i used to get clumsy, and i always forgot my keys and i'd smile a lot

Thirty one- What is your natural hair color?
dark brown

Thirty two- Who was the last person to make you laugh?
liz

Thirty three- Who was the last person to make you sad?
last person... dunno- last thing was career choices and flames

Thirty five- Is your hair naturally curly or straight?
Pin straight

Thirty six- Has anyone ever called you "scrumptious" before?
not scrumptious..

Thirty eight- Gone skinny dipping this summer?
nope! should I? it's still pretty warm!

Thirty nine- Do you use smiley faces on the computer?
sure do. :)

Forty -Have you ever changed clothes in a vehicle?
yess. haha almost did tonight

Forty one - Are you happy with life right now?
eh- glass is half full

Forty two- Are you currently jealous?
no- yes- so i'm told

Forty four - What are you doing Friday night?
well last friday- which was 2 days ago... i was glowing and sad at the same time. Next friday, vespers, meeting people

Forty five- Have you ever had your heart broken?
half broken- no, yea, i've had it broken but not necessarily by a guy

Forty six- Have you ever broken someone's heart?
so i've been told.

Forty seven- Is there anybody you're really disappointed in right now?
yes...

Forty Eight- What are you looking forward to?
sunny skies

Forty nine- How late did you stay up last night and why?
don't know.

Fifty- Does anyone like you right now?
yup- a few from what i'm told..

pshh

This is how i block my brain cells from going overloading with everything

If you could, would you hookup with the last person you texted?
never... wait... who was the last person... nope... never

The past 72 hours have you been under the influence?
neverland....

What were you doing at ten last night?
talking it up with Liz- she makes me feel better :-)

What was the last thing you drank?
agua

Did you have a dream last night?
i don't think so

When was the last time you cried really really hard?
umm... in about 30 minutes.. i prob might be


Have you ever broken someone's heart?
so i've been told.

What made you mad/upset today?
upset? knowing theres a bunch more people coming and i dont think i care for that too much- that i have no idea what i should do with my life... that this one kid is getting rather annoying, that i need to be okay with certain things and i'm not and i dont know how to fix it or if i really want to. that i really do make excuses for myself and its unacceptable. that i'm not spiritually in tune and that Carly is so far away and that i'm pmsing..

Do you think you can last in a relationship for 3 months?
of course- i would start one unless i thought it would last


What's something you can't wait for?
to be happy- and to get a puppy!

What's something you CAN wait for?
all these people and hearing my heart break too many times

What time did you go to sleep last night?
something like 11 or 12...

Do you own more than one cell phone?
yes.. only one of them are activated.

What are you doing at this very second?
this.

Girls are bitches, am I right?
some are- some aren't

Are you taller than your mom?
not quite

Would you rather watch football or baseball?
football

When you last got dressed, did you put on your bottoms or your top first?
bottoms

Have you ever poured glue on your hand just to peel it off for fun?
hehe- guilty! :-) math class

How many people do you know with your name?
uh- four or more

Do you ever turn your cell phone off?
definitely at least twice a week (including weekends)

Are you wearing anything you borrowed from someone?
nope.

When are you usually on the phone?
at night

What is the last thing you bought someone?
i bought my brother an envelope, kyle: take 5, and.... i think thats it

What's on your mind?
figuring out what IS on my mind.. and not wanting to know what i might think of

What are you listening to?
the ac running

Do you call it fall or autumn?
depends

Are you feeling guilty about anything right now?
nope

Are you texting anyone?
nope

What is the closest thing to you that is blue?
phone, water bottle, bottom of skirt, computer- they're all about the same distance away from me

Do you believe that there's good in everybody?
Yes

How did you start off your day?
rolling over and realizing i have a few hours before i MUST get out of bed

Last MySpace message you received?
from emily..

Do you hate the last girl, other than family, you talked to?
nope

Where are your parents?
in Pa, inside the house prob. vegitating.

When was the last time you had a headache?
yesterday

What's a fact about the last person that texted you?
she's going to SAU and leaving in about 5 minutes

When is the next time you'll see the second person on your top?
dunno... some time

Have you kissed the same person more than 5 times in 09?
yes

Your phone rings, what do you say?
hello?

Where was the last place you fell asleep other than your bed?
in someones arms i think... that was long ago!

Are you dating the person you texted last?
no

Ever licked someone's cheek?
YES

What do you currently hear right now?
Abby laughing

What were you doing at midnight last night?
sleeping perhaps

Do you think you are pregnant?
still a virgin!! i 'm not mary!

Do you currently have a hickey?
no- i dont really do on purpose either!

What woke you up this morning?
stupid lawn mower...

Ever kissed someone starting with A?
never...

Can you go in public looking like you do?
duh! i always think i loook good! ;-) jk

Are you an alcoholic?
def not

Is it easy for someone to make you smile/laugh?
usually

Ever dated a blond-haired, blue-eyed person?
NEVER

What is your current annoyance?
you

What is something your friends make fun of you for?
how i say on and off

What are you stressed out about?
so much..

When will your next kiss be?
my brother will prob send me kisses next year! so a LONG time from now

Did you ever like someone you know you shouldn't have?
yess.

Who was the last person to lay in bed with you?
first thought is aw... and second one in order to answer the question abby... and no we were not cuddling!

Is tomorrow gonna be a good day?
i hope so.

For Emms

1. What is your best friends name?
Emily, Kyle, Doll
2. What color underwear/boxers wearing now?
Pink/white
3. What are you listening to right now?
Mansfield Park
4. Whats your favorite number?
mmm.... first that comes to mind is 27 and 43
5. What was the last thing you ate?
popcorn
6. If you were a crayon what color would you be?
maroon
7. How is the weather right now?
pleasant, yet cloudy.. a little moist- perhaps...
8. Who was the last person you talked 2 on the phone?
Malcom... i think... last person i texted though was MK about 20 min ago.
9. The first thing you notice about the opposite sex?
whether or not he's trying to hit on me... not cool
10. Do you have a significant other?
perhaps... (= Someone i consider to be significant
11. Favorite TV show?
tough one... bewitched, i dream of jeannie, friends, bones...
12. Siblings?
multiple but my only blood brother is my younger and very loved Shawn.
13. Height?
5ft with a few hairs
14. Hair color?
Some shade of brown
15. Eye Color?
Brown with hints of other colors depending on my mood
16. Do you wear contacts?
nope- my eyes don't like them
17. Favorite Holiday?
Valentines Day would be in the rankings... love is good even if its not towards a significant other
18. Month?
Perhaps April
19. Have you ever cried for no reason?
yuppers- i'm a girl... My apologies to anyone who i have hindered by such tears.
20. What was the last movie you watched?
Shopaholic?
21. Favorite Day of the Year?
I don't think i have one and if i did it would be my anniversary once i have one
22. Are you too shy to ask someone out?
nope.
23. Can you do a headstand (not using the wall)?
for like a second
24. Hugs or Kisses?
depends on the person- someone i'm close to id go for kisses everyone else, lets keep the hands to thyself.
25. Chocolate or Vanilla?
vanilla.
26. Do you want your friends to respond to this?
what is there to respond to?
27. Who is most likely to respond?
carlita
28. Who is least likely to respond?
Piotr
29. What books are you reading?
Mansfield Park, Dear John, A+P
30. Piercings?
Ears
31. Favorite movies?
.... Beauty and the Beast, Matilda, Beautiful mind (pretty close to tops), Nooma short videos..
32. Favorite football Team?
I enjoy Steelers games and anything i can see from the sidelines
33. what were u doing before this?
undressing
34. Butter, Plain or Salted popcorn?
cheddar
37. Dogs or cats?
dogs.
38. Favorite flower?
i used to like cala lillies but now i am not sure again.-its not important enough to make the time to develop an opinion over.
39. Been caught doing something you weren't supposed to do?
probably- nothing i regret though- nothing that comes to mind
40. Do you have a best friend of the opposite sex?
yes.
41. Have you ever loved someone?
Definitely- many
42. Who would you like to see right now?
Emily....I miss her soo much..... :'(
43. Are you still friends with people from kindergarten?
yuppers :-)
44. Have you ever fired a gun?
umm.. no? i wouldnt mind if i had earplugs
45. Do you like to travel by plane?
TRUTH! Jesus really knew what he was doing!
46. Right-handed or Left-handed?
Righty
47. How many pillows do you sleep with?
Right now three
48. Are you missing someone?
Incredibly... and mult people... two of which i'm tearing up over at this moment...
49. Do you have a Tattoo?
NO THANK YOU
50. Anybody on myspace that you'd go on a date with?
who needs myspace when we've got facebook. ;-) it's all overrated... or at least i'm starting to feel that way. We have cell phones and US postal service for a reason. :-)

i love these moments where i can be there for you and with you and still be happy for you.-Selflessly....at least a good deal selflessly
Having this unheard of ability (God-Sent) to be loving and understanding while sitting the sidelines.

I love listening to you- about everything you want to say and the things you don't say ( yes, i do pick up on those things too)

Thank You God- it must be pretty cool being him cause he gets to do that all the time- know the things we don't say (both good and not so good).

New Shirt and New hair :-)

My brother would be proud (-;

Sometimes i feel i'm better off this way but other times the feeling is mutual.. catch my drift? hehe

and sometimes my heart could burst (DC) the heart breaking makes a sound so beautiful...

(FOCUS)- Ford Focus ;-)

Check it- proverbs ( 3:4-5; 4:23-27;3:5,6) and everything else (-:

Say yes to Dean Martin!

Sigh to Dark hair

No cry fests for me

And, once again, I acknowledge that I, Nicole Fisher, am selfish.

You ask what do I want from you?

I want nothing FROM you

Studying is NOT overrated.

There are 31 pairs of spinal nerves

Some lovers try positions that they cant handle

and

Tall Californian Navy Medical Interns lay Cuties (they’re mnemonics)

Its 11:10pm and I am without internet because of the studying and reloading of one webpage that would not load for the life of me.. until an hour ago.

David Crowder calms the soul

TRUTH- once loved always loved; hasn’t proved wrong yet

Less than ten days until the semester is over! HURRAY!! And not hurray for the C I currently hold in A+P…

Apples are Yummy and Naked is expensive

Be difficult- it’ll be a challenge I will overcome!

Saxophones and music are wonderful

I have seen my fair share of cockroaches and frogs in the last few weeks here and neither makes my friends list.

Teaching is cool but doesn’t pay and Dental is cool but is difficult to go to school for… Which to choose….

And thinking of my brother makes me cry… I miss him…

Remember EVERYTHING!!

Prayers for Carol and Beauty. (two people)

Sing me a song, my dear and smiles will follow

Kyle’s bass voice makes me giggle

Comfy beds and cuddling are two fundamentals when I get married or at least the first when I have a place to call my own.

Singing makes a happy heart and hugs calm the nerves- medically proven facts!

Have I created an exhausted list yet?

Many times I would love to make beautiful music

Can’t wait for Sabbath to come… sort of…

Boys are a no-no J yes Katie- I believe it

My mother is so naïve sometimes

I prayed today

Da leaves in a short while to return to Poland

Can/may I stand in the middle of the storm and not be told to go inside?

Stupid icky mood today has me feeling blue- lets hope its just pms

I miss Sergio and Ferguson… and can’t explain what I miss specifically

It’s almost midnight…

Cold Water

Lets be bold

GO!!!

1. last cigarette?:
never? candy ones!

2. last beverage:
water.

3. last phone call?
Victoria ...(secret?)

4. last text message
Roxana

5. last CD played:
Yo-yo ma

6: last BUBBLE bath:
about 4-5 weeks ago

7: last time you cried :
2-3 weeks maybe...

8. last meal:
... hmm... what to consider a meal... how about last food consumption... avocado and after that was a protein drink.

SEVEN have you’s:

1. have you ever dated someone twice?:
nope

3. have you ever kissed someone & regreted it?:
no :-)

4. have you ever fallen in love?
perhaps... what's that mean anyway?

5. have you ever lost someone?:
hahaha i sure hope not! that would be terribly irresponsible of me.

6.have you ever slept until 2pm?:
PSHH!! yea!

7. have you ever been drunk and thrown up?
nope

SIX things you did in the past three days:
1. Went to the Movies
2. drove somewhere and got lost and had fun doing it
3. Laugh and smiled until my cheek bones hurt
4. Reminisced
5. Read my bible
6. wrote/drew on myself

list FIVE people you can tell pretty much anything to –
1. Emily
2. Dolly
3. Kyle
4. .... umm....
5. .....

list THREE favorite colors —
1. Blue
2. Purple
3. White

list FOUR things you want to do before you die -
1. Missionary
2. Get married/raise kids
3. Thank the people who got me this far
4. get dang good resume

This month have you…

Laughed until you cried: hahaha- today

Went behind your parents back?
umm... i dont think so... maybe once?

WHAT DO YOU THINK ABOUT:

1. Your last kiss?
.... sigh...

2. Gay Marriage?
undecided? no.... probably not

3. Lowering the drinking age?
how about none at all

4. Straight, Gay, or Bi?
Straight

5. Who are the best huggers that you know?
Kyle?

6. Do you believe in love at first sight?
Nope

7. Is there something you want to tell someone?
Lots

8. What brand of shirt are you wearing?
Hanes

9. Would you kiss anyone on your top friends?
of course

10. What is your current annoyance?
A+P

11. How many kids do you want to have?
2 maybe three

12. Do you want to change your name?
nope

13. Last time you saw your father?
i wanna say maybe 4 years..

14. What did you do for your last birthday?
idk... Kyle came home with me. :-D

15.What time did you wake up today?
4am- that's not normal i promise

16. What were you doing at midnight last night:
sleeping...

17. Name something you CANNOT wait to do:
Travel and learn to cook and bake!!

18. What is your favorite thing in your room?
my heart necklace, bible, water bottle, multiple books

20. Where is your best friend right now?
well i have mult.
2 are in PA
and
one is in Talge Hall

There is no fear in love. But perfect love drives out fear, because fear has to do with punishment. The one who fears is not made perfect in love.

1 John 4:18

Nice little reminder- yes? Patience and love- a love like a flame that never goes out. (Romans)

I ought to start studying now so farewell, readers or non-readers.

DAN CURTIS I MISS YOU! :-)
Even though my bro doesnt read this i miss him a lot too. :-))

My Friend
My heart overflows with gladness
Moments may turn to hours
and smiles will last longer
I really am happy when you are happy too
-Genuinely happy


The End

Labeling

Not to brag too much, but i gave blood today and i didn't black out or turn pale or anything! :-D i have witnesses to prove it! :-) that's all!

Everyone have a good sabbath!
Enjoy the Sun!

LoveBug

I'll play love songs
and listen to your comedies (and your tragedies)
See you smile in that half smirk type of way
Years will go by and Patience will still be
Moments with you bring hours of happiness
That of which are incomparable
And I see a lasting smile in that
Even in separate ways, we still mix like detergent in the washer
And my love still grows and still shines
As do I... shine

Forget me not, my dear
And go on in your adventures
I will support you- always
Just be true

Good and Plenty

Occification

NOT!

No.. I think i might be allergic to oxiclean- if that's possible. i've used it twice now and both times my fingers swell and turn all red... and they feel funny... its kinda cool :-) Maybe i should start wearing gloves or something when i deal with cleaning products.

Deprivation

movement which is code
Facebook and myspace. how else am i supposed to distract myself from studying? besides texting of course which i'm thinking about giving up while studying...
I'm H2O deprived :-)


Thats it... back to studying!

Caution: Selfishness below


I can do this... Refocus and on top of that have faith, and love. Patience too.



The End

I have hope for a rainbow. I am still, and even more so, divided in what i shall pursue as my lifelong career. Teacher or Dental.... I like them both a lot but teaching seems to call me at every turn. Every day at college, awakens me more and more and helps me realize that i need to make a solid decision because i can not go to college forever.

Pretty much one of my best friends made me really face something... well not entirely but made me look at what i'm doing. Am i doing this to prove myself or because of passion... Something like that. So thank you. again.

My entire body is still in butterflies and sighs and... happiness, thankfulness towards God. Something happened this weekend and i feel somehow more complete. Joy and content fill the gaps where words escape me.

I will be authentically caring. I feel it coming. As i know me well, though, i do know i am also selfish so forgive me for being bias as well. I am striving, without fret, worry or too much anxiety. And now that i have a grasp that everything will be okay by God, i feel a relief and hope that i haven't felt in weeks perhaps months.

My one suite mate is pretty chill, i talked to her a little tonight. The person i met earlier was her cousin. Oh goodness i feel stupid. Anyway, perhaps i should look over a few more details for my quiz tomorrow over last weeks lecture. I'm excited for this class. I am loathing and celebrating this challenge simultaneously. In a few weeks, perhaps my feelings on A+P will differ... :-)

PAST

Reading through my blogs... :-) happy moments, still happy unchanged moments :-)

Wednesday, November 12, 2008

wow... and i remember this now...

"I want my Jesus. I want to physically feel his arms around me and hear his heartbeat as it pulses calmly in my ear. I want my Jesus to tell me what's going on for me, but if he doesn't speak at all, i'll still be content.

So here i go to complain, like all the rest of the world- i will allow myself to be flushed away into what i consider this unacceptable behavior.

I want a friend to not fight with, to be able to talk with, to not have to fight for their attention, I want to be someone's friend, a real Jesus loving friend. One that doesn't live through habit, one that embraces change and deals with my fickleness and is supportive and we grow together with bible in hand. Where has that gone? how about a mentor? "

well, i have made a friend like that... currently my ex actually.. but he's still got this and i'm thankful for that. He has and hopefully always be like this. AND for the future of this year, this is what i aime for. Well, besides wanting my Jesus, who i had a date with today. The friend part- i will be all me and will fight to not be sucked into the human nature of everything proverbs says something against.. something like that... yea, so i pretty much read proverbs through twice today... two different versions.. actually still reading it in NCV but i'm taking a break... I went into coolige park today- hehehe and saw a water fountain! i wanted so badly to play in it... :-/ and a carousel!


and wow... so my hope of moving to maryland failed because the person i was going to live with got engaged... so thats why that didnt happen over the summer...

I can not be the only one posting these days! i need something to read!

Speaking of which... any book suggestions? be bold!

Week One

This water bottle has been with me at my desk and has been filled i think twice maybe three times a day which means i'm getting almost 2 3/4 more water than i used to be. :-) and that doesnt include the bottle of water i take with me to class in the morning. ;-) i usually only get half way throught that one. :-)


Yesterday i cracked open my bible... Let it fall where it may- and this is where i landed, and its still open on my desk.... Fell asleep right after i finished.. i think...

This is my pensive and mixed feeling face and my blah face...


And after week one of studying- i have created bags which i fear may become permanent. These have been here since last friday... they have moved in and are taking residency on my face. :-/ My body however, doesnt believe its ready for sleep quite yet because it seems to be telling me it would rather be awake doing something else.. something fulfilling, like apple crumb pie.. .mmmm... oh! i had rice today!! My stomach has been reintroduced to it recently and is still adapting because my sides are all tight like. that could be a good thing. yay for charcoal!

stupidness...

on a good note, making friends... broken heart... cytokinesis! and afternoon naps... and bothersome dreams.... yea, this morning i woke up wondering if pastor ferguson was okay... dave ferg... i had a dream he was dying and today was his last day... and he didnt tell anyone! but somehow i found out.. .the day before i had a awkward jacob type of dream.. well i guess not too awkward... ;-) well.... lets keep that a secret... either way, SAU- get ready for some action!

HAPPY BIRTHDAY JACOB!!

Swim Away!

Even this post is a broadcast soon regretted, i fear.
I must believe God IS good- I will persevere for the better or worse. And yet i contradict myself.

Look- you probably think your doing whatever your doing out of love and concern but i'd rather you (plural) leave it all alone. Thanks!

More and more i regret confiding in you people.
This immense regret is bubbling over to a state of mental chaos
So as a national broadcast stop telling other people my problems, emotions, cry fests etc.
Other people (ahem..) would rather not hear these additional aggravations.
Tell me why and I will soon understand.

My reason for these feelings are acceptable right now and healing is a long process, sometimes longer than the average but still a process nonetheless. I have rights and i deserve better treatment. And more for me than you, i shall have said such. My close friends are limited for reasons for which you (plural) are proving.

I have other things to spend my time doing instead of drowning in stupid teenage drama. This drama for which is unavoidable until further notice. So with care in my heart for 3rd 4th or 5th parties leave them out because (ahem..) its not meant for them.

The End

Fish swims away flustered...

Farewell

Last week before SAU in picture format:





Off to Collegedale in a few hours. Before I sign off though...

I love you DAN!!! Yo my man ;-) with all innocence :D
Thanks for so much Carly!
Gabr*ela Ma#%* Elv*R :-)
My Sanity thanks to my roomies
Thanks for being my shoulder Casie B.
BISS: Ooomps oomps! STRIPPER!
Roxana: Golden Delicious
Jenna: Work Buddy, Craft Buddy and be the best Senior
Paige B: Be good, Do good
Paige S: Laugh with Joyous songs in your heart- God is Good
Salome: VICKY!
Mariela: DIP IT
Ricky: Green is good for the soul! :-))

I'm gonna miss English class with my homies and Bechtal classes with the crazy folk :-)
OH the disections!

I LOVE this card!! i'm taking it with me to college!!! I think it was a valentines day card... that i'm not so sure about. anyway, I LOVE This card!! Yay for RED Campaign!! I can't help but love 'em

Pleasantville

Lets start from the bottom and work our way up since my pictures came in reverse order!




and Finally, right before leaving there, a cute little shot Carly took. :-) also Cute, if i may say myself.


After everyone parted, my mom came to pick the two of us up and we went to highland Gardens. These are my two personal favorite from Highland Gardens.
Monday, my aunt from maryland called us out of our bed letting us know she was about two minutes away. When she arrived, we were both just getting started for the day. We woke up my little cousin and convinced her to hurry to get dressed and she never finished her breakfast even after 30 minutes of reminders to eat her breakfast. So we pitched most of her cereal and headed out to harrisburg and walked around the capitol with my aunt. Waiting for Jeremy and the gang to get there, we hung out from 11ish to 12 until i got hungry again and before my aunt left we stopped at tacobell for lunch and waited at a local park on front street until the gang arrived.
Here they are! from left to right ( top: jeremy, Justin, Jacob; Bottom: Carlita, Me) We went to city island and all got on a boat!


We got to the water banks and tested the rocks as we stepped into the water. In fear of losing my phone i eventually opted for the universal bra pocket. we saw this pretty cool tree chillin over the water and decided to join the tree for a viewing of the beginnings of the sunset.


Carly texted me sabbath afternoon and asked if she could stay with me for a few days. My grandma was at church but i asked my mom and she said my grandma shouldnt have a problem with it. Carly arrived at my house sometime Sunday afternoon with her dad as the driver ( a great and fun guy he is) and we unloaded carly's luggage from the pretty blue SUV type of mobile vehicle. After her dad had left with Kayleigh, Carly and I grabbed some water and decided to go for a pretty long walk. We both hit up the cemetary down the road. We found a fresh grave! The guy that was there lived to be in his mid-nineties. Obviously we didnt know a thing about him but it was pretty cool

After deciding to head towards a pretty cool creek we took a different way, adventuring the trails i failed to finish via bike the previous week. We picked eachother daises along the way as our welcoming gifts. :-) ♫♪♬ doododoodo... ♫♪♬
Along came an old house that has been under construction for over 10 years. We were impressed by the looks of it and wanted to venture inside of it. We saw gates and alarm system signs and such so were hesitant about going in that direction. I thought maybe there would be another driveway entrance on the other side because i remember stopping there on my bikeride last week. Anyway, we walked up the lane. I'm not the greatest story teller but when we got to the top we saw an old barn and this huge open area for the cars. There was a BMW in the lot! whoa! Anyway, there was a heavy looking door to the right of us, an old greenish door with an old hatch in front of us and glass doors to the left. We went from right to left, knocking on the three doors. Then we heard dogs!! ... An older gentleman answered from the sliding glass doors. We, rather Carly, asked about the house and was curious if maybe he could tell us a little about it. So he let us in, and his family was outback next to a pool. (pretty) BTW he had two poodles and a shi tzuh dog. He gave us a tour of the lower level. Carlita could probably give a nice description of the house so we can wait for her post if you care to know. After thanking him and his family for allowing us to visit, we headed on our marry way down the road. While there we learned the origianl house was built in 1851 and is still standing and the family had built additions to the house once they had bought the property.

Continuing on, we finally reached the creek and here the picture part of our adventure begins.

No, it's not okay to be selfish. That's the last thing i ever want to be.

Emily told me today that she can bash on me and call me names left and right but as soon as it comes down to someone else .... well i told myself to stop it- to stop crying and being hurt because its selfish. not that being hurt is selfish but hurting and not thinking about how other ppl feel and responding to what they need too.

For the record, i'm trying. i went four days without crashing and i think that's an accomplishment.

this isn't about me

its about other people. i care about me too much and stuff like this isn't where i ever want to be selfish about.

its all about being selfless and loving others before urself

and i know i'm right

and i'm told the first rule to loving others is loving urself. and i need to take time for myself. (i get that)

i'm trying really hard to be internally and authentically patient and wait all this out and be open minded about other ppl

i really took last thursday night and contemplated. and i can protest as much as i want, but i have to really be authentically selfless and caring in my heart.

Dr suess

Captured

Some of my favorite moments spent with people, i regret not having remembered better. My first cryfest for example. Carly and I ending up in one of our rooms, on countless occasions, just crying. (it was me crying most of the time.) I remember a lot of the times, skipping lunch at Allen, to sit in with one of my mentors at the time trying to figure out right from wrong and talking about the future and a form of leadership i knew nothing about at the time. The two of us sitting behind a desk in 'rolling chairs' with stacks of papers, white macbooks and two printers that were probably bigger than me. Later, i remember sitting in the little white church inside of the ABC, being a kid again, making dinner for friends consisting of rice and any number of different toppings, and accompanied by moving pictures and cuddling.

but if i'd said it a hundred times before, expect a thousand more. Expect me to call you to see if i can make you smile. Just calling you to see if you're sleeping or dreaming, maybe dreaming.... Just calling you to see if you're okay while i'm not there, only like a thousand miles away... 182.51 mi.)

Another sappy blog.
::caution::

Because of my inability to tell i shall share in another form other than via phone.
The moments not on film or in jpeg form are also as memorable as those that are. However, it is this reason that makes it harder for the memory to remember and when remembered, make it all the more sentimental. In my case, and my lack of a working memory, perhaps it is even more valuable. I said that a date usually includes making plans to do something at a specific time in order to enjoy each others company- when it comes to the dating aspect, usually going out somewhere nice for dinner and then to see a movie. I used to tell kyle that we really never had a real date together, so he took me out one time just a few months ago. BTW it was AMAZING- i was as nervous as heck cause i don't know what one does on a date... i even asked him what i'm supposed to do. :-D

Cameras usually help out a lot towards keepsakes. Some of my favorites were never captured on camera. One of my favorite first memories with kyle was a photo-shoot with his sister and this guy who was crushing on me. We sat together on one side of a picnic table, but i felt the awkwardness.... Another time was just a few trees down to the left. I remember the scene, nothing that was said, just that we were there and something happened and it was cute.
But first date? I thought i'd remember it as the Chinese restaurant occasion, officially known as a date, and a first official date. Today, i thought about one of our first dates and i remember it at kyle's house with his family. It was sabbath. I can just smile thinking of it. it wasn't a first 'date' but i remember it as a type of date. Our dates making a fool of me trying to hit a little 1" cylindrical ball across the pingpong table, our one date where we had our first game together playing guess who? Dates reading the bible and figuring out what we believe as individuals and not agreeing on what bible we like most. dates playing house or with mommy nase teaching me blokus or rumikub. And one of the funniest was going grocery shopping together! Oh the looks!

I made it through my first week... almost. I did do a lot of texting, crying, calling, and tv/movies etc. Week two has launched and days are better but nights are still on the lower side. I suppose its normal especially for being the first boyfriend. Sorry guys, its life.

For the wisdom: Boys are jerks but sometimes they're worth our time- i made a great friend and was given awesome memories that i won't regret sharing with one of my best friends.

Persuasion

I am persuading my uncle into sending me to poland.... so just cross your fingers!
I showed him my exceptionally good grades and guilted him saying that i am one of two remaining relatives of Thai decent. ...because he loves me. :-) My first shot was... hey you promised that one thing....but now i'm really trying to give him really good reason to. :-))

SO CROSS YOUR FINGERS AND PRAY HARD!

Date Day

First, these three pictures below/above are the re-livings of Emily and my childhood. Curiosity caused to make attempt to shimmy our way through the tires in hope of still fitting...

The two pictures below with Shawn are from fun day with shawn where we walked to the park a few miles away and hung out and went to one of the creeks and swung on the tire swings. We made adventures with the 'castle' and climbed poles and got chased.

These pictures were on several different occasions. The picture above is one under one of the four bridges surrounding my house.